Pack Rat Mom,Should I Throw Out Her Junk?

Question

I am living with my mom right now and am going to be moving out next year.She keeps almost everything she has ever gotten,even things that are broken!I used to try to keep things neat but since my parents divorced and we moved to a smaller house her things are just taking up all the space and it is impossible to.The things she keeps she doesnt even use and when we moved we didnt have enough room to bring the couch,table or washer and dryer, because of all her junk.Relatives had to give us old furniture they didnt need anymore.She hasnt unpacked 80% of her things,never cleans,i've had enough!Should I just bear it till next year or start slowly ditching her junk.I dont want to leave her in this sad little dump but she gets really mad when i say anything about it,i can't reason with her about this.Also,i have no money for storage,no where else to store it here, and even if I had the money she would Never go to counseling for anything.So I'm thinking I should throw it out,what about you?

Answer 1

You need to speak with you mom, let her know how you feel, and broken stuff yes throw it away.

Tell her you just want to help and make it all better for her before you leave and this would make you very happy to do this for her, start small and when she sees how nice it looks i am sure she will jump and and start helping the hardest thing is just getting started l

I hope this helps :))))))))))))

Answer 2

She could be keeping some of it for memories. Get her a storage building instead bc it may cause problems if you do throw her things away. Most of it she will not miss anyway. Tell her that the things she does not need or use in a month, you are going to start moving them to a storage or throwing them out and see how she responds. There is no sense in her being that bad. It is a mental disorder, and people are prescribed medications for it. I just watched a television program on it a few nights ago. They need professional help. Tell her that it is uncleanly and not a place to live anymore bc of her things and no cleaning involved and that it is affecting you and your life. She should want to do something if it is affecting you in a negative way.

Answer 3

I know it mus be frustrating but it's her house if she so chooses to let it become a sty then that is her business. It's not your place to throw out her stuff. All that junk she keeps might hold sentimental value so it isn't fair to start throwing out her stuff. If you really cant stand the mess for the next year. Suggest a storage room that way she will have room for her stuff without having to get rid of it all. Maybe by then she will be able to afford a bigger place where she can move her stuff back in with her.

Answer 4

Well, you need to ask yourself some things.

1.Is she rich?
2. If so, are you in her will?
3. If the above 2 are true, are you willing to be dis-owned by a packrat for your actions?

If the above items are not an issue, then heck yeah, get rid of the crap! If she needs some convincing, you guys can come over to my mom's house and see the mold growing on the walls, the roaches, and the rats. Oh, and there's probably some news videos you could dig up that show this "rat house" inhabited by a mother and daughter. It was FINALLY condemned by the city (after billions of complaints) and demolitioned. The video is disgusting, you should see how many distressed rats run when they are wrecking the house! I would hate to be in that neighborhood.

But, I digress. Get rid of the junk!

Answer 5

I am an avid organizer, and I have been in many situations like this. You need to start throwing away things, start with what is broken.
As for the items that she is hoarding that you see no purpose in, my mom has the best idea on this, and I think it will work for you. Take 5-6 small items that you want to get rid of, and put them in a bin or basket in a closet. If your mom hasn't asked for them in a week, then out they go.
You are doing what is best for your mom, don't feel guilty.

Answer 6

Since you are leaving, why start up that kind of conflict with her? She "needs" these things, even if you don't. You can't cure her -- and throwing things out without her agreement will only cause anger and bad feelings between the two of you in the little time you have left.

Try to find your own space in the mess, and keep that as clean as you can. Then, stick it out.

Answer 7

Sounds like she has a mental issue with her stuff (hoarding), so I wouldn't recommend throwing it out without her consent, as she probably has emotional attachments to the stuff and would react badly.
Try talking to her about it and see if you can work out a compromise (like throw out X amount of broken things each month or something like that).

Answer 8

She has a form of perfectionist OCD called hoarding. Going cold turkey on her with throwing everything out could cause serious physical/mental problems.

Answer 9

hey , leave her stuff alone. eventually she get tried of seeing it all and throw some stuff away. i amlike that to but then clean it up in a big clean up when i am tired of looking at it. avoiding her privacy and going in her stuff no matter how mess might really piss her off. i know cause i am pissed off when someone goes through my stuff.

Answer 10

That's funny my mother is a freaking neurotic pack rat.
My brother throws her stuff out all the time, well he steals her junk that needs to be dumped and puts it in his car so that she won't see it in the garbage, then he dumps it...
Most of the time they won't notice it if you do it behind there backs, If you tell her about it she will find some excuse to keep it around, just like girls find excuse's to keep guys that trash there hearts around, they find some irrelavent excuse why they should be there...........................................................