I have not spoken with my grandmother all summer. My mother passed away a few years ago, and since then she has been overly critical of our family, and was coming over uninvited every single day, which was annoying but livable. At the start of the summer however, she got ten times worse, and after one to many rude and mean comments I quit speaking to her.Now however I feel that I should attempt to contact her or make things right in some way before I leave for school, because even though she was the one in the wrong she is stubborn and would never reach out to make things right. How should I go about this? Or should I even bother?
2007-07-25 15:03:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Family is family and having a grandmother that cares enough to come over and check on you is something alot of kids would love to have. Maybe you should see it for what it might be. She misses her daughter and has trouble saying she is lonely so she uses criticizing as an excuse to be around. Her being judgmental gives her a reason to come see how things are going and to be near the family. Other wise what excuse would she have to check in. I doubt she gets invited to Sunday dinners. I think you should take her out to eat or bring a meal to share at her house. Remember they are not long with us and you will miss her when she is gone. Learn to laugh at her in a loving way and try your best to see through her hard shell to the mushy center. You might be surprised.
2007-07-25 15:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by honeykoen1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should bother! She is your Grandmother and although she can be annoying, she is looking out for what she feels is your best interests. She does mean well.
Why not contact her and invite her to lunch or something and explain to her that you felt she was being too critical of you and your family and you just needed some space and time to think everything through.
Let her know that you love her and appreciate her thoughts, but she also needs to be considerate of your feelings.
Make up with your Grandma...tomorrow is never a guarantee!!
2007-07-25 22:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would reach out to her.
She is likely feeling that she has to take your mothers place since your mom has passed away.I'm sure she means well but is going about it in the wrong way.
You'll be off to school,so that will stop for the time being anyway.Just try to accept her for who she is and overlook a lot of what she has to say.It's hard but you can do it.
Tell her you are sorry for any misunderstandings you two have had and that you love her.You'll go off to school feeling much better than if you hadn't talked to her.The longer you put off talking to her,the harder it becomes.
Family is so very important.Friends come and go but family is always there for you no matter what.
Good luck with grandma and good luck with school.
2007-07-25 22:27:23 · answer #3 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
if you feel you'd like to make amendsl you could try going to see her (call first and ask).
let her know you want to make things right between the two of you and tell her you care, if that is the way you feel.
sometimes there isn't a right or wrong... and older people are set in their ways... plus if she is your mom's mother, she might have bad feelings over her death, and is "mean" because she's having a hard time getting over the death.
i'm really sorry for your loss, hugs
2007-07-25 22:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should try to make things right! Just call her and tell her you would like to talk with her. Let her know that you do not wish to argue but you do not appreciate her rude comments about your family. Set some boundaries as to when she can come over so your family has their privacy.
2007-07-25 22:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by Dan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, be the grownup here and send her a letter tell her that you love her and miss her. Leave the whole neg. stuff out. Just be nice!
She might think your slacking and she needs to come in and take control. She might even be acting off what your mom told her in the past. Like my kids are driving me crazy. I tell my mom that alot but then an hour later I'm all happy again!
2007-07-25 22:09:33 · answer #6 · answered by jammero69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send her a card and tell her how you feel. Also tell her that some alone time is ample towards the healing process of your mother. Good luck.
2007-07-25 22:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like confrontation so I might leave a plant or some flowers on her doorstep with a card saying how much you love and appreciate her.
2007-07-25 22:23:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of my grandparents are dead and there is nothing I wouldn't give for a few minutes with any of them again. Make up with her while she is still here. I think you will regret it if you don't.
Don't let a petty fight ruin everything.
2007-07-25 22:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by ChinaRain80 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she might be angry over your mothers death ,and not knowing how to handle it, became irritable. she might not even realize what she is doing. even tho, to you, it seems like she does. she might even be wondering why all of a sudden you dont talk to her anymore. the best thing to do would to be just sit down with her, and try to get her to talk about her anger, and critisizim. remember, the elderly are like kids when something happens, they dont understand how or why, so they act out. try to make things good with her. remember, you only get to spend one life with her. best of luck to you.
2007-07-25 22:12:47 · answer #10 · answered by della 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋