How can i keep my boyfriend off the drink?

Question

6 months ago i gave my boyfriend an ultimatum of givin up alcohol (after many nasty nights with him drunk and stupid, final straw insultin my mum & rest of my family at a party!) or losing me & our 2yr old son he chose us but is now saying he misses drink too much & is gona start again even if i walk out on him what can i do to keep his mind off it? I need a cheap hobby for the 3 of us? Thanks xxx

Answer 1

Follow through on your threat. If he really cares about losing you, that will be his "rock bottom" and he will stop drinking and start making different choices.

Answer 2

I'm dealing with this same issue with my husband and we also have a 2 yea old. We have started going to the movies more, going to church, the bookstore, bringing our daughter to the park or the museum, doing projects around the house, bowling, shopping...Its really tough to find things to do when you're so used to drinking, but its worth the effort. We are so much happier as a family now that alcohol is no longer included. Last night my husband was grilling some steaks in the back yard for dinner and he really wanted a beer. I went and picked up some Odules non-alcoholic beer for him and it was all good. Keep trying and if he starts drinking again leave him and don't go back unless he gets professional help. Counseling wouldn't be a bad idea fr the both of you now tho.

Answer 3

You need help and support to keep you strong. It is not your responsibility to keep your boyfriend off the drink (of course you care) it is his duty to take responsibility for his own actions. You are a mother and need to put your child first! And it will be the child who suffers if he grows up witnessing the devastation and destruction a heavy drinker can cause within a family.
Perhaps your boyfriend could see the family Doctor and or counsellor to find out WHY he drinks or feels the need to drink?
NLP is very good for self discovery and even to uncover reasons that have been suppressed or forgotten.
The bottom line is though.... you can't help anyone who does not admit to a problem or who does not wish to be helped.
You must not become the focus of his frustration or drunken behaviour, you are not HIS mother.
Have to tell it to you as clearly and honestly as possible because it is important that you understand how miserable you and your son will be if your boyfriend is allowed to return to drink and abusive behaviour.
I hope you encourage him to get assistance to discover the underlying cause of his problems and i wish you luck and happiness for your future.
Angel.

Answer 4

If he misses it so much there is nothing you can do to make him not do it. Sounds like he might have a problem with alcoholism. Sit down and talk to him and ask him if he thinks it is really worth it to lose you and his child just for a buzz. If he says he wants the buzz more, then hopefully someday he will seek help for his problem. I would suggest counseling for you both. Good luck with everything and I hope he makes the right decision.

Answer 5

YOU can't keep anyone from drinking except yourself. He must be responsible for his decisions. You need to face the "fact" that he'd rather have the booze than you. It's not at all pleasant to realize that an SO would rather keep their dysfunctional behavior than you. My advice from knowing a little (a LOT) about that is to do what you need to do to protect your son and, most importantly, you. If you haven't, Al Anon is an excellent resource.

Answer 6

cinema,walks,dvd nights in with treats,go to thwe pub and drink soft drinks to show him he can still get out ,maybe he needs a few aa meetings,trust me my husband thnak god doesn't have a taste really for drink but when he got drunk he was a totally different person nasty and mean and very aggressive now he knows his limits maybe your b/f can have few but as long as knows what hes like when hes pissed my husband seen the truth after i got the camcorder out and filmed him and showed him next day he had no idea the way he was and had thought i'd always made it up.

Answer 7

Stick by what you said. You cannot live like this, and it will be a terrible waste of a childhood for your son. He is a grown man for goodness sake, and if he cannot realise his priorities by now, you will have nothing but misery trying to change his ways.

It is far better for a child to have one responsible parent giving a sense of security, than both when one is having you living with tension of what is going to happen next.

Answer 8

if ur hubby doesnt realise that ur child is the best thing that has ever happened to him then give him a culter shock! get him out,tell him to leave, remind him on everything he'll be missing out on ur child growing up for starters.. u gotta tell him how it is. does he want his child growin up knowin that his daddy is on the drink all the time.
get him to take ur son to the park for picnics take him swimming go on long drives. he can never drink n drive!
and if that doesnt work..then he isnt worth it sweetie. his child and wife should be his world not drink.. i take it he said no to rehab? or tell him to go the gym its good exercise for him..
good luck sweetie..xx

Answer 9

You can't. He needs to make the decision for himself.

I hope you can be strong enough to live up to your ultimatum and do what's right for you and your son.

Answer 10

If you let him stay what about your son???Its not just you!!!! in the end you will be doing your boyfriend a favour if you tell him to go.The old saying "Be cruel to be kind"Be strong for your son.Good luck