Should I tell my wife she is fat?

Question

She eats too much junk food especially at night. She does not exercise. She told me 12 years ago not to say she was getting fat. That was, I'm guessing, 40 lbs ago. She is 5'7" and probably 150 lbs. Last night she told me in front of friends that I am borderline anorexic. I am 6'2" 180 lbs. I'm skinny with a high metabolism but I eat well and I'm active. She made fun of me for not eating junk in the evening. I think that opens the door for me to criticize her weight. What do you think?

She tells her friends and my family that she is fat. She says she thinks it is normal to be in your 40's and be fat. I don't think she means it. I know she is unhappy about it because she hides herself a lot when she gets dressed. I have tried the whole "we should work out together" thing. She hates to work out.

The kids tell her she has a fat belly. Everyone notices but I'm not aloud to?

Answer 1

From a woman's point of few, I wouldn't tell her she was fat. Maybe you can try to get her involved in some activities outside that you guys can do together. Maybe the reason she said what she said is because she is feeling a little insecure. You have to try and get her to stop eating so much junk food at night because that isn't helping her at all. You are going to have to do it in a nice way so that you don't hurt her feelings because she may just eat more and worse. Hope this helps some.

Answer 2

Don't criticize her maybe make it be her idea to get in better shape for her health and start a family routine or something subliminal...Example maybe you could start cooking "gormet" aka healthy meals at night (this will make it so you can start doing the shopping and not buying all the junk food in my house other than fruit there is nothing that you can eat without cooking which deters the snacking) and then suggest you spend some time together taking a walk...Then once you get that down maybe start making breakfast and lunches...In my family I cook health meal for dinner and the left over is lunch. We also (I know this sounds weird) but we moved our bowflex into the front room so now we watch tv and all of us (my husband, three year old daughter and I) take turns on each of the excersices while we watch out tv in the evenings....It is a family event...Just whatever you do don't tell your wife she is fat cause you are supposed to love her no matter what she looks like but if you go from a health stand point of you and her getting healthy together then it might work and she might thing she is doing it so you can get healthy and she is along for the ride supporting you. Then it could be a win win situation...She looses weight and gets healthy and you get healthy as well...

Answer 3

There is no positive side to criticism. It will only harm your relationship. My suggestion would be for you to find an activity that is fun for both of you that you could share, & encourage her in this manner, rather than thinking that you can shame her into exercising. Then, at some point, when she's showing some signs of losing some of the unwanted pounds, allow your passion to fire her up & remind her of the way it was when you first got together, & the way it could still be again!! This usually gets a womans attenion pretty quick!!!

Answer 4

This is a touchy subject. Be nice about it, but suggest that she should practice more of your eating habits than continue her own. She doesn't sound like she needs to lose a lot if she only weighs 150 now. Ask her if she would like to go on walks together or start riding bike together. Suggest that you both use late night strolls together as a time to talk about everything and anything so you will stay fit together and stay connected with communication to each other. That will show her that you care about her and want what is best for her and for both of you as a couple.

Answer 5

well, you might get punched in the face for outright telling her she's fat, so tact is going to be key...
suggest things that you can do together to get her more active and maybe try to suggest some foods that are a little healthier if she is going to be eating at night...also just let her know that you are concerned..that she doesn't necessarily look bad, but you are worried about other health problems that have a higher risk with age such as heart disease, which is more common among women than most think...

Answer 6

If she can criticize, so can you. Call her a fat lazy pig. Get her pissed about it. I quit smoking three years ago and put on 50 pounds. I was 6' 230 pounds. It took someone calling me fat to get me motivated. Now I am in the best shape of my life and love it. I now show off my body instead of hiding it. And don't listen to some of these people 5'7" 150 pounds is fat.

Answer 7

never tell a woman she's fat. bcuz first off, that's around how much i weigh but i look like i weigh 125 (i'm an athlete). sit down and talk about this weight issue bcuz it's probably the cover for other issues. suggest both going on runs in the morning or something. about her making fun of you, just say:
"I don't find it funny when you make fun of me. This is just how my body is and how my health is, and I shouldn't be made fun of for being healthy. Is there something bothering you about this?"
-good luck, and remember no matter how much she's asking for it, don't tell her she's fat; invite her for a walk in the park or to a tennis game. when she realizes how crappy she feels during it, she'll realize she needs to be more active bcuz nothing sucks more than realizing you're out of shape

Answer 8

No! She's just jabbing at you because she feels badly about herself. She knows that she's gained weight, and you mentioning it is just going to make the situation worse. Instead, try seeing if she'll go for a nice walk with you in the evenings or something. That way you can help her be more active and not feel pressured into it. You need to help her self-esteem improve, and the way that my husband has helped me is to compliment me. I weigh much more than your wife, and he still tells me that he loves me and that he thinks I'm beautiful. He doesn't push changes on me, but he is very supportive when I start to eat better or take better care of myself. Just love her and be as supportive as you want her to be of you.

Answer 9

Dont tell a woman she is fat!
Tell her you are concerned about her health or if you have kids -that she is not setting a good example for them. Take her out for a romantic walk in a park (like a 10mile hike:-) but dont tell how long it is just start walking) or go on a very active vacation or cruise - figure out something because your wife is not your enemy, she is your partner and one of you has to be smarter.

Answer 10

I think you should ask her if she remembers the conversation, and that you didn't think it was appropriate to criticize you to your friends. Point out that you don't criticize her for being over weight, and that you would not do that to her. Tell her you are concerned about her weight, only because it will in time affect her health. When she is ready for your help, to please ask for it and you both can work at being healthy. Criticizing does nothing but start a fight and hurt feelings. I believe your main course of action is not to hurt her, but to help her. That is if you love her.