Why doesn't the promotion of abstinence as an option work?

Question

Above all I totally believe that apart from God all humanity can do is fail so no prayer is a huge factor. However, I also think abstinence as a choice may not be working because not enough is being taught on the psychological, mental, and emotional pitfalls that occur with sexual activity. Many deep mental scars are left behind. Some people never get over their past hurt and it impairs the ability for some to move on and progress. Teens should know about these things as well!

FOR THE LOVE OF GREEN APPLES, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ABSTINENCE ONLY PROGRAMS!! Though I know my addition come very late I'm hoping that someone could actually answer the question instead of telling me all the reasons it wont work!

Answer 1

Agreed! Those issues should absolutely be addressed as part of a teen's sexual education.

Answer 2

One of the reasons that the promotion of abstinance among teens (and pre-teens in some cases) does not work is because what is NOT included are the tools to allow these people to control and manage the drives and urges that they are feeling. I know when they did the sex-education when i was in 6th grade all they did was tell us about various methods of birth control and advise us NOT to do it. They never really expalind the physical sensations that lead to the act, nor the effect of the drives on the psyche of an adolsecent mind and body. All too often someone that is 12 or so (even younger now, these days its more like 9 or 10 when those hormonal urges start to surface) doesn't even know they are experienceing the effects of those drives until things have already happened. Don't just tell them not to, give them the tools to manage those feelings so they can make the choice when the times comes.

Answer 3

Well, I do think abstinence could be taught as a choice, but even then, we can't expect people to not have sex. And not everyone deals with sex the same way psychologically, mentally, or emotionally either. Not everyone is scarred by sex. So to say that there are always emotional scars left by sex is a bit much, I think. That kind of paints sex as "evil and dirty" IMHO. I abstained from having sex until I was 19 and in a long term relationship. That relationship failed, but do I regret having sex with him? Nope. It was an experience well worth my time. If I could go back and have it to do over again - I wouldn't change a thing. So I don't think scaring kids about alleged mental and emotional "damage" is necessarily the way to go either because you have no way of knowing who is going to be traumatized by a sexual experience - and who isn't.

Ultimately I think the problem why abstinence education doesn't work is that sex is an instinctive urge that is not easily purged. We're animals. Our sex drive is hard-wired into our brains for survival of the species (i.e. procreation).

Answer 4

if you put it in that light you might stop 10% of the kids/people ingaging in sexual activity. But you are fighting a losing battle because you are fighting the nature of humanity. Sex feels good to ensure the survival of the species. In antiquity we only lived to be 30 or 40 years old, so your teenage years were prime time. But life expectancy has gotten longer over the past 150 yrs so the culture has changed. However what is 150 yrs compared to 50,000 yrs of human evolution. A drop in the bucket.

We have these "scars" and issues with our past because of societies taboos and our culture's disconnect with sex. We are taught from birth that sex is a dirty thing and so when we engage in sexual activity we end up feeling dirty, as it were.

If you take a look at the Greeks, Romans, or Egyptians of the Ancient World, you will find that neither Latin nor Greek had a word for homosexual, and no discernable word has been found for virgin in Egyptian. do you think these people had the hang ups that we have in modern society? No, in fact sex, in whatever form, was a good thing. You can thank christianity and Islam for smugging natures wonderful little gift in a world full of misery.

Answer 5

Uh, you shouldn't keep posting the same blurb.

And, given that you have to keep adding the same Additional Details that you don't oppose sex education, it would make sense to put that up front.

People don't do or not do things just because someone has told them it's unwise.

Teens are unrealistic, and the part of the brain that judges risk doesn't function well.

Your assumption that kids aren't being told abstenence is best is false; most kids are getting this message INSTEAD of sex education.

Sex education is more effective, because it's more realistic.

Kids in civilized societies, where they have complete and accurate sex education tend to start having sex later than kids here, were we mostly teach "abstinence" and lie to them about sex.

They know when we're lying.

But nothing will stop all young people with raging hormones to not have sex.

Your assumption that it's always a bad thing is also false.

A lot of people have sex before marriage and suffer no ill consequences whatsoever.

Answer 6

I am completely against abstinence-only sex ed programs for three reasons: there is no evidence at all that they work; common sense says they have no chance of working; and it is not clear that ethically they send the right message to young people.

But under the Bush administration, the federal government has planted itself firmly in the abstinence-only camp. More than a billion dollars have been spent to support these programs. To make matters worse, the administration and Congress have played favorites with your tax money, with abstinence-only money going disproportionately to Arizona, Florida, Georgia and Texas. In contrast, Vermont received the least amount of federal funding. Maybe the kids in Vermont cannot hear admonitions to remain chaste amidst the sound of falling snow?

The message that sex must wait until marriage is not the right message to send to a young person. The people sending the message almost never lived up to it in their own lives and nothing turns a kid off like hypocrisy. Furthermore, most kids themselves just don’t believe it.

And lastly, regardless of what someone's age is, it makes more sense to talk about maturity, love and mutual respect than to send an absolute message that sex is unacceptable outside marriage — a message that gets nullified the day a person graduates from high school.

Answer 7

I agree abstinence will never work in a society where it is no longer desirable for teenagers to get married. People are sexual beings and this is a normal and natural need. I don't think that teenagers getting married is a good idea. I think society is better for the longer transition period where young people mature, explore life, and continue learning and maybe preparing for a career. Abstinence no longer works for modern society. I think we need to tell kids about the pitfalls but prepare them to protect themselve and make better choices should they go ahead.

Answer 8

The biggest 'pitfall' that an abstinent has to face is their complete unpreparedness for how they feel the moment someone touches them up in the right way. They tend to flop straight into loading position.

You keep trying to logically paint your beloved abstinence into a good light, regardless of the facts. Stop dreaming and examine the DATA: it does not work, and the groups that try it fail abysmally.

CD

Answer 9

It doesn't work because abstinence in unnatural. We are born with a sex drive. It's necessary for the progression of our species. Suppression of that drive leads to bad things (catholic priest/ pedophiles, etc). Abstinence as an option is fine, as long as it's factual, and also as long as we also take into consideration, that it may not work and teach what to do in that case as well. Let the individual make an informed choice.

Answer 10

Um, hormones? As a child, I swore I would wait until marriage. Then I turned 16. Yowza! And I see that over and over again. Abstinence as THE choice would only work if we were still marrying our kids off at 14 or so.

Answer 11

I agree! It's a battle though that popular political correctness has been winning in the public schools. We need to start by getting rid of the liberal, humanistic teaching that twists the facts on this subject (and so many others), and be bold enough to speak the truth in love. Truth and love is important!! Those two factors - truth and love - will help abstinence work!