Hi I want as many people as possible to reply to me..basically if you had a girlf who was white, pregnant and catholic and you were muslim and ur bro was having a wedding soon..would you invite your pregnant girlf along - be honest???? and even if she wasn't pregnant would you still invite her???? Thing is his dad actually loves me more than he bloody does..fact. Worst part about it..the dad invited me to the bro wedding today!..not even the dad of this baby wanted that..he said oh she too pregnant to travel etc. - well yes that is true so he is ok there - I did not mind that as I am too pregnant to travel but the fact of the matter is..he said even if I wasn't pregnant he still wouldn't have brought me along..and that was what became the issue..he said muslims don't advertise their girlfs at weddings..and told me to ask any muslim so my response was ok I will..I also said well muslims-yes they don't advertise the fact they have girlf unless they want her for their future - am I right?
2007-07-25 10:08:25 · 8 answers · asked by Babs 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
yes he is prob embarrassed to have gotten me pregnant etc..but his dad has been totally cool about it all..my issue was more well if I wasn't pregnant why not bring me..and he said you are lucky my family have even met you - I said I know dont worry..but that is not the point..the woman who you trully want would be let go even if you weren't married..he said you would stick out like a sore thumb as you would be the only white person there too..so why you getting upset..etc.I said cos I think you just give me excuse..any others agree?
2007-07-25 10:15:49 · update #1
Oh and one more thing..yes he prob ashamed to have gotten me pregnant etc..he says he doesn't care about that though when I raised the question.. I think what upset me more was if for instance I wasn't pregnant (and I only say that just to get your views)- he still wouldn't have taken me..is that really fair? okay so the elders frown upon it so to speak yet his dad who is older than him wanted that..so..I mean what is trully his problem? and even if he is in a denial over making a life etc. yeah he should be more responsible ..correct..anyway thanks to reply to me..anyone who does write
2007-07-25 10:26:25 · update #2
The brother of my boyf is getting married - hope that clears it up a bit..and yes being brushed aside is hurtful..yes a devout Muslim would not prob have a girlf etc. but just what I try to understand is why would the boyf father want me there at the wedding more than the boyf?
2007-07-25 22:01:28 · update #3
I'm confused, who is getting married? What kind of wedding is it? If it is a Muslim wedding I can understand his view point, but I agree that if he was a devout Muslim he would not be dating you in the first place. So if you were invited to the wedding I think it is your decision whether to accept or decline, not his.
It sounds like you might be upset for other reasons besides him not wanting you at the wedding. I would talk to him about how you feel because regardless of tradition and culture to be brushed aside can really hurt someones feelings. I also hope he is not treating you like this is other situations.
I hope things work out for you!
2007-07-25 14:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well by the way it sounds it doesn't matter if your catholic or not to beginSweetheart The father invited you so he would be considered one of the higher up ones you show respect to don't take that wrong all i mean is they are just like we are we show are mother and fathers respect and if he found it ok for you to attend I don't see why you wouldn't and if the morals and standards of their beliefs were so strick on this the father wouldn't have invited you. It is not my place to say but it also sounds like your somewhat disappointed in the amout of love that is given to you by the father of your child, And you should be experiencing TOGETHER AS TWO probably the most wounderful experience you two could share together i am divorced and my marriage wasn't the greatest but you know your not married it makes a difference but then it doesn't in a way its a piece of paper and its more if he loves you and only wants to spend the rest of his life with you if the intentions are their of a married couple which they should be he should be proud and should be marring you. But he sounds like he doesn't want you there and that would make me think he was ashamed of me because if it was the point that its a shameful thing to be present then he should not go either because he would be part of the act and maybe you got yourself into a touchy sistuation you don't sound happy at all.
2007-07-25 17:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by whitemagnolia105@yahoo.com 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's hard to say because a true Muslim wouldn't be dating a non-Muslim woman. If he did happen "date" a Muslim girl and she got pregnant, she'd be too ashamed to show up.
Muslin weddings are usually held in the home of the bride or groom's family. Your pregnancy would be view as an obscene scandal by many of the elders, and the Muslim who impregnated the girl would be looked down upon. His parents would be totally ashamed to have everyone know their Muslim son had knocked up a non-Muslim and was parading her around the wedding.
People have different cultures and not everyone is OK with this situation. I think you should be glad you're not going; you probably wouldn't be very well received if they are a traditional Muslim family.
Also- face the facts; you ARE pregnant, so why do you keep saying if I wasn't this would you do that?
2007-07-25 17:18:40 · answer #3 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think the issues he has are with you, I think he is more embarrassed that he has made you pregnant and you are not what he is expected to have been his partner. Whether he likes it or not he and his family are going to have an addition to their family and you are his partner. He should be proud that you are his partner and proud of the child that you have made together. Why should he hide you? The only reason is his shame. This is deeper than you think I'm afraid. If he's embarrassed now what will he be like when your child is born. Does that mean that other members of his family won't get to find out when you get married or when the baby is born.
Shame on him for not standing up to his responsibilities and shame on him for not accepting the life that he chose.
2007-07-25 17:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by JJ88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what happens when you have his child will you and your child still be unable to go to any of his family functions. And if that is the case why does he not marry you now and that way the child will be born in wedlock which should make you part of his "family" and able to attend any future functions. You either stay at the edge of his family like a mistress or you stand your ground and demand to go to any family functions.... IT'S UP TO YOU WHAT HAPPENS
2007-07-25 17:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by Robert M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's not supposed to have a pregnant girlfriend without marrying you anyway. So maybe he's embarassed about that.
2007-07-25 17:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Must be a different branch of the Catholic Church to mine.
2007-07-25 17:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
no comment
2007-07-25 20:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by Positive for All 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋