Catholic Fiance?

Question

I am non-denominational but my fiance is Catholic and he would like a priest present at our non-denominational wedding. Does anyone know what the priest actually has to do during the ceremony so that our marriage can be blessed by the Catholic church? It's really important that a priest is present there for him.

FYI we have talked about children,our families,etc and we will be raising our children non-denominational BUT since he grew up with catholicism it would make him feel better if a priest were present for the ceremony and he could still keep those religious ties if possible. For his sake we would like the Catholic church to acknowledge our union, is that entirely impossible? Am I being naiive?

Answer 1

Let me start by saying that I have been to more Catholic-Protestant weddings than I can count, including my sister's. You can work something out if you want to work something out. Talk to both your priest and your minister. My wife and I are both Catholic, so this issue did not exactly come up for us. I believe you will both have to make several promises. For example, 1) you will both have to promise that you consider marriage a life-long commitment, 2) you will both have to promise to accept children if God gives you children and 3) you will both have to promise to raise the children Catholic. Number 3) can sometimes be a deal-breaker. The two of you will have to attend Catholic pre-marital classes, commonly known as pre-Cana, expect an anti-birth control sermon when you visit the priest.

Answer 2

You won't be harmed by additional blessing and it may well do you good.

My own parents were in a similar situation. They had a more trans-denominational marriage (Dad's Catholic, Mom was Assemblies of God (I think - she worships where Dad does, now) and the minister was a "completed Jew" (i.e. believing in Jesus as Messiah)). They planned everything as best they could but missed something w/ the Catholic Church and had to get their marriage blessed at Mass the following month. (They celebrate 2 anniversaries b/c of this - it got funny when they started sharing their "greater experience" with their own parents).

Anyway, you definitely want the wedding to be the best possible experience you can plan, so if something is important to you or your fiance, do it. Remember, things don't always go as planned, so enjoy the day regardless. If for whatever reason the priest isn't able to show, get your marriage blessed at the earliest opportunity (for your husband's sake, at least).

Answer 3

The answer to your question is that the priest has to make the pronouncement of marriage and the blessing. I have had services with different priests. They have been willing to negotiate other parts of the service, do it in another church, and make other adjustments. But that part is required for the church to make the marriage legal under their law.

The larger issue that you didn't ask has already been raised. Your fiance is obviously a deeply devoted Catholic. You are not. If he does not raise his children in the Catholic faith he will likely be removed from communion. This will create serious problems for a devote Catholic. Are you ready to make that commitment? Are you willing to keep your family together by becoming a Catholic and raising your children in the Catholic faith? It is unlikely that a devoted Catholic will be comfortable in another faith tradition.

Pastor John

Addendum: As has been indicated here to have the Catholic Church recognize your marriage you will have to promise to raise the children in the Catholic Faith. For him to later break that promise will place him outside the communion of the church. Also from my experience, Catholics who leave the church often have guilt because of the strong church teachings about the Catholic Church being the only means of salvation. I would recomment that he sit down with a priest and your pastor and get some answers.

Also if the Catholic church doesn't bless the union, he will be considered to be living in sin. By my understanding this will also place him outside the communion of the church. I had a good catholic man who struggled with this for years. Eventually his wife listened to me and they were remarried in the Catholic Church. Now he can receive communion.

Answer 4

Unless it is a Sacramental Marriage, I don't think a Priest can or will be there.

To Catholics, Marriage is a bond between the two people and God, and one that is not to be taken lightly, and should be done in the presence of God.

I had a Sacramental non-Denominational wedding, it was in the Catholic Church after meeting with the Priest, and non-Catholics (Like me at the time) were very welcome to come and join us.

If this is important to him, I strongly suggest that both of you make an appointment with a local Priest ASAP.

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 5

In the Sacrament of Matrimony, it is the couple who are the ministers of the sacrament. The priest or deacon is present as a witness on behalf of the Church. The priest or deacon is a witness to the exchange of vows.

If your fiance wants to remain a Catholic and be able to receive the Eucharist after you two get married, the marriage must be witnessed by a priest or deacon.

Does your fiance intend to be a part of the catholic Church after you are married? It does not seem like it since the children will not even be taught the Catholic faith.

It seems doubtful that the Catholic Church will recognize or bless this marriage since the children will not be brought up in the Catholic faith.

Answer 6

Oh Honey - are you sure you know what you are getting into??? Usually (actually I think always) - if you are married in a Catholic church - you are agreeing to raise your children Catholic. And I'm not positive - but I don't think a priest will bless your wedding - unless it is IN a Catholic church.

Maybe you're not planning to have kids - and maybe your fiance is planning to break the church rules - and I know you didn't even ask about this - but - just make sure you know what you're getting into by marrying a Catholic.

Answer 7

The priest might be the one marrying you, or he might just bless the wedding. It's not unusual for different religions to have two religious leaders in a wedding. When I was engaged (I'm Catholic, he was pagan), I got a book that described various wedding types. Among them was Nondenominational/Catholic weddings.

go and talk to the Catholic priest to see what he suggests. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Answer 8

That is a question for the priest to answer. You will find that each priest will have a different interpretation of exactly what he has to do to official sanction the marriage. Some will require it to be held in the Catholic church, with both of you being members first, and communion served. Another will be content with offering a prayer or a blessing.

So talk to the priest himself.

Answer 9

Yes, because if there is no Catholic priest present, then the marriage will not be recognized by the Catholic Church.

Marriage is one of the Sacraments of the Church.

PS: Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.:-)

Answer 10

This doesn't answer your question but I feel led to say it. This may be the first in a long line of issues you will have to deal with. Are you both faithful to your religion? Where will you attend worship services? If you attend seperately, where will the kids go when you have them? I know none of this is an issue now but please believe me it will be. The two of you need to resolve your differences in religion before you enter into a marriage. Regardless, congratulations and best of wishes.