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I am a single mom with a seven year old daughter. Up until 6 months ago we lived with my parents and siblings, we also shared a room. Six months ago we moved out with my long term boyfriend. Her father is rarely in the picture and she prefers not to see him. My daughter is a wonderful,shy,smart girl. Her one fault is bedtime. She usually goes to bed alright, but I can't get her to stay asleep through the night. She wakes up crying and scared. She wants me with her. She spends alot of weekends at my parents house. She loves it there, and I think its mostly because my mom sleeps with her when she is there. My question is...do i go in and sleep with her when she cries to comfort her? Or do I let her cry and tell her she needs to sleep alone. There has already been so many changes for her recently, I have a hard time doing that. Please lend me your advice. Thanks.

2007-07-25 13:03:55 · 14 answers · asked by mermaidjazz 2 in Family & Relationships Family

14 answers

Double dose of nyquil.

2007-07-25 13:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 4

Honestly, I worked in a day care, im not saying im a pro but I also have 7 soon to be 8 nieces and nephews, and the best thing is to make her room as comfortable as possible, maybe let her watch tv while she sleeps, get a night light, or something similar, but laying with her until she sleeps is a bad Idea. Granted she has been thru a lot in the past few months, children can be very manipulative, and at the age of 7, she is smart enough to know that if she plays her cards right, she will get what she wants! That sounds bad, I know,but trust me on this! Let her know that she will have to get used to sleeping alone, comfort her the first couple times, but DONT give in and lay with her til she sleeps!! Trust me, you will never see your bed again!

2007-07-25 13:09:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

I'd try to ease her into it. Do put her to bed in her own room, but leave the door open. In the night, when she gets up...take her back to her room and put her back in bed...and maybe just rub her back for a few minutes before going back to your own room. You could also buy her a radio and let her listen to music at night. You're in a tough spot and it isn't like it's a matter of her being stubborn. There HAVE been a lot of changes for her, so take your time but be consistent. Hang in there!

2007-07-25 13:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 1 0

I think that she is old enough for you to talk to her about what might make her more comfortable sleeping by herself. Gently explain that she is too old for you to sleep with her. Maybe she would like a night light or a special stuffed animal or even a special blanket. Just go trial and error to help her find the system that works best for her.

2007-07-25 13:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 1 0

Lay in the bed with her, and ease her to sleep, once she's asleep, go back to your own bed. Believe it or not letting her sleep with you will probably hurt her in the long run. My mom(Who is also a single mom) had the same problem with my sister, who will wake up scared and end up going to my moms room to sleep. Let her build her own confidence, but don't allow her to think your unreliable. She's already lost her dad the last thing she needs is to think her mom isn't trusting

2007-07-25 13:09:53 · answer #5 · answered by Richard S 2 · 1 1

it style of feels to me that now's no longer the suitable time to insist that she replace the habitual that she is used to. i do no longer understand how lengthy its been which you have have been given been stepping into and dozing along with her whilst she is disillusioned yet, she is used to it now. i think of at seven years previous, she's too previous to permit her cry it out as you will possibly with a toddler. She of course desires convenience and that i think of you, properly from my view, experience the would desire to convenience her. have you ever gotten any help in attempting to artwork on why she awakens so many times (is it each and every nighttime?) and is so disillusioned? Does she have repetitive undesirable desires? Is she wakeful of being scared or needy or is she purely one million/2 asleep and desiring to be comforted and permit to fall returned to sleep without ever truly waking up? Does she talk approximately it? is this something you have suggested in the process the day -- i do no longer mean her habit yet, I mean her want for lots comforting each and every nighttime. Does she understand what upsets her? It looks like she has spent maximum of her existence sharing a room if no longer a mattress with somebody and that should truly be how she likes it by skill of now. i would not tell her she desires to sleep on my own at this factor. i do no longer see this as a self-discipline factor or something that she desires to be punished approximately. (except she is being manipulative? yet i don't get that experience from the information you have given) She could be jealous of the boyfriend and understand that your mattress is the only place that he receives to be in and that she doesnt. Is that achievable? Is she afraid that he will leave as her father did? Or is she afraid that he will conclusion up being like her father is? the base line for now however is that if there have been a brilliant form of recent alterations, do no longer rock the boat by skill of insisting that this habit replace precise now as properly.

2016-11-10 07:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

In the situation she is in, it is natural for her to seek all the attention she can possibly get. She gets her way at your parent's house and expects to get it with you. You should be compassionate and agree to tell her a bedtime story to lull her to sleep, but that's it. explain to her that you know she is going through a rough time but assure her you are too. If you give in to her with this situation her desire for attention will only escalate and you will be faced with the task of granting her every wish. Kids, especially in this situation need for the surviving parent to set boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not. You would be well advised to talk to your parents so that both of you are on the same page as to what your views are about this situation. Get them to stop giving in. You should understand that she is going through a tough time and does need attention in other ways. She needs to feel that someone is willing to step up to the plate in the absence of her father but that there will be no compromising on the discipline. You will both be better off if she knows there is no monkey business allowed. You have to be loving but show a strong hand in both her rearing and your new condition as a single parent.

2007-07-25 13:17:37 · answer #7 · answered by SexRexRx 4 · 1 1

i used to do that as a kid when we moved in with my now step dad which was my moms boyfriend at the time. just tell her she cant sleep with you and to go to sleep. tv always helped me fall asleep even if it seems like she is up too long watching it will help her sleep throughout the night. you can go to the doctors and get meds to help her stay asleep.

2007-07-25 13:11:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I would just lay with her until she falls back to sleep. In the mornings you should have talks with her and discuss the issue(s) she is having and then reassure her as gently as possible. She has had a big change in her life and just needs time to adjust. Be patient and loving, it'll all work out.

Best of Luck! Ü

2007-07-25 13:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by CluelessOne 5 · 2 0

hers a little trick that might work get a sleeping bag and tell her she can sleep in your room in the sleeping bag ..on the floor. and once she gets used to the new surrondings slowly work her into her own room..eventually she will get tired of sleeping on the floor..

2007-07-25 13:08:55 · answer #10 · answered by nas88car300 7 · 1 0

she really needs to sleep alone and my guess is she wants your attention and knows you feel bad when she cries. i usually don't refer to television but, the show super nanny deals a lot with this subgect. go to her web site or watch the show to see how to get her to stay in bed. good luck.

2007-07-25 13:08:17 · answer #11 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0 1

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