I need help with my dad?

Question

Ok so I met my dad when I was 16 and moved in with him when I was 17, 2 days before my 18th birthday he kicked me out because I'm not respectfull enough for him. I'm 19 now and I moved back in with him in April because he couldn't afford the bill by himself. Ever since I moved in with him he bosses me around and treats me like crap. The power bill is in my name because he has a huge bill. Anyway I stopped staying at the house at the beginning of June because he put a gun to my chest one night when he was mad at me. I have recently found my own place that I move into next Wednesday but I don't know how to tell my dad that I'm moving out. I have been paying rent even though I haven't been staying there so he wont get kicked out. I wont be able to do that now though. I am kinda scard about what he will say/do. I don't want to get the cops involved because of him being my dad. So does anyone have any advice?

Also my little sister lives with my dad cause her mom is way crazyer. I just met my dad cause he supposably didn't know anything about me until i was 16. I don't want my dad to lose my little sister. That would be another reason why I'm worried about taking the power out of my name.

Answer 1

you might have to...NO ONE should put a gun to at all......if hes kicked out that is HIS problem not yours..and if he wants to move in with you guess what have alist of rules for him to live by...and if doesn't want to tell him togo to the ymca or salvation army and stay there..just move out before you end up broke or even worse..

Answer 2

Honey if he does things like holding a gun to you, the police should have been involved long ago. I'm sorry to tell you that because it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. That is not fatherly behavior and neither is anything else he's done to you.
I understand that probably after 16 years of not having a father you would want to keep him if you can. But no matter what you do for him it will not turn him into the man he should be. He stayed away for 16 years for a reason, and it was because he had no business raising a child.
If I were you I would go to the police department and explain the situation and file for a protective order. If he will put a gun to you over something petty, just imagine how he will flip over this. He isn't treating you like a daughter, he's treating you like a girlfriend that he can manipulate and abuse how he likes. I'm sorry, that's just not what you need. And besides the physical threat to your life, it's also important that you are able to get yourself ahead. You shouldn't have to care for your parent's financial situation when you are young and beginning your life as an adult. That's just not the way it should work. If anything, your parents should be the ones offering YOU some support, not the other way around.
I think a lot of people are going to end up telling you that you do need to involve the police, dad or not. I hope that you are wise and take the advice. I think it's the right advice. Best of luck and I hope everything turns out good for you. You sound like a responsible, smart caring person. It would be awful for someone to take advantage of that.

Answer 3

I do, a father is a father and in one point if u have been disrecptful to him and he kicked u out u deseve it becuase u never be disrecptful to an adult. But when i heard u say that u stop staying in the house and in June he put a "GUN to your Chest". Than I say that is not being a father becuase a father doesn't do those things unless their crazy. And like u said if u found your own place to move in I say move in but when you are going to tell u father. Please have someone there with u and talk in some place Public, becuase u never know what can happen. He can come in your door one day and do something to u. I hope u have a roomate but if your ready and have a job to support yourself that it is time for u to move on and start your own life. But this is just an advice and u are the only one that can make the chioce. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 4

putting a gun to a childs chest is not something a good father does. Why should you respect a man anyway that wasnt around for 16 years of your life and then he has the BalZ to say you are disrespectful to him and get angry with you. It sounds like he likes the convenience of having a house mate to take care of all the things a grown man should. Truthfully this situation really worries me b/c it sounds like your father had an agression problem along with some things i am sure you didnt want to mention. You might need to get the cops involved and just remeber just because he is your biological father doesnt mean he has shown any fatherly love to you. You dont deserve to be scared of anyone nor should you have to pay him your money when he should've been supporting you your whole life. Dont feel guilty do what you need to do to keep yourself safe.

Answer 5

Get the cops involved now! He threatened your life with a gun! If you don't he may very likely not stop at just pointing it at you. If you value your life, you will get the police involved. As for your little sister, worry more about her than him. He's already shown that he is abusive. You saw how he can be. Do you honestly want your sister in that situation you deemed unsafe enough that you left? Do you want to leave her in a situation where he may turn the gun on her next? What about her future? What he did to you could destroy her if he keeps custody. As for him, if you really want to help him, get the police involved and get him the professional help he needs. That's the only way you can really help him out of the situation he's in is to get him some mental help before he does attack or kill somebody.

Answer 6

OMG- YOu are the daughter HE is supposed to be the parent. After what he's done you owe him nothing nor is it your responsibility to support or respect him after what he did. You should get your things when he isn't there (bring a male friend or two to help and protect you incase he returns) and move out- leave a note to the effect of what I've written above) and say he can contact you when he grows up and learns to be a decent parent. Then move on with your life. You are better off without people like that around you. Good luck honey. If you feel scared call the police.

Answer 7

You don't need help with your dad, he needs help period. An order of protection and no forwarding address might be the best way to say goodbye. Not sure what not being respectful enough for him means, but sure he lost the right to any amount of respect when he put a gun to your chest. You should not feel that you owe him anything, he is the dad, sounds like he wasn't willing to be responsible for the first 16 years of your life and hasn't had a change of heart about that.

Answer 8

Honey, if he gets angry enough to put a gun to your chest, you better get the cops involved. Why is a 19 yr old responsible for paying her fathers' bills. I would get out of there and let him learn some responsibility and make his own way. You said he kicked you out, but then asked you back so you can help pay the bills. That's absolutely ridiculous. He needs major therapy.

Answer 9

You said you met your dad when you were 16. Where was he before that? Now he treats you like crap. He only wants you around when he needs money.I'd move out just as fast as I could and I wouldn't look back. If I had to take the police with me to get my stuff I'd do that to. I know from experience, you don't owe dad anything including respect.

Answer 10

first of all, know that you dont owe him anything. just because he poped back in the picture a couple years ago, doesnt make him your boss. second of all, he is very disrespectfull to you and is just using you to help pay his bills, you need to just move out and tell him later. the moment he put a gun to your chest, should have been the last time you been there. you need to stay away for the sake of your life. move on, he will just tear you down, its sad i know, but you cant miss what you havent had. so just because he is your biological dad, doesnt mean you owe him any thing. move on.

Answer 11

Getting a gun pushed into your chest just because he was angry does not justify his actions. Just move out. Because he is abusive, get a restraining order. You are NOT responsible for him and his place of residence. If he has a past bill, that was HIS responsibility. Get out and move on. You are old enough (and obviously smart enough) to get out on your own. You are responsible for you at this point in your life. You deserve a little stability and happiness in your life.