My husbands ex constantly hangs around one of his sisters and it bothers him. Not only because she's done him very wrong and his siblings know that, he's also bothered by the fact that his sister wont accept me all the way..but rather half way including the ex.(gossip, pathological liar, peaked through our windows in the home, to see what we have etc..creepy)
He's expressed several times to her that it bothers him, but the sis does as she want and he has to deal with it.
I personally could care less if they accept me whole or half, I am not married to his siblings but I can understand his side and getting fed up with the family feud, constantly seeing the ex on family events that trigger my hubby to walk out and me sitting in the middle.
How would you handle this mess? Just not messing with that sibling?
2007-07-25 07:23:13 · 8 answers · asked by greenie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Where do you draw the line is the real question? His sis can do whatever she wants, but where is the family loyalty? I have a similar situation with an ex and my brother and sister-in-law. We had a horrible break up (not married, thank God), but he was so rotten to me, got the police involved, stalked me on my job and at home, and now my brother and his family are dining with him and going on boat outings. What? Regardless of who's side the family takes, when a relationship is over, it's over, and there should be some morality issue on the part of the family that respects the unwritten rule that if you end the relationship, then it's hands off for all family members. If children are involved, it's handled differently, of course. Your hubby is being betrayed by his sister regardless of who's side she's on. She should be his soldier no matter what, and as far as her feelings towards you, who cares? Your probably the best thing that your hubby has had in his life, and sounds like sis has some resentment and jealousy towards you and him. Otherwise, she'd conduct herself a lot more admirably. As far as your husband's constant reminder that she's in the family picture because of sis's choice to do so, that hurts an enourmous amount. I speak from first hand experience. My son told me about my brother seeing my ex, and I cried because I felt so betrayed. This guy was awful to me. If his ex shows up at another family function, and this should bother your hubby and you (if it didn't, you wouldn't be human), stand by his side and very politely have a reason to leave immediately. Don't give in to the ex or his sis. Perhaps that's just what they are after: A big ugly reaction from either one of you. Don't go to that level. Take the high road. Neither one of you should have to tolerate being uncomfortable for anyone. His sister is wrong, wrong, wrong. Make sure hubby knows that you have his back no matter what. That's very important. Some relationships are toxic ~ family members not excluded here, and I would stay far, far, away from his sister. She's trouble. I've had to severe several relationships in my family do to their keeping in touch with my ex. People are either for or against you. To me their is no middle ground. My life if less dramatic if I don't play into the whole he said she said game. As the saying goes, "Life is the sum total of your choices." Make 'em good ones -- even if that means shortening your list of friends and so called family members. You sound as though you're a confident, caring and person. Don't change that for anyone.
2007-07-25 08:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! that would really bother me having the ex around still as a family friend.His sis doesn't seem to care at all about how he feels about it,or have respect for you at all. This is a tough situation and I feel for you, honestly if it were me I wouldn't even go to these events knowing ahead of time she would be there,and if it bothers your husband so much that he can't enjoy himself than I'd leave it up to him whether you guys should go or not.Maybe if you guys did not show anymore his sis will miss him and realize she'd rather have him there than her friend? Just an idea,Good Luck
2007-07-25 14:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by Red 7 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why does it matter so much? Maybe she is someone the sis can talk to and they might be close friends. Does it influence you and ur husband relationship? If not let her be. If she is just really seeking for attention. your husband reaction will just encourage her behavior even more. Ignorance will let her know that you do not care. After sometime, she will realize that she is being a desperate and a stupid woman. She will leave you all alone then.
2007-07-25 14:47:34 · answer #3 · answered by jianing_86 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If they are peaking in the windows, I would consider getting a restraining order against them. There is something wrong if the ex doesn't want to move on!!
2007-07-25 15:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey badappleinthebunch.
Don't worry about that ex. Whatever is happening, just ignore it. It will all fix itself.
2007-07-25 14:26:27 · answer #5 · answered by jquick13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he can not control who his sis spends time with. He needs to learn to ignore and move on.
2007-07-25 14:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i say you two should ignore her (ex) & his sister, if shes being so disrespected then there no point in calling her a sister or family
2007-07-25 14:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by maya 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dont worry about her. She's desperate for attention anyway she can get it
2007-07-25 14:29:25 · answer #8 · answered by NEveR ThE LesS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋