So I asked a Q earlier as to what to do about my dead sex life. Now I'm asking why a man stops having sex with his gf or does so infrequently. For me, we're doing it maybe once every 4-6 weeks since I moved in with him in February. It used to be a few times a week, then last year 1-2 times on the weekend. He says he still finds me attractive and desires me, but it's me who's horny and it's him who turns me down. He refuses to see a doctor in case it's medical, and he won't go to counseling with me. Oh, and I know he's NOT impotent. We've been together almost 4 yrs and we're in our 30s.
So guys, have you lost your sex drive like this? Why? What's the real story? I thought men are famous for their libidos. (sorry for the stereotype) Why'd I have to find the 1 out of 100 that isn't horny??
For more details see my other question, if you want - http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApDTXRl9sq8s0GfFEjnL6KLsy6IX?qid=20070725054004AAm1Jna
Thanks.
2007-07-25 13:31:32 · 10 answers · asked by sueannaj 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Obviously I meant to say "why DON'T" - sorry - it's been a tough time lately.
2007-07-25 13:46:55 · update #1
It's most likely fatigue and stress. Try for a Saturday morning. Or take a trip and then see if it changes. If it doesn't, then go the MD route. Counseling probably won't help the libido, but there may be other issues. If that doesn't work, tell him how you feel. Last resort, move on. Your missing the best part of your life.
2007-07-25 13:35:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why'd I have to find the 1 out of 100 that isn't horny?? That's so funny!!! I had to write back on this one. I'm so very sorry that you founded that one out of 100 that isn't horny. Sex is great so why not have right??? Anyway, on the behalf of all men, we are all so very horny. We actually wake up horny. The only thing I could think of what's going on with your BF is stress related situations. That could be a total mental close down that could lead to lack of motivation. It doesn't have to be the female all the time, it could just be a simple lack of motivation of the out side world. You guys should definitely talk about this and come to some type of understanding 'cause it could only lead to complete disaster futuristically speaking for you. You know what you need and if you're not happy, it will only lead to frustration. You're at your sex prime and he gotta jump on to that knowledge if he wanna keep you happy. Plane and simple, you deal with it now and force the matter with you and your lover or you just deal with your issues on your own by pleasing your self for the rest of your life. No matter what, you gotta make a move toward the future. Is it pleasantly happy for you OR is it just happy. It's your choice. Good luck!!!
2007-07-25 14:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by Donnie Brasco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been together almost 4 years, you said. Scientifically, that animalistic desire and passion between two people that drive them to cuddle, kiss, have passionate sex, and make them think about each other when they are away from each other dies down after 18 months to 3 years. Then a couple settles into a different state. In other words, as far as your relationship goes, "The honeymoon is over" as the old saying goes.
More often, its the man who has the more active libido, and the woman's sex drive is lower. In your case, it sounds like you got the short end of the stick.
I was extremely crazy about a girl I was with and that passion lasted for over 2 years. But the excitement of it all died and although I wanted sex and still had a strong sex drive, I just started to have that feeling of boredom when it came to sex with her. It was like that for the last 2 years I was with her. Although we were close and I loved her and cared about her, the initial passion that I had for her slowly drifted away because of the familiarity I grew accustomed to because we lived together.
But she gained weight while I took care of myself. She didn't fix herself up the way she did when we first went out. She grew too needy and sometimes that was hard for me to feel passion for someone who at times didn't exhibit qualities that were very attractive.
Make sure you take care of yourself and let your man know that you are a sexual being and maybe go to places in the bedroom you've never been before.
2007-07-25 13:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is such a huge factor in a relationship. Regular sex is healthy. I think that if your man (cause most guys always think of sex) is turning you down something is wrong. It could be possible that he has another girl on his mind. I went through something like this with my ex-gf. We had a regular sex life, then all of sudden we just stopped having sex. before i knew it we were broke up and she started seeing one of her friends. I think that if your bf wants to be committed to you, he would seek concling with you, other wise hes not right for you
2007-07-25 13:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably the pressure of you moving in together. The whole dynamic of the relationship has changed, which is somewhat common.
2007-07-25 17:45:23 · answer #5 · answered by zotzotzot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suspect its ither medical or he is gay (no affence) listen if u want him to het horny just start off by doing some of the work, like tell him to relax and service him, or try something new in sex that you havent tryed! be more kinkki ;)
2007-07-25 13:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by Russian Lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You thought that is a dead sex life?! I'm 17 years old and I havn't had sex ever!
2007-07-25 13:35:05 · answer #7 · answered by ..jennyluvz.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry honey, He's having an affair with someone else.
2007-07-25 14:28:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
85% is that he have another partner beside you... You might want to look deeper into his behavior.
2007-07-25 13:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by Glenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be has someone else
2007-07-25 17:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋