i dont know how to explain it but i just feel like he isnt as commited and doesnt enjoy my company, but everytime i mention breaking up he refuses to, i really love him but i need him to be there and have time for us?
2007-07-25 07:50:33 · 14 answers · asked by Ari jay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to just sit him down and tell him exactly what you wrote here.
Tell him that you love him, but if things don't change you have to leave because this relationship isn't fulfilling to you. It's hard but it's for the best.
2007-07-25 07:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, my last relationship failed because we didn't communicate our needs to each other and just assumed the other knew what we liked/disliked, what we expected, etc.... when your expectations are not met, you just feel unhappy and frustrated and it ends up killing any feeling you might have had for that person. Only after separating from my ex we talked and found out many things that we didn't know the other liked or was happy with..... if we had known earlier we would probably have saved the relationship.
Nobody is a mind reader, we tend to think that if someone loves us they just HAVE to know what we want and need, but that's not true. You have to SPEAK UP. Ask for what you want, which is not the same as wanting him to change his personality just to please you, and if he really cares he'll do his best to make you feel loved and cared for. If he doesn't, then he just doesn't love you the same way you do and you'll be better off without him. Just be patient cuz not everyone is able to express their feelings as openly as we would like them to....... it takes time and patience, but at least if you see that he's trying that will be a big bonus for your relationship.
2007-07-25 15:16:15 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doens't have the tools to express himself to you the way you need. Take a second and consider if you really want to be with him if this changes? If you do then you should confront him and tell him that you enjoy your relationship and that you know he loves you, but sometimes you need to hear it and feel it more. Tell him that you want to make special time for him to spend with you in a more romantic way.
Get him to make a cd of music that gets him feeling romantic towards you and tell him to listen to it when he gets ready to spend that quality time with you.
Don't worry I bet that he is trying to express his love for you, unfortunately men only come with two outlets, anger that they feel at themselves because thier emotions are overwhelming, and then there is sex where instead of holding you and talking a little bit about you he instead becomes sexual and just wants to give in to the act feeling like it will give him the same release as talking. Neither works very well so stick with him and try to get him in the habbit of warming up to you and expressing himself verbally alittle more.
2007-07-25 14:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by The thinker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him. Don't say that you want to break up. You seem like you want to try to work things out. Talk to him and tell him what you want from him. Tell him what you expect out of a boyfriend. If he doesn't want to do that and isn't willing to work on it, then leave him. You can break up. You don't have to have his permission to break up. This thing about his "refusing to break up" doesn't make any sense at all. Just leave him if you don't want to date him anymore. You say that you love him, but the question is -- does he love you in return?
2007-07-25 16:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never be afraid to ask for what you're needing. If he can't give it to you, he's not worth it. If he really cares, he'll want to do everything he can to make you feel good in the relationship. Talk with him about it. Do you have ideas of what you want? Just tell him. You should never be afraid to talk to the one you love about something.
2007-07-25 14:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are goin through and some guys just don't understand how you feel... they just don't know to make you feel attractive. I would jsut sit him down and tell him what is on your heart and see what he has to say you never know it may change your relationship completely. make sure that you tell him all the time how you feel about him and make him feel good about himself.. and let him see how it feels and if he will play off of that... I wish you the best..
2007-07-25 14:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to step back a tad bit and see if that gets his attention. If it doesn't, then step back a little more. Don.t lead him on and on in a relationship that he's comfortable with and your not. Find out just how deep is his love for you.
2007-07-25 14:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by Cool 64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls always have it wrong when they ask these type of things from their man....
If he aint already doing it, it aint his thing, he will be resentful for having to do those things
this is another girl in love with the idea of love, not necesarrily the guy their with.
2007-07-25 14:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by dick_ache 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you love him as much as you say you do, then it shouldn't be that hard to just tell him that you want him to be there for you...and if he loves you just as much, then he should understand that every woman should be treated like a princess. he should want to hang out with you when he could be chillin with his friends...he should want to be there for you whenever he can, and he should care for you and love you and tell you how beautiful he thinks you are...that's how a woman should be treated
2007-07-25 14:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by Brenna B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way about my guy!
OMG
exactly!
We hang out and he is just there, like he could be doing better things.
2007-07-25 14:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by baby_rost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋