My best friends sister (who I used to know fairly well for a year or so in high school 10+ years ago) got married about a week ago, and my friend gave me his own verbal invitation saying that I'm welcome to go. I didn't get a written invitation and my friend didn't say "my sister would like you see you there" or anything so I decided not to go.
I've met the new husband a time or two and he seems like a good guy and I know him a little.
What is best to do in this situation? Should I just leave it alone and congratulate them when I see them or mail some kind of gift card?
I just wondered what best practice or common practice is.
Thanks!
2007-07-25 09:47:38 · 15 answers · asked by Mr. J 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Since you did not receive an invitation from them then just congratulate them the next time you see them. I wouldn't send anything since they didn't bother sending you an invitation.
2007-07-25 09:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You made the right choice. Your friend really had no place to invite you since it was his sister's wedding and not his. Also, since you didn't get an invitation mailed to you, you really aren't obligated to send a gift of any kind. If you would have gone, a gift should have been bought, but since you chose to stay home - you're fine. Congratulate the couple the next time you see them, but other that that you are in the clear.
2007-07-25 17:12:06 · answer #2 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Proper etiquette will dictate that you send a congratulatory card to the newly weds if you were invited. Sending a card without an invitation will still be recieved well. If you don't have their address feel free to tell them in person. The choice to not go to the wedding was a proper decision unless it was known to be a come one come all with no formal invitations. The rule of thumb is that you have 1 year to send a gift but a card in this case will be well received.
2007-07-25 16:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by Drew P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were right not to go to the wedding if you didn't receive an actual invitation.
Send them a card if you like - it would be a nice gesture on your part. Do not mention the verbal invitation or apologize for not being able to come.
2007-07-25 17:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I wouldn't feel obligated to the newlyweds as they didn't invite you personally either by written invitation or verbally. However, it would be very polite to make it a point to personally congratulate them the next time you see them. Perhaps say "So how are the newlyweds doing? I believe a congratulation is in order" and then congratulate them.
2007-07-25 16:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by Joy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you weren't invited to the wedding directly by either the bride or the groom, then I don't think you should feel obligated to give them a present. You weren't given the benefit of being invited to go and share in the wedding, they shouldn't benefit from your second-hand invite that they may not have even know you were invited. Just tell them Congrats.
2007-07-25 16:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by mcmillae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since the friend who asked you to go with him may not have shown you his invitation [where it says "self plus guest" in the RSVP card?] then you're right not to attend. Since you knew the bride yonks ago, settle for a Really Nice Card and get it in the mail eventually...no gift, and put all your full name after the "from" to cover the "used to know fairly well" aspects. As if! Your instincts in this matter are impeccable, BTW.
2007-07-25 16:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by constantreader 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh lord! If your friends sister ever found out that he did that she would flip out. You were right not to go, if you were invited you would have recieved an invitation in the mail, brides arent just fly by night lke that.
As for a gift, thats entrirely up to you, I wouldnt, but i probably would send a card of good wishes to them.
2007-07-25 16:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not obligated to send anything unless you wish to.
When I got married I was a bit embarrassed when someone declined to come to the celebration, but still sent a gift.
2007-07-25 16:54:15 · answer #9 · answered by kana121569 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone and congratulate them if/when you run into them soon. You weren't invited by them so don't send anything, you might make them feel bad about not inviting you.
2007-07-25 16:51:37 · answer #10 · answered by hplss.rmntc 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋