My husband and I just got married 7 weeks ago. I know that marriage isn't just about the wedding that it is about spending life together...but since the wedding i've been feeling a bit depressed. It's like all of this time and energy went into planning the wedding...I wasn't a crazy bride with crazy details I was relaxed and happy. All of the time leading up to the wedding was filled with joy and excitement...I never once was stressed or sad. The wedding day was perfect...it was everything anyone could ever hope or wish for. But now I feel like it is a let down. All of the preparation and excitement for one day and in the blink of an eye it is gone. I just put on my dress again and it made me cry. Our life now is filled with the everyday mundane tasks. Really there is no excitement. Is this normal to feel this way or is there something wrong with me?
2007-07-25 13:54:59 · 20 answers · asked by Heather 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
there is nothing wrong with you. it is not written anywhere (in any law books or anything else) that says that your marriage (after the wedding) has to be this routine and boring thing. c'mon...spice things up a bit. go 'shopping' with your new hubby. and 'shopping' i mean to your local adult novelty store. just because you are now husband and wife doesn't mean that you have to settle into this boring thing that is 'supposed' to happen to everyone. it is not written anywhere so make it exciting. go on a hike with your new hubby...or get all dressed up and go out for a meal at a fancy restaurant. or go dancing...or take some ballroom dancing lessons together. or go wine tasting. there's lots that you can do...really depending on where you life. hopefully you live in or around the area of a large city. think outside the box and live outside the box. don't put any effort into what the 'expecations' are now. cause that's a bunch of crap. or better yet...do these things yourself. if your hubby is the kind of person that wants to stay home. fine. but if you want to go out and do stuff then you go. just because you are husband and wife doesn't mean that you have to setttle like everyone else. live your life. you only have one.
2007-07-25 14:02:01 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's completely normal, and very common. Many people feel the same way after their wedding, after graduating, or after getting a promotion that they've worked for for a long time.
Try to focus on the things you like about your husband and try to do new things with him, even if it means going to a new coffee shop that you've never been to. Vacations are great for reliving the passion, even if it's a weekend in the bed and breakfast 4 miles away.
Also, now that you're done with the wedding, you have more time to focus on your job or on school. Staying busy helps immensely, and gives you more stuff to talk about.
Try to find a hobby (or go back to an old hobby or activity) that gives you some me-time.Same goes for your husband. You'll appreciate each other more and find each other more exciting if you have some independence. If everything fails, don't be ashamed to seek counseling.
Good luck. This too, shall pass.
2007-07-25 21:35:47 · answer #2 · answered by jimbell 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. My wedding was planned in 5 1/2 months. We were married out of state so my Mother did most of the planning. We talked on the phone everyday. It was a whirlwind of excitement. I felt like a Princess on my wedding day. That is truly the only time when you can say the day is all about you. Then after the wedding and the gifts stop coming for me the same ole same ole set in. Regardless, I still had my one day and I would not trade it for anything. I had a ball.
2007-07-25 23:46:06 · answer #3 · answered by missie_d_73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun its so normal to feel this way most girls wait there whole life to get married and then when the day is over there nothing more to dream about its already happened but if you remember dreaming about other things when you were younger like going out with you husband looking up at the stars and knowing your going to be with this person forever you can still do that, you love this man and you somtimes have to create excitment and trust me there will be events that will come that will be more exciting then the wedding itself, you can make the everday tasks more exciting as well! i think you should go out for a night on the town with you husband and just forget about every thing that stressing you out and dont forget your one of the luckey ones some girls wait their whole lives to find that one that there willing to spend their lives with and you've done that so be happy not sad you be fine
2007-07-25 21:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said, it was a let down and I think a lot of brides feel that way. Did you have a honeymoon? Even if you did maybe you need to plan a weekend get away for you and your hubby!
I didn't feel that way after our wedding, but we went on vacation last year and had such a great time that when we got home we were both kind of depressed.
I would suggest doing some thing to get yourself out of that funk. Like go on a date with your hubby go out and have some fun! Did you get your photos back yet, maybe looking at how much fun everyone had will help.
Give your self some time, but also enjoy being married, it will pass hang in there!
2007-07-25 21:02:49 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stress about it too much. I was the same way after we got back from the honeymoon and into the daily grind. It's almost like brides get post-wedding depression..kinda like the depression new mom's go through. Try talking to your hubby about how your feeling, and plan a special day together. The depression or sadness will go away eventually...just give it some time and hang in there! If you ever need somebody to talk to, just shoot me an email!
2007-07-25 21:01:47 · answer #6 · answered by Christel P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sooooooooooooooo normal.
lately I´ve been sleeping so long for the first time in years, and I think it´s post-wedding depression because three months of intense planning for our wedding is over.
I looked at the video and pictures of the wedding for 2 months, and have finally put them away, but it still excites me to know my Dad still has an undeveloped roll of film from our ceremony!
For me, what I am going to do is work on doing something-going back to the gym-that I can see results. I think that´s what I miss...seeing the results of something so great, and maybe if I keep my mind off it-this site helps because I can help others-maybe my mini depression will go away.
Honey, join the club of brides that are depressed-it´s OK!
2007-07-26 06:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very common problem. It is just like you described. Couples plan and plan and wait and wait for the big wedding day, and then the honeymoon, but no one ever plans for the day you get back to planet earth after the honeymoon.
Just bec you are married doesn't mean you can't do the things you enjoyed before you are married. Go back out to the clubs, or with your friends, or whatever you did before. Get childish and crazy once in a while. Go for walks or drives together. Don't forget car sex. You are with your partner for the rest of your life. Enjoy it.
2007-07-25 21:58:41 · answer #8 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still get that way sometimes and its been 2.5 years since my wedding. I was 19 and he was 21 when we married and now alot o our friends are getting engaged and I feel a bit jealous that they get to plan weddings and I've been there and done that, but its great becuase I get to be in 2 of the weddings and both friends want me to help make everything and dress shop with them so I feel involved again and its great. you just feel this way because its still so new, but eventually things will get back to normal for you. just think all the things you get to look forward to...first holidays together as a married couple, wedding anniversarys...you'll feel better in no time.
2007-07-26 02:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married recently as well. While, I sort of understand your feelings of wanting to relive the wedding day and all of the excitement, I think you might be going a little overboard. . I think you should reevaluate your feelings about marriage. It is supposed to be a happy time. Maybe you should talk to a friend or maybe even our husband about he feels. You are in store for a lot of exciting times in your life. Make everyday worth living.
2007-07-25 21:03:19 · answer #10 · answered by sdgirljen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋