I was just given a wedding shower on my mom's side and my hosts invited someone that my Mom did not intend on inviting to the wedding. They did not go over the list with me as to who they were inviting. Does that mean that I now have to invite this person to the wedding too?
2007-07-25 11:26:07 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is tough and I can say that I know how you feel. Where I am from showers are surprises so I had no say on who was invited, my MIL took it upon herself to pad the list with about 15 women who were not invited to my wedding. These women were so generous and I felt very embarrassed, but no I didnt invite them to the wedding, they were not on my list. To this day I dont know if my MIL didnt know any better or was trying to get me to invite these women, but I had to put my feelings of embarrassment aside and go through with the wedding that I had planned and hope that the faux pas of inviting them to the shower reflected poorly, not on me, but on my MIL. Just write a really, really gracious thank you note and move on.
2007-07-25 11:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you do not.
People should realize that the host does not always know who is invited to the wedding and just invites people to the shower. If you want to add this person feel free to do so, but it is not a requirement.
2007-07-26 03:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you probably do (unless maybe she doesn't come to the bridal shower..?). Talk to your mom though and make sure that she doesn't host any further events, or tell people they are invited to the wedding without talking to you first. It might help to give her and your in-laws (just in case they're already planning the rehearsal dinner invites) a copy of your proposed guest list. They may want to make changes...
We gave our parents a certain number of places each and once those were reached, we considered others on a case by case basis. We were having 100 guests max (all we could fit in our venue) and when we originally asked the parents for a list of the people they wanted to invite, my MIL came up with 80 something names.... After discussion though, they realised and it all worked out well. Best thing to do is talk to both sides ASAP and make sure they understand who you plan on inviting and who you don't.
2007-07-25 11:39:06 · answer #3 · answered by txbrit 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh my... well recently my cousin threw a wedding shower for this girl I use to talk to and I knew she was getting married because she invited my cousin, aunt, and grandma my mom and I did not get an invite anyway we chose not to go because that would have been very akward to shop up to the shower knowing that we didnt get invited to the wedding.. I think that person knew but decided to go anyway and if you dont want someone at your wedding you dont have to invite them...
2007-07-25 11:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by ABC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the etiquette says that no one in the family is suppose to host it, but I have yet to go to a shower where someone in the family wasn't at least co-hosting the shower, so I wouldn't worry about it. As far as the invites, since it is family hosting, then maybe just invite family (from both sides), plus the bridesmaids, of course. The only huge etiquette faux pax is to invite people who are not invited to the wedding. Other than that, invite whomever you want. Have fun and enjoy your shower.
2016-05-18 04:16:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you do not have to invite this person to the wedding. Your hosts did not go over the guest list for the shower with you or your mother, so you are under no obligation.
2007-07-25 11:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes, you should invite her to the wedding. She gave you a shower gift, right? That would be rude not to invite her to the wedding.
2007-07-25 11:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by drruth 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think it's poor etiquette to invite someone to the shower but not the wedding.
2007-07-25 12:02:21 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry you should invite her. Or you could cal lher and thank her for coming and tell her that you are sorry but the budget doesnt allow for an invitation but you would like to invite her over for a peice of cake and to see picture. That's if you are close if not, Call with apologies.
2007-07-25 17:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by rxing 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, is the wedding small and quaint with only a few close friends and family there? If so, you can explain this to your guest. Traditionally, the engagement parties, showers and receptions do not have to the same guests.
2007-07-25 11:36:39 · answer #10 · answered by brassinpocket 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋