What would you do if this is your child?

Question

Children are so picky these days, both of my nephews only buys from certain names, one of them buys from Pacific Sun only, the other one likes A&F, American Eagles. My 7 years old son demand his cloth to be bought in Gaps, he was asking for an iphone the other day ( he carries my husband's old cell phone, incase there's change in our schedules) I caught him bargaining with my husband, but really how do parents these day afford their life styles?
Everytime he get a good report card, he expect something from us

The boy that buys in Pacific Sun, thinks he's in the Goth group, the other one is preppy.

He refuse to wear hand me downs from his cousins.

He makes me feel guilty, he said he's classmate will make fun of him to wear cloth I picked out. Sometimes we just really gave in, after he cry about it all the time

Answer 1

I think that you are describing two spoiled boys, due to no other credit than yourselves! 7 year old with a cell phone? So what if its an "old one." When they get "new ones" give back the old ones or cut the service to them. Gosh, this is why he's asking for an iphone..he already has a regular cell phone. Kids will ask for more that what they have, but it's the parents' responsibilty to teach them limits. You need to become the parent and put your foot down and start telling them they are going to get clothes where it's affordable. And even if you have the money to shop there, it sounds like you're not teaching your children the value of money and the responsibility that you carry to teach them to be good stewards of their money (possibly because you aren't good stewards of your own own money??).
If you do try to change your ways and get back on the parenting track, then I would advise you to stay away from awarding good behavior with material items. Instead, if your children do good, or get good grades then the whole family can plan a special family outing or devote some one-on -one time for the reward. And if your nephews are coming to you for rewards, then be firm and do the same; reward with some activities instead of material items.
Here are some links below that perhaps will help you with budgeting your money and get you on the right track that material items aren't eveything:
God Bless you!

Answer 2

How did you and your sister-in-law/brother-in-law let your kids get so bad? Make it clear that since it is your money which you work for you choose where to spend it. They can start picking their store when they earn their own money. Also make it clear that your son does not get rewarded everytime for a report card because good grades are expected and not to be ALWAYS celebrated. A "good job" or maybe a special meal should be enough. It's not parents these days, it's whoever spoils their child. My nieces and nephews are very well behaved and don't even know the name of the store their clothes are from. Sounds like people in your family are too materialistic. Your son should just be happy he's got a cell phone period considering he's seven.

Answer 3

I would tell our daughter that she can buy what she likes, so long as she pays the difference. When we would buy school clothes, we would alot the amount of money it would take to buy the clothes at Target or Wal-Mart. If she wanted something different, she would have to fund the difference. Needless to say, her tastes in clothing brands changed rather quickly. Don't be suckered into feeling guilty. Not EVERY kid wears name brand stuff. Don't believe it? go to a mall on a Saturday. You will see SOME kids with the pac sun and holister clothes, but not all and probably not more than 35%. Don't buy into the costly brand name clothes.

Answer 4

well tell them to get a job and buy them themselves but for now wear what i can afford and if u don't like it tough crap as far as the report card goes with the good grade u can say great job honey we knew u could do it!!!hes 7 and has a cell phone hes already has one up on my 10 yr she doesn't even have that.
normal parents that work a 40 hr a week job with bills cant afford those clothes my opinion yr only paying for the name A&F is way tooooo expensive
just remember u not giving in to his demands will make him a better man when he grows up and not a slacker and thinks that he only has to ask to get what he wants and u buy it . give him little jobs around the house and set an allowence to $5 per week and then let him but what he wants when he has the money he earned

Answer 5

You need to start good money managment skills NOW! Hes 7 and already bargening..
Give him a weekely allowance ( I gave my kids 10 /wk)..anything that is not a neseccity that he wants,he will have to save and pay for....10/wk..heck,he'll be able to get an Iphone in a few years!..Its not okay for him to demand what kind of clothes he is going to wear..once he learns the concept of money and how it is earned and saved,he will understand the reasond why walmart is so much better then the mall..lol And DO REWARD EXTRA for good report cards..you want to encourage this now,so he has a good concept of why he wants to get good grades.... 20$ for each A, and 10$ for each B is how we did it,but you can do any varieation....We never rewarded c's or below..and our kids kept themselves on the honoroll..they knew they could get an extra 120 bucks every few months if they kept up the good. food work..you dont have to use money though..you can have him pick out a toy that he wants out of the sunday paper,and hang the picture of it on the fridge..and tell him "If you get ___ A's,mommy will get you this toy"..that way he has SOMETHING to work for....at his age..if there isnt some light at the end of the tunnle,its not worth it.

Answer 6

Your 7 year old is obviously in charge of your house right now. He needs to realize that he's going to be leaving the house without clothes if he doesn't wear what you buy him. He has no sense of fiscal responsibility and it's probably about time to sit down and have a talk about it and his responsibilites to your family, and when he fulfills those responsibilities, he will receive his allowance. Spell out what exactly he is responsible for, and what you expect him to use his allowance to purchase. If he does not fulfill his responsibilities, he should not receive his allowance. He should not receive any awards for good grades, those are part of his familial responsibility, but he should have other chores around the house, like emptying the dishwasher, taking out the garbage, vacuming and dusting-along with keeping his room clean.

(An I-Phone for a 7 YEAR OLD???????????? Tell him how many weeks allowance he needs to earn to buy it without spending money on any necessities!)

You and your husband need to take back control of your house! You and he make the money, and pay the bills, and make the decisions-not your 7 year old!

Answer 7

Your son is 7 years old, he is already brand conscious? and he wants an Iphone? ok, if this were my son, seriously, I would sit him down and tell him that he has a choice, he can either have the phone or he can get his clothes from good will and regarding the report card, well, I would tell him that I will discontinue the monetary rewards because even though I want him to do well in school if he doesn't he'll be held back a year and that he will not enjoy that, and it isn't hurting you any for him to re take all his classes but him.

Answer 8

Wow, I wonder what you've taught him. You know a lot of times when our children act like this it's really hard to acknowledge that we are actually the problem. My son is nine and would never ask me for such things. How can you allow your seven year old child to have a sell phone. I do award my son good report cards but I reward him with things that make common sense. For example last year he won author of the month. So I bought him things to encourage hime to write. When he won reader of the month we bought him books. I would never reward him with clothes. I think that's just asking for trouble. I know for a fact my son's class mates don't wear those kinds of clothes and neither does my son.

Answer 9

Its like this, they don't get it.

I have a 9 and 7 yr old. They would "love" to have all the cool things, and ya know they do, but, they work for it.

My 9 yr old, cleans, helps cooks, folds and puts away laundry, helps pull weeds etc.

My 7yr old, loads and unloads dishwasher, scrapes plates, mops, vacumes. etc.

They earn $5 a week. I take them to slackers they found a gameboy for $60. didn't have enough money just so happend a girl had two and she was trading them in, we got both for $30. so what they had a scratch on the outside, they weren't pink, but my kids are happy with them.

Everything they have, they work for. Nothing is just "given" to them. Those nephews of yours, will amount to nothing in life except loafers. Their mom and dad really need to put a stop to it now. There is not affording their life styles. Its kids need to accept how things are, they do NOT rule, parents do.

Answer 10

The greatest and longer lasting gift you can teach your children is about finances and what it takes to live in today society. Other than saying no, set up a bank account for them, and then set allowance limit for grades/chores/etc. If they want something that you deem unreasonable, make them save up for it with their allowance. That way it will make them think twice if they really want it, and hopefully make them respect their stuff more. They probably won't like the idea, cause that means they will have to wait for their "now" wants, you will have to be strong and turn deaf ears, which will be hard, I know. Good luck!