Keep the baby or no??????????????????

Question

So I found out I was pregnant about 3 days ago. Im only 18 and was with my bf 4 years. (we broke up b4 i found out). I have so much ahead of me in my future!! Im moving to Paris in sept. for school and he is also going to college. We dont want to be together. I dont no what to do. I dont no how i could ever tell my parents!!! And i want to go to Paris sooooo bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... My bf wants me to have an abortion and i am prob 50/50 on the idea. I dont no what to do. Please tell me what u all think!!!! ONLY NICE ANSWERS NO RUDE ONES!! THANKYOU!!


sorry i posted this in dating im trying to get many diff opinions.

adoption is not an option for me!! If i ended up keeping the baby for 9 months i couldnt just give him/her up.

Answer 1

man this is a tough, since you seem to have a bright future and dont want to hold it back on the kid, than id get an abortion.

Answer 2

First of all- a baby is the most exciting thing in the world=alot of work and good care but its all worth it. If you don't want to
marry and may want to keep the baby=talk to your parents. I have
3 sons 2 married 1 single and if they told me their girlfriend
was expecting before they were married but the girl wanted an abortion I would say we will help please no abortion. You are talking about a little sweet human being, Maybe your parents would help, there are so
many good people who want to adopt who can't have their own child. Let them have the baby. Then you could go on with
your life. I know this must be hard for you, you are very very
young and probably no life experiences-if your parents are
good people they will help you do whatever is right. I now have 6 beautiful grandchildren and feel so blessed. My
heart goes out to you I do hope you think before & talk to
your parents-even a sister or brother might have some good
ideas. Whatever you decide will be what you feel is best..

Answer 3

Your first mistake was having unprotected sexual intercourse if you two couldn't support raising a child.

Your second mistake is asking all of us what you should do. YOU are the only one who knows what is best for you. You are 18, and are old enough to make your own decisions without your parents' consent; you don't need ours either.

I'd strongly consider abortion. You didn't say how far along you are, so I'm assuming that you haven't yet been to a doctor to discuss options. If it's still legal (and you'd better hurry up on that), that might be an option.

You feel alone in this, for whatever reason. You can't even tell your parents, so I don't see you going to them for much help if you do decide to keep the child. If so, then you will be alone, which is not a good environment for raising a child.

Answer 4

I would really strongly caution you against having an abortion. It often sounds like an easy way out, but abortions are painful, not just a quick easy fix, and women who have abortions often regret it later. I've heard so many women say that they have dreams about what the baby would've been like. They think, afterwards, about how the baby was a piece of them and their significant other, and what a wonderful little miracle it could've been. The fear of telling your parents you're pregnant, and the process of having the baby (yes, even labor) is nothing compared to the physical and emotional pain of having an abortion. Also, labor pain lasts a few weeks. Abortion regret lasts for a lifetime.
You say that adoption isn't an option because you couldn't possibly give up the baby after carrying it for 9 months. There are ways around this: You can tell the doctors not to let you see the baby. You can tell the adoption agency that you want to stay in touch with your child and their adopted family, and still be a part of their lives. You don't have to say hello if you don't want. And you don't have to say goodbye if you don't want. But really, there are so many women out there who are unable to have children. I bet an adoption agency, the hospital, or a private fertility doctor could put you in contact with families who would like to adopt your baby. With this option, you basically get to make sure your baby goes to a good family.
Then there's the option of keeping it. You have created another life, and are now responsible for it's future (however long or short you decide for it to be). You may want to talk to your parents about it. If you tell them about it gently and maturely, chances are, they will want to help you figure out the best solution for you. Whatever you decide, good luck...

Answer 5

I was in the same situation. I just turned 20, and I had a similar bright future ahead of me.... Let me say this......

You will indeed, lose your paris chance if you have the baby.

BUT

Your parents will not be angry. Trust me. Especially your mom.

If you do keep the baby, you will be so glad you did. Every time you look in its little eyes, and think about what you almost did, you will want to cry; that is how intensly you can love this little one. This baby will be the ONLY one that will ALWAYS be there and except you... The love that I feel from my baby now, can never be duplicated or replaced..... I almost made the biggest mistake, and I thank god every day that I didnt. I think we may be a lot a like....email me if you want. [e-mail]

Answer 6

I hope this doesn't come off as rude because I don't mean for it to be. But why have sex when the possibility of getting pregnant is always there? Why have sex without thinking about the consequences? But since it has already happened, my opinion would be to keep it. I don't agree with abortion. I don't think abortion should be used if people aren't prepared for what could happen because of their consequences. Unless you are going to die if you keep the baby then I can understand why abortion would be best.

But since you are 50/50 on the idea of abortion than that also means you want to keep the baby. You keep talking about YOUR future, well what about YOUR BABY'S FUTURE? So the baby is only a few days old in your belly that doesn't mean he/she doesn't have a future either. In some ways I think you have already made your decision because you don't refer to your baby. It's just I'm pregnant you say, you say nothing about the baby, so it seems that they baby itself, isn't really a baby and is nothing. That might seem mean but read over your question.

If you do get the abortion and not tell anyone except your ex, do you think you could live with that secret? And if your parents should find out about it 10+ years in the future, do you think you could live with their reactions? If they love you they will support you in anything you decide, but you should let them know what is going on. Because if you do decide to keep your baby, your family will be your biggest support.

But before you do anything, remember this. It is not just you anymore. So Stop thinking about yourself and think of you AND the baby. There's two of you now.

Answer 7

I know that you're trying to get EVERYONE'S opinion but I think you're just looking for the answer you want. You say you cant keep it or give it up for adoption, so that only leaves one option. Again, it's totally up to you- not your parents or ex-bf. Decide on your own and pray about it just dont do anything that you'll regret... Also, you did have sex and you did know the consequences when you made that decision. In my eyes abortion is considered murder even though it's just an egg- it develops rapidly. So, think about it.. Stop thinking so negative of how the child will affect your life and think of how you can raise a wonderful child. Start thinking positive thoughts of how maybe one day you can give your child a future.

Answer 8

Oh wow hun, I feel your pain. I thought I was pregnant not too long ago and I'm in school and finally got my life halfway normal so I freaked out. I ran the same options in my head even though my whole life I've been raised to believe that every baby is a gift from god and not to have an abortion. I felt like a real hypocrite and whenever I thought of abortion I kept feeling like it would haunt me for the rest of my life. I literally felt like I would be killing something, well, part of me. I think you should talk to a professional counselor about this, there are lots that help to educate women in your situation because there will be alot of post abortion consequenses to deal with. If I were forced to choose, I would have the baby. I'm sorry I'm not more of a help, good luck!

Answer 9

whatever you do dont have an abortion. this child didnt choose to be so why would you kill it. i know you said that adoption isnt an option but i really think that you should consider it before abortion. take some time and look up pictures of what an aborted baby looks like and there is no way you would still have the heart to kill an innocent little thing. a baby is a wonderful thing and will change your life. I know I just had my daughter. She means the world to me. Eventhough i wasnt ready I kept her and I have no regrets. Its hard sometimes but once I see her smile my heart melts.
Please just rethink abortion. It is a terrible thing. Maybe consider letting your parents keep the baby if they would be open to that. I know there are thousands of wonderful families that would love to adopt a newborn and would take very good care of it. Do some research. There are even ways that you can still have contact with your baby if you give it up for adoption.

Answer 10

I know you're confused right now, but you'd be even more confused and distraught if you chose to murder your baby.
think about it, your baby is innocent. he or she didn't ask to be here. that baby is in your tummy because of choices that you and your ex-boyfriend made. and if you're adult enough to be having sex, you're old enough to take responsibility for that little life growing inside of you.
and don't let your ex pressure you into killing that sweet, precious baby. he's not the one who is carrying that child, so he doesn't know how you feel at all.
and don't feel that having a baby will ruin your plans, because it won't. you may have to rearrange some things for a little while, but that's no big deal.
my best friend is pregnant right now, and it came as a total surprise to her. but she's definately keeping her baby. and I'm so prould of her for making the right decision.
she thought about abortion for a few days, and then realized that she couldn't live with herself if she killed her own child.
some of her plans are on hold until after the baby is born. but that's okay. her plans will still be there after her baby is born.
and yours will too.
she just recently had her first ultrasound, and the baby is perfect. he or she had their back turned, so the doctor couldn't say whether she's having a boy or girl. but that doesn't matter. you can see the baby's little body, and when it turned over you could see two little arms and two little legs with perfect little fingers and toes. and it's so amazing to hear the baby's heartbeat.
you don't want to destroy your life by taking your baby's life.
no matter where you go or what you decide to do with your life, when you have an abortion it haunts you for the rest of your life. you can't get away from the pain, the shame, the guilt or regret that comes. you would always wonder if you killed a little boy or a little girl. you'd always wonder what that child would have looked like, how old it would be, who it would have grown up to be, and the pain that you could have avoided if you'd only chose to let your child live.
please don't kill your baby. I haven't met one person who has had an abortion who was satisfied with the decision that they made. like I said, it's something that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
your baby loves you. please love your baby enough to give it the chance to be born and have a life.
God bless you, and your baby.

Answer 11

well it depends on where you stand on it morally. you wouldn't be the first to get one. and personally if you can't take care of a baby wh ywould you want to bring it into the world. people make mistakes you could always look into adoption. keeping it might be more difficult but look at it this way it's not murder. It really depends on your beliefs. if you don't see anything wrong then get it but if you do don't. you don't have to keep it and abortion gives the baby a better life, but then you have think about if it gets a bad family. what if you get an abortion and you find out later when you're ready to have a family you can't have kids. just whatever you do do it for you because no one else has to live with the burden of taking care of another person when you can hardly make it on your own. besides it's all confidential so no would know just you. just ask yourself could you live with the decision if you got an abortion.