My boyfriend and i were broken up for about 4 months and in that time he made a close friend who was a girl and they spent alot of time together. she lived in a dif city and they visited each other on the weekends. i am certain that nothing is going on now that we are back together, but he keeps telling me that he just liked her as a friend while she wanted to be more than that and thats why they dont talk anymore. I am not convinced and think that something else was going on. a friend of mine just told me another piece of information last night that got me thinking about it again, and i am bothered by it because i just dont know the truth. what i am wondering is if i should confrotn him again and once again try to get the truth out of him or if i should let what was in the past be in the past even though it will be hard for me since i do think something went on between them that was more than a friendship???
2007-07-25 07:04:49 · 19 answers · asked by Lynne. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you two weren't together, it's really none of your business. That he doesn't kiss and tell everything is something you ought to appreciate in this guy.
2007-07-25 07:09:36 · answer #1 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had a similar problem. You should tell him that you just need to ask him something to ease your mind for once and for all. Then you should just straight out ask him. Don't assume anything. Don't be mean. Just tell him your concern and apologize if it offends him. Let him know that you don't want to argue about it. You'd just like to set the record straight so you don't have to worry about it anymore. Listen to what he has to say and take him at his word. This will show him that you trust him. Let him know that you just want to get over it, but you may need a little more explanation to help you do that. Hopefully he'll understand where you are coming from and he'll be cool.
If you're worried about it and you feel that it might be damaging your relationship you should go ahead and get it out in the open. Communication is key in a strong relationship. You should be able to talk to him about anything.
But, if something did happen between them you can't be mad at him. you were broken up. It was his and your right to see other people. The fact that he is with you now means that he loves you and the other girl is not important.
2007-07-25 14:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by JDawg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
were you really broken up or was it just a break, you seem as if you were not, because if you were it is non of your business what he did when you were not together, now that you are back how are you going to use the truth if you do find out that there was more,some things are better left alone, he told you what was going on, mere friendship- the fact that you do not believe him means there is a trust problem in this relationship, at least there has been, if you want to get back with him you will have to try to get past this, I know it hurts but you have to chose to stay with him or stay away from him, what you are doing now is choosing to be miserable, you said they spent a lot of time together, logic will tell you that there was something more,why you want to confirm I don't know, good luck in your decision
2007-07-25 14:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are fairly certain that something did go on between him and your friend, but that you know now that you and he are back together he will be faithful to you because you trust him. If this doesn't make him 'fess up, nothing will. If he still insists nothing was going on, and it still bothers you, call the girl and ask her. At this stage in your relationship you need to have truth, no lies. But be sure he knows it won't matter to you enough that you would break it off and that you understand his not wanting to tell you, but you believe truth is imperative between the two of you.
2007-07-25 14:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why should you care if there was something there you where not together ... let it go and move on ...if it was meant to be that you all are suppose to be together then that is the way it will be and if not then wait till the problem comes up there is not since in starting something that may end up bad for you at this time..just keep your eye out and watch for changes with him and her and then if something happens he i will feel like an *** in the long run if there was.. best wishes to you
2007-07-25 14:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by angelgirlbz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him enough to believe him when he says they're just friends maybe you should rethink the relationship. Okay, before you immediately say that's not true and move to the next question, think about it. Why wouldn't you believe him if he tells you the truth? Has he lied to you in the past? Are you just paranoid? Do you think he is dating you and another girl?
If he cares about you, he'll care if you tell him she makes you nervous and jealous and you wish they wouldn't spend so much time together. He'll start spending less time with her if it makes you uncomfortable, if he cares about your best interest.
But don't push it. let him have his own friends and his own relationships, male and female.
2007-07-25 14:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by Bren J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you have confronted him about it over and over and he still says nothing is going on and he has never lied to you then you should just let it go. If he has lied to you before and that is what makes you not sure of to trust him on this issue then maybe you and him are not meant to be together. Trust is a big issue in a relationship.
2007-07-25 14:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by Randi-Pooh 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh i understand how you feel.. put it this way.. can you deal with never knowing? even though asking him may still leave you clueless, will it bother you more to drop it, or would you rather just bring it up.. explain to him thats it's bugging the crap out of you, that you will NOT be angry because it was when we were broken up, just say you want him to be honest with you.. and maybe you can tell him something you did during the four months that he didn't know about to get the ball rolling
2007-07-25 14:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by lilchikka2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he was with her what are you going to do about it now...You guys are back together and they no longer talk so it doesn't matter what happened in the past I would let it go...Plus you guys weren't together....I know how that feels and I would just say let it go and concentrate on what you have now...If he starts talking to her again then I would confront him about it...
2007-07-25 14:20:37 · answer #9 · answered by Alejandra2008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What good is going to come from you knowing?
It's not like he cheated on you, you 2 weren't together at that time.
So what happened in the past, stays in the past.
And he really doesn't owe you anything not even an explanation because you were not with him at the time.
And if you keep this up, you are going to be in his past too.
2007-07-25 14:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋