I'm terribly depressed. I have the most dysfunctional family, and am stuck at home with my mom all day. Help?

Question

I'm only 17 years old, but sometimes I feel like both my childhood and teen years have been robbed from me due to the dysfunction of my family. It's now summer vacation, normal families go on vacation together right? Not mine. All my parents do is fight every day, and i'm stuck at home all day counting down till I can finally go back to school and away from home. Both my parents disgust me, my dad's just completely undescribable and my mom molested my brother who now moved to the states and is a complete stranger to me. My mom's so fake, she pretends she's such a good Muslim and uses religion to cover the mistakes she's made in life. She forces me to wear a scarf and I hate it, I just want to be free to be myself and do the things I want to do. I hate living here, it's a living hell and if I had somewhere to go, I wouldn't live here for one more minute. The verbal and emotional abuse is unberarable, it's traumatizing. I just need support from you guys please, thank you so much. ='(

Answer 1

All I can say is get out as fast as you can! Don't stay there any longer. They will destroy you. Find a relative or a friend and stay there...You need to find a job so you can get out! Try to find out where your brother is and go be with him. Tell him of your situation and that you can't stand it any longer. Ask for his help! I'm sure he'll understand and help you.

Answer 2

Sounds like you need some "time out" the way I see it there might be one of 2 things that you might do.....1). Go out and find yourself a job of some sort for the summer so you can have something to do that will give you both some time to yourself and a little extra money in your pockets to be able to (maybe) help out a little with the family finances and /or to put aside some so you can afford to get you an apartment or some other type of living arrangement when you turn 18. or 2). Go to a judge and ask to be "divorced" from your family....basically ask to be declared capable of living on your own and caring for yourself.
I know that number 2 may sound kind of harsh but I've heard of it being done.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry, I got goose bumps reading your story! I know how your feeling I delt with a mentally ill mom for 21 years. I don't speak with her and haven't for 3 years. My oldest sister still does though, so some of it still gets dumped on me. My sisters and I were physically and mentally abused by her all my life. I to was robbed of my childhood and teenage years. I grew up with depression, and a low self esteem. I can sit here and tell you stories that would fill up your page!! As long as I can remember she thought she could hear god and the devil. Everytime I'd have a date she tell me her "rape story", and it would change with the type of race I was dating at the time. She would try and keep me from my friends. I can go on forever! It was bad enough with her, my dad would physically abuse all the time as well. Now my parents doing nothing but fight. My now husband saw one of her freak out sessions and we moved 2000 miles away. I haven't spoken to her in 2 years, and I feel a lot better. I've been going to therapy for almost 2 years, and that is the major thing that has helped me. Until you have somewhere to go, I'm sorry I don't have any advice. Maybe try and find your brother and move in with him. It's only going to get worse, and you can't start to heal until your away from all of that. I'm so sorry to hear people that have family issues like this. All that I can say is you have a choice and it will get better!! Just keep your head up!! I wish you all the luck, and best wishes!!

Answer 4

I would adopt you if I could!!! I am so sorry to hear of your difficult situation. Will your parents let you get a job? At least that way you'd get out of the house and earn a little money for yourself. I hope that you are applying to colleges seeing as your almost 18. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get an education and move on. Hang in there!!!

Answer 5

Yeah, I've had some Muslim friends in college who had similar issues, and I understand how bad it can get, especially for girls in your position.
I think, if you cannot get out of your house enough to be happy, you need to bring the happiness to you. You need something to anchor you in life, to keep you strong enough before you are able to go out. The immediate thing that comes to mind is some form of expression which cannot be prevented by your parents. Have you tried writing your impressions in a journal? If you have a constant online access, there are writing sites to which you select your own password. If you like music, headphones are cheap, and you will be able to listen to music that express your feelings best without fear. I can see your feelings coming through your words so I would say writing is almost certainly your thing, and I do usually recognize this particular talent. It is a source of powerful emotions for me, I can stay happy no matter what, when I consider a non fiction article, a fictional character or setting. Nothing compares to that feeling, and you can do it in your own head, without even putting it into writimg. They will never know. It is the best emotional protection I can think of. If you express your feelings well, you will be able to keep your inner core safe throughout the troublesome years. So, start writing something, doesn't matter what, whatever you are drawn to or good at.
Also, you can learn lots of psychology in a dysfunctional family. So, if you ever consider this carreer, you will at least know you haven't suffered for nothing, as you will be able to help others by applying the valuable lessons you have learned in this life. Also, psychology is another form of narrative, writing is a useful skill you can apply for its sake.
So, this is my belief. You can make yourself happier by writing something, in secret, for yourself. Hope that helps any. Good luck.

Answer 6

Will you be going to college? If so, you might want to look into going away to school. Eventually, you will be out of the house, but I know it's hard to endure the abuse you're dealing with now.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 7

I am not a Muslim, but I would not recommend to 'get out on your own as soon as you can'. As a Muslim you may be more aware of the consequences than I am.

But you can think for yourself and discover that freedom is as much in the mind as physically.

Be grateful for what you have. Forgiveness and Gratitude are both very powerful. And they are for your benefit.

And if you wish to investigate the power of thinking you may want to read my articles at
http://themeaningisyou.com
They are free.

Answer 8

i know this can be tough, but u have to keep in mind u only have one more year or less unitll u r an adult and wont have to live with ur parents anymore. are u able to seek therapy or counseling? this scan help a lot. it can give u someone to vent to and might be able to help ur family situation. keep in mind u r not alone. if u need someone to talk to message me. i have been in ur shoes before, i hope u can get through this. i am here for if u want

Answer 9

I feel so bad for you! You are almost 18 and you can get the hell out of that environment soon!
Do well in school and go to college so you can support yourself!

Answer 10

Everyone has given some good advice.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. finish this year of school and see if your brother won't sponsor you to immigrate to the states so you can have a life away from them.

God Speed....