My kid is NAUGHTY...what can I do when all else has failed?

Question

She is just about to turn 4 and I feel so bad because I have sat here and given advice to other parents and here I am asking for it now myself. Within the last few months, my daughter has just become the biggest little snot ever! I am due to have my baby in a week but I don't really think that has much to do with her attitude problem..she is very sweet and loving in that department, even carries around a doll that she named after the baby on the way. But here is a list of her behavioral problems:
Whining to the extreme. I've heard kids whining before but she wines about EVERYTHING and I've never been the type to give in to it.
The "little miss thang" attitude. We can be in the store and I will tell her to settle down a bit because she's getting out of hand and she will straight up tell me, "No you settle down." She mostly only does this in public though, not so much at home.
Blatent disregard for the rules. She will pick up her toys and help out when I ask but when it comes (continued)

to the rules that have been set, she completely disobeys. Like for example, I tell her not to lock her cat up in her room with her, and what do I find every morning? The cat is locked in her room and has went potty on the floor.
I try to give great praise for the good things she does and it's hard to have this kid who is just unbelievable awesome in some aspects and then just terrible in some. It's hard to keep the balance and I'm tired of the battles. It's so embarrassing when we go places when she's so disrespectful to me. I enforce time outs, taking priveledges away and taking toys away. But the last few months have been hell trying to get to the bottom of this. Any suggestions? I'm so scared about having two kids when I can't even get the first one under wraps. What am I doing wrong here? I feel like I'm failing!

Answer 1

When all else has failed, it's time for a spanking. Remain calm, take her to a privet room, have a quick talk, plop her over your lap, lower the panties, and spank her bottom (at least 1 swat per year, we usually do 2). Then give her a quick hug, and leave the room until she stops crying (yes, real spankings produce real tears). Afterwords you need to have a long talk as to why she got a spanking, why what she did was wrong, and how to not get a spanking for that again. Then make her apologies, for what she has done. Give her lots of hugs, and kisses, tell her you love her, and how she is "to special to be allowed to act this way".

Just a few things I've learned in my journey through parent hood

Good Luck

Answer 2

Sorry I can't get up the continued part. Don't worry about asking advise - that is what we are here for. I really think it does have everything to do with the new arrival on the way - she sees you are focusing your attention elsewhere and this will be worse for a while after the birth. Can your husband give her some special attention for now while you concentrate and readying yourself for a new born? The fact that she thinks she can get away with bad behaviour in public shows you that she is testing you out - tell her you will take her home if she dares to start whining in the store and remove her straight away - there is no discussion!

Answer 3

I disagree. I think this attitude has EVERYTHING to do with baby.

If it were me, I'd get into counseling, though this is a rough time to start that. How are you disciplining her? I know it's hard to discipline anybody when you are ready to have another. Are you being consistent?

I don't know what your husband's job is like, but when my kids are out of hand (one is autistic) and I can't handle it anymore (I have a chronic illness myself) I call Daddy. Daddy speaks to the child or comes home to deal with it.

Of course, we started with a warning, the time-out chair, losing privileges like TV programs, etc. or candy. If that didn't work, Daddy would ask, "Do you want to play the cry & scream game?" They'd scramble to get their chores finished or be treated to a version of Sargent Sam--up close and loud. We only paddled if it was a security issue--the kid ran out in front of a car.

You probably have a similar system all your own. But at this time it sure would be good if someone was on call to take her off of your hands for a few hours every day.

I hope you have a gracious birth to a healthy child!

Debbie
TX Mom
Not a medical practitinoer

Answer 4

Well you said that all else has failed. What do you mean by "all else"? Have you put her in time out? have you spanked her? ok, I just read the additional details. you say you take her toys away. I'm sorry but that's not very strict at all. I suggest you give her a slap on the hand or bottom. My 4 siblings and I were raised to obey every word my parents said or we would get the belt from my father or a slap from my mother. I'm sure I don't have to tell you we were all very respectful and obedient. when we went to the store, our mom would tell us once right before we went in "don't touch anything or make a scene or I will spank you". well we would follow her around quietly for hours not bothering her once, but finding ways to entertain ourselves( I had a coloring book). why did we behave? because if we didn't, our mom would spank us in front of god and everyone in that store and she wasn't embarrased one bit. she said that she was going to make sure her kids grew up to listen to her and she didn't care what anyone in that store thought of her.

Answer 5

Wow.... she is naughty!!
It could be for a number of reasons.... for example, it could be because she might be a little spoiled, do you give her everything she wants? You have to say no sometimes.
What my parents did was when I had a fit, and they knew I wasn't sick or anything, They just left the room while I was having a tantrum and That way i knew that just because I was being rotten didn't mean I was going to get my way. Then when I was done we talked about why I was crying.
When I got older my Mom told me they were sittting in the hall crying after all that. So its hard, but you will get through it.
GOOD LUCK
GOD BLESS
Emily

Answer 6

okay from one mom with a now soon to be 5 year old to the next mom ...I now have a 6 month old daughter...but when I was pregnant with her my oldest tried everyway she could to get into trouble it seemed, So don't kid yourself there..I tried to say the same about mine>>"but I don't really think that has much to do with her attitude problem.."<< IT HAD EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE NEW BABY!!! After the baby was born my oldest started wetting the bed again too. It was very rough for me. I even had to put her on nighttime diapers ...That only lasted a lil while. But be consistent with your punishments and such..or she will walk all over you..

Answer 7

You could spank, coupled with a loss of privilege. Before you go out with her into a situation where she's likely to lose it, tell her what'll happen if she misbehaves (you could count to 3 to give her a chance to fix it).Follow through. If she whines, tell her you won't listen to that tone. If she acts up in the store, be prepared to take her out. Timeouts don't work with every kid, nor does spanking; discipline should be tailored to the kid. Check out what Dr. John Rosemond says:
Children have the right to learn early in their lives that obedience to legitimate authority is not optional, that there are consequences for disobedience, and that said consequences are memorable and, therefore, persuasive.

Answer 8

Toys are no big deal, taking them away doesn't really affect kids, they can always find something to play with.
sounds like she's copying you and picking up your attitude. maybe let her know that its difficult for others to shop if she's making a racket. then take her home and hold her close and look in he eyes and tell her how disappointed you are in her. Hold her till she says she's sorry. Even if its two hours later. Maybe tell her your true feeling, you don't want to have another child if they act like she's been acting.
sounds awful for a little kid to hear, but maybe its time to start talking to her like a older child.

Answer 9

I can tell you this much. A child who acts up in public does it because she or he knows you won't do anything about it except speak harshly.

You need to set boundaries and you need to stick to them. You need to mete out an appropriate punishment. Spanking is not brutal. Beating is, yanking the arm is, shaking is.

Unless she knows of other families with sibling children, she really has no concept what a new baby actually means.

Answer 10

Despite what you say, it sounds like it could be due to the impending arrival. She seems to be seeking attention and maybe feels that once the new baby is born she will be left out. You need to sit her down and tell her that just because there's going to be someone else in the family it doesn't mean you love her any less.