I'm getting married in 3 months and we already have our hall picked out. My future mother-in-law, myself, and my fiance all went to look at the hall and my mother in law decided she does not like it and began to look for a new one. I did not think she would find one on such short notice but she did. Now she wants to switch and we have money down on the other one. The new hall is two dollars per person more but it does include the booze, the old hall did not and we would be out our deposit. What do you all think I should do?
2007-07-25 07:34:13 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
and my fiance was fine with the first hall but now he has decided to change his mind.
2007-07-25 07:37:06 · update #1
We did like the first hall but I guess I feel like we are between a rock and a hard place because she is helping us out a lot with the wedding.
2007-07-25 07:48:20 · update #2
tell her no means NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. if you do not want to use that hall, then don't. you have your reasons. but be sure to thank her for trying to help.
2007-07-25 07:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not know which is the better deal as the $2.00 per person could be worth the switch. I would tell the hall that the wedding is off and you would like a refund. You have a time frame in which to change your mind. Also you both need to figure out which is the best for you. Are you in love with the first hall or is this that you are just upset she found something else?
2007-07-26 09:08:47 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them about it. See why they like this hall more and even talk about decorations - will one hall let you do more than the other, or does one have a better layout for your tables and decor? Also think about your guests, is one place harder to find or have better parking? Does one limit the catering or drinks at all? Times?
I'd really suggest sitting down with them and making a list of the pros and cons of each place. He and his mom may have thought of some perks of this new hall that you're overlooking. Certainly have the price and the deposit be included in those lists, but don't let them be the most important factor. I'm sure if all three of you discuss it reasonably, one will emerge as the better choice.
Good luck with all your plans
UPDATE: after reading other answers I'm assuming she kept searching for a hall to be helpful, not controling or manipulative. Whether this can help you depends if she is just trying to help you find the best options and is open to discussion.
2007-07-25 07:56:40 · answer #3 · answered by Christa H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do YOU want to do? Do you like one of them better?The 2nd hall includes the booze, and the first one did not, so you would have had to pay extra for the drinks at the 1st hall, right? Is that savings worth the loss of the deposit on the 1st hall? Make your decision based on how well YOU like each one and your BOTTOM LINE savings (or additional cost). Don't make it a contest between you and your soon-to-be mother-in-law.
2007-07-25 08:37:24 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Level with MIL - if she's willing to pony up the deposit you'll lose with the first hall PLUS what it will cost to reprint the wedding invitations that have already been sent (including postage) then consider the new hall.
But only if SHE will reimburse you for your lost expenses.
I bet that she suddenly thinks the original hall is pretty nice after all.
Or if she does pony up, then go with the new hall.
OH, and your fiance is a rat for not sticking with you - watch this as it will ony get worse after you're married.
2007-07-25 08:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How presumptuous of her!
If your future mother in law is willing to refund you the deposit you are losing and if she is paying for the new hall, then she can have her say. If you are paying for it, then she will just have to deal with it.
I hope this isn't foreshadowing of her controlling your life after the wedding.
Good luck.
2007-07-25 08:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what YOU want. This is your wedding & your day. If you choose the 1st hall be polite to your MIL & tell them in a nice way (to avoid a confrontation/disaster). MIL's tend to be pushy @ times, but you just have to blow them off.
*In the future, don't let anyone but you & your fiancé make decisions. Don't even ask for opinions as that always opens the door for conflict. Tell people what you think, but not in a rude way.
2007-07-25 08:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by *Fickle Pickle* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The biggest issue is not the money. It's the fact that she had NO right to start looking for a new one when you two had already picked one out and put the deposit down. Who cares if she doesn't like it? It's not her wedding and it's not about her. That was very rude, controlling, and manipulative to start searching for a new one. I would just tell her that plain out. And your fiance needs to decide whose team he is on. He's starting a new family with you. If he wants to continue being a mommy's boy he should not be getting married.
2007-07-25 07:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
OUCH !!! tell her that you will lose your deposit, by the way,, who is paying for this ? Usually the bride does. If you and your groom are paying, you have to respect the decision. Sounds like she is a ALCOHOLIC wanting all the booze she can get
2007-07-25 08:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if MIL is paying and your fiance is ok with the switch you should probably do it. however if it is yours and the grooms dime than talk to your future hubby and decide between you and him *(perhaps calculate the difference betwen losing the deposit and gaining the alcohol included) and YOU TWO decide.. leave her opinion out of it.
2007-07-25 07:48:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Would you lose your deposit or a small portion?
Do you want to change halls?
Do what YOU want and move on.
2007-07-25 07:37:53 · answer #11 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋