How do i fix my life?

Question

I'm alone and depressed iv been single for about 6 months now and i was in a relationship for years im only 19 and the reasonw e broke up was becouse our son died now im a trainwreck not only has profesional help not worked but i can no longer aford it im trying so hard to pull my life together but i cant seem to get my self out of debt i know im 10,000 in debt witch is less that alought of people but i cant stand it before all of this happened i was not in any debt i was living a good life i was a lean muscular 200lbs and now im broke alone depressed and iv gained 100lb and lost all the muscle im an awfull jelotunus un educated blob and i want to get myself out of debt learn to love again and lose the weight but the wait just fluxuates withe 20lbs of where i at and the debt dosent move no-one will help me or give me a loan to consolidate and my heart is ruined....but who could ever love me anyway

Answer 1

You have a lot of chaos right now. Step back, take a breather.
In what you have written, you have so many things that need to be resolved. Make two lists, one from most to least important of what you need to fix, and the second from most to least important of what is easiest to fix. Try to combine those two and work on the first thing on your list. When you feel accomplished, move on. If you fail, try again; keep going.

The sadness could be keeping your weight in that area...
If you have a friend you can be completely open to, you should talk about your feelings and get support. He/She could try to catch you when you fall and encourage you to keep going.
Though I know it sounds stupid, when you start to feel completely down, separate yourself for a moment; put your feelings aside, do what needs to be done, and then go back to your emotions later. They will be much easier to deal with and you may have a different perspective.
Good luck, I hope you are able to work through this

Answer 2

I think the first thing you need to do is stop having this big pity party for yourself. I am sorry for the loss of your son, that is a very difficult thing to deal with and I feel grief counseling is helpful just as long as there is progress.

Being depressed is part of the grieving process, it is normal and crying helps to heal. The weight gain is most likely part of that depression.

Professional help works when you do YOUR part, it is not a magic fix. You need to do the work, and that's the hard and exciting part. This is your chance to either grow or wither, you choose the way you want to go. Also, stop thinking you need somebody. That get's too many people into trouble to think someone is going to make them happy. Make you happy first, then maybe someone will come along. Just don't make that you main priority.

Being in debt that much is going to take some maturity to get you out of it and I suggest you get some debt counseling with a reputable place and start dealing with that. Being in debt is a terrible way to live. Stop and think about what you are spending, have a budget and stick to it. Cut up those cards and only buy what you NEED not what you WANT.

Enlist friends and family who are supportive to help you. Make a weekly date to walk, hike, something to boost those endorphins so you feel better and start to loose the weight.

You need to push yourself everyday. Make sure you are eating healthy, that is what will make you depressed and gain weight. No alcohol (a depressant), recreational drugs (trouble), and no sodas (keeps weight/fat on your body).

Eat healthy foods; lean meats, veggies, fruits, lots of water. Get some sort of daily exercise--walk after dinner for 15-20 minutes. Keep yourself busy with positive, healthy things to boost your mood and change your perspective.

Think of a way to honor your son; help other children, plant a tree in his honor, join a group of other parents that have lost children.

You can do this, just make up your mind to do it and you will. If you don't have a spiritual connection with God, I strongly suggest you seek out one. He can change your life and has a great plan for you. Won't you give Him a chance to show you, you've tried it on your own and haven't made yourself happy.

Answer 3

So sorry your son died
the first thing you have to stop doing is knocking yourself~everyone is lovable, including you
it seems like you need to forgive and that takes a little work on your part
the reason we overeat is because we feel so empty and try to fill it up with food
now, I wish to mention the Lord here, because He loves us and wants to help us and will help us
depression is a heaviness that He wants to take off
will you sincerely go to Him in prayer and give your life to Jesus and then trust Him day by day to take over and lead you with your mind, your will , your emotions, your finances and relationships
If you can, start reading the Psalms
I speak from experience and want to share my healing and deliverance with you~I want to say you have hope for a better future~don't give up; you are so young; take one day at a time and Jesus will walk you through it~ talk to Him even if you don't see Him or feel Him, He's right there and will become real to you
I love you and He loves you~just the way you are~things will get better, you'll see

Answer 4

Depression is about how you think. If you believe you can you will and if you believe you can't you won't.

You need to retrain your thinking patterns to become aware of your self-worth and the assets you already have.

I suggest you read my articles on Coping with Depression as a start.

http://themeaningisyou.com

Answer 5

You fix your life one thing at a time. Begin by changing what you can change, and then realizing there are things in your life that you can't change. learn to deal positively with these. If you keep your life negative, then it will be negative. If you try making positive changes, then your life will slowly become positive.

Answer 6

if god wishes your life to be fixed it will be our pain is how much god loves us we must understand that once you do your life will improve faith is your salvation