Lazy 7 year old?

Question

I am at my wits end! My daughter is incredibly lazy. EVERY DAY I have to remind her to brush her teeth, pick up her stuff, etc. I limited TV, did rewards and punishments, even chores. I enrolled her in swimming and karate classes, because I thought she was bored. She is the worst one in class, not giving her all, or even close to half. I'm not being mean by saying she is the worst, but it is because she does'nt even try. The only time she does show some enthusiasm is when I blow up, and I HATE getting mad at her. Am I too hard on her, or too easy? She is a very sweet and loving girl, but if she had it her way, she would watch TV all day.

Answer 1

maybe she doesn't like swimming or karate classes. How about dancing, drama class or painting?

Talk to her. Find out what she likes, like:
what's her favorite shows on televison.
What would she rather do if she weren't watching television.
You can find out about her favorite shows (from internet)/or watch the shows with her and even talk to her about them. She can even learn lessons about friendship, responsibility from shows like Spongbob. If you see some characters doing things you want her to do, you can use them as examples when talking to her.

Do activities together. Bring her to the zoo, to the park to cycle or rollerblade. (find out whether she likes them first)

Find pictures of rotting/ugly teeth from the internet. Tell her these are the results of infrequent brushing of teeth. You can buy posters of her fav. cartoon characters brushing teeth or her favorite young Disney idols smiling to remind her the importance of having a nice set of teeth.

As for cleaning her room, make it convenient for her to do so, like having baskets/toy bins. You could also make cleaning her room fun, like a game. (For example, both of you can each take one toy bin and tell her the first one to fill up the bin wins.)

She probably likes watching TV because it's easy and convenient.

Make other chores convenient for her to do. Like if you want her to study, have a large study-table and good lighting, and away from other distractions.

Answer 2

Have there been any changes in her life? Does she have a father figure(if you're married I apologize...it said nothing about a dad in the question)? Have you taken her to the dr to see if she has a thyroid problem? Laziness could be a sign of some type of illness. Does she complain about being sick? Does she have any friends to play with outside of "classes". And if she's not participating in those classes, get her out. Don't spend your money if she's not benefiting from it. Ask her if she wants to do anything. Does she want to play soccer or softball or tennis or do dance classes, etc? How does she do when school is in? If there has been a change in her lifestyle, she could just be depressed. That does happen at any age. Think if you can figure something out that would make her regress and if you can't figure anything out, take her to the dr and tell him whats going on and that you want her thyroid checked. Good luck.

Answer 3

Check with her docter, maybe there is something wrong with her. Talk to her, ask her if there is anything bothering her that she'd like to talk about! For school, you could call a tutor or a private tutor to help her with school. Give her a list tell her, do all these things today and at the end of the day we can watch a movie together, go ride our bikes, i'll bring you to the park, etc. Since you think she is lazy suggest something that involves a lot of moment. Maybe she is tired from the other activites that you make her do. Well do you know if she wants to do those activites? Ask her if she wants to do any activities or sports, suggest some idea to her too. Maybe she is bored, you could invite a friend over for her to study together and do homework! Make the boring things in life that we all know we don't like doing fun! She may even start to enjoy the tasks she has to do! Who knows!

Answer 4

Your daughter is looking for you to blow, and is getting enjoyment from that fact. I would do what my parents do to my 8 yr old sister. Set her a weekly allowance of about $10. Set up a contract with her. Tidy room, teeth brushed etc. Set her TV allowance, like, 7 hours. . Explain that this is for the week, and she can only have 1 hour at a time max, with an hour's break in between, n matter how long she watched it for. Explain that if she goes over it, she will have allowance taken away. Tell her that if she really goes over it, she will have hlf the time for next week, and so on, until she ends up with none. Then, each day, check up. Has she brushed her teeth? No? $1 off. Has she tidied her room? No? ask her to. If she doesn't do it by the next day, $3 off. Give her chores to complete each day, and if she does more, then give her extra money, reward her. Keep a note of what she has and hasn't done and how much she has lost. At the end of the week, sit her down, and go through it with her. Give her the money, and tell her if the rules have changed any for next week, depending on this weeks behaviour. Don't go overboard however,and really restrict her, as she will just rebel.

Hope this helps.

Answer 5

Try going out and doing physical activities with her such as riding bikes, swimming, playing ball, gardening, bowling, mini golf, even walking...you'll enjoy it too. I assume you're quite busy, but even for 15 minutes each day will help. Or ask her if there's a sport/activity she would be more interested in. I'm sure if she finds one she enjoys she will put more effort into it.

As far as brushing her teeth, chores, etc, she's not alone. Many 7 years olds are like that. She'll grow out of it. Just continue to enforce responsibility and eventually she'll learn what's expected of her; and don't give rewards. Verbal rewards are fine to show appreciation, but tangible rewards will just turn into bribes. She needs to understand responsibility. Being rewarded will only make her lazier because she will eventually just decide she doesn't want the reward so she won't do the chore. Or eventually you will run out of rewards/incentives to give her.

With enough persistence she will learn what's expected of her regardless.

Good luck! and hang in there...parenting is difficult :)

Answer 6

He does need firm discipline. But don't tell him one thing and do another. And it's terrible that you think you have to answer any q's concerning your money matters. If he's starting at this age to think it's any of his business, think of what it'll be like when he becomes a teenager. Assert yourself as the parent, warn him he's going to be punished if he doesn't follow your rules. And if he chooses not to behave, take away his games until he learns how to turn lites off, turn the water off, dress himself. That's certainly not too much to ask. Just warn him that it's going to happen. I'm sure he won't be happy, but who's the Mom here? He's controlling you. And warn him that if he calls his sister names, he will be punished. Give him a time-out or take away t.v. or anything else that means something to him.

Answer 7

The role of a parent is to take control, so you should enroll yourself in swimming classes with her or karate, do a daughter/ mother thing, but dont give up on her. It's ok to be hard on your kids sometimes otherwise how would they ever learn but you also have to remember she is still quite young and still learning, its up to you to help her. Another thing is maybe she's not motivated because of something that could have happened to her. I think you should talk to her to see whats up. Just talk, get to her eye level and see if anything is holding her back from being motivated. hope this helps

Answer 8

I think you're trying too hard. Getting mad (or "even") doesn't usually work -anyway on ANY kid. Explain to her that we ALL have things we MUST DO- and that she's responsible for HER share. Tell her there'll be NO TV (Computer, Phone,Music, going outside, etc..), until she's finished what needs to be done... Maybe you can "Bore her- into doing her chores. Save your breath & emotions...-& let her sit like a "bump on a log...", until she feels like DOING something- to get what she wants... Good luck!

Answer 9

Cut out ALL TV, computer time (Unless it's for school), limit visits/phone calls from friends, no DVD player, etc. Tell her the only time she can listen to music is while she is cleaning. Sit her down and tell her how unhealthy it is to just sit in front of the TV. Explain how people become obese by not being active and that can lead to diabetes, and giving injections. Tell her that you love her and are worried about her health.

Answer 10

Okay, take her some where . where you have to spend the day together outside in the fresh air , no Tv, no , video games , just a day outside, and while your talking to her, maybe swinging on swings with her observe how she reacts, Swimming and Karate , are a poor substitute for being involved yourself. You need to get a handle on what gets her out of her bored state.