what does it mean when you have persistant thoughts, ideas that people, the system have ruined your life?

Question

ruined my hopes, my dreams and oppurtunities on purpous....because this is what i think at times.

when i think about how i was abused, traumatised, victimized, bullied growing up at the hands of others around me...then because of all this i got mental health problems....
then i went off the rails then and committed a crime got in with the wrong crowd...then the system locked me up, put me through the psychiatric system and the jail system..messing my life up , giving me unwanted labels & a crim record i never wanted...which will in turn in the present effect me trying to achieve my goals & aspirations...employment oppurtunities..emmigration oppurtunities ( because that is my number 1 ambition, to move away from the uk)~
and originally all this wasnt my fault, i was a product of my environment..
so can anyone understand that at the age of 30 now i feel people, society ,the system,or whatever has ruined my life on purpous?
i have bpd to,i feel theyve brandished me now & im ruined

Answer 1

you have today to start over.

get past the blame thing and own your life.
if you made bad choices, so be it. we all screw up.
no one is "out to get you".

you are in control to make your future what you want it to be.

bpd2

Answer 2

The fact that you recognize all this is a great start toward changing your life! In some ways, all of us are victims of society... but some even more than others, unfortunately. There is so much wrong with the world and the way things are operating right now, and we feel so helpless to do anything about it sometimes. But what you can do is put those feelings to good use... to change your life, to do what you can, to fight for justice and speak out about your experiences and what you see is going wrong. It's horrible what has happened to you, and it's unfair... but perhaps it has made you stronger and given you wisdom that you can share with this world.

You're not ruined at all... only if you let yourself believe that. You've survived, and you can make a fresh start now. The thoughts in your own mind are what really affects things, so don't you believe that you're ruined! You really aren't... you're still alive, and it's a new day.

I hope you can get back up on your feet and fight the good fight, and share what you've learned with the rest of us, and others who may be going through similar problems in life. You may be able to help many others because of what you've experienced and learned.

Answer 3

A teacher is a very noble profession. A mentor is also a teacher and is more than just a teacher too.
A mentor is someone that has failed. A mentor is someone that has made bad choices, hurt others, and been at the bottom. The mentor will make it his or her goal to be a positive example to another person. They are this positive example by sharing where he or she went wrong and the consequences of their bad choices. Then the mentor will do their best to steer another person away from the direction they went and help them take the first step toward bettering their lives.
I suggest you get involved in a Church or volunteer group that offers those such as yourself to work in the community to make it better.
Forgivness is free but trust has to be earned. I would do my best to be a good and dependable employee even if the job "sucks." Then I would be dependable and honest with those I am friends with and with the groups I volunteer with.
There is always a need in every community. But remember it takes time to build healthy relationships with our community, Church, friends, employers, and our families. Folks need to see evidence and this is up to us to provide it.
Remember not everyone will be willing to be your friend and some will be sort of supicious and even scared to. This is where you must have the confidence in yourself to do your best.
Start in your home. Then in a church or group. Then on your job. Be consistent. It is not easy and often discouraging. But when the time comes where you made a difference in someone else's life by taking your failures and offering a way of success in some other person's life the reward you have in your heart is worth more than what money could ever buy.
It takes time, persistence, dedication, patience, and forgivness.

Answer 4

Although some people may not find the most critical answer of themselves as a "best" answer, I would suggest you take heart to the answer that came from sheloves_dablues. You can't live your life blaming the system when at the end of the day, you still were convicted of criminal actions. My life sucks from time to time, but I don't commit crimes. I seek help or keep myself preoccupied with positive activities. Your past is just that. Think about the future and while you are at it, actively seek resolutions to that past so you can forget it and move on with that future that is so much more important than your past. Those who live in the past cannot progress into the future, they remain stuck. By becoming better in your present, eventually, someone in your future will see that, so your employment opportunities will only become better so long as you actively pursue the betterment of yourself.

Answer 5

Be thankful for what you DO have and focus on that.
Thank goodness you found out so early about BPD. My husband was ill all his life, and didn't KNOW what was the matter. He drank, to feel better and made it worse. He was 62 before he figured out what was wrong and got on meds. He takes them like communion now, every day.
If you are not seeing a mental health professional, and taking your meds like religion, start right now.
My son is paranoid schizophrenic and has been through what you are describing. He just got out of one year in jail for assault.
Someone loves you, somewhere. I won't believe that anyone ruined your life on purpose.
You are acting like a victim, and so everything that happens you see as a victim. You have to TURN that around yourself. Try to assume that other people don't even notice you! Try to assume they are busy with their own lives and mean you no harm. They are just clueless to your situation.
Try to forgive them and you and move forward. Every day, try to make some progress. Make a few calls, go to the library and do some research. Write down ideas you have to get out of UK.
At some point, even people with BPD have to be responsible for what happens NOW! You know you have to be on meds and talking to a counsellor. YOu know you have to be sober. You know you need to reach out to people who care about you, and tell them you are ok, and taking steps to get better.
You know these things to be true, and if you do not do them, you are going to continue your downward spiral. You will get sicker and sicker. Help is on the way, but you have to reach out.
Anyone with BPD should be able to get on disability and make a paycheck. Make some calls to local mental health office and ASK them what can be done to help you. You may have to go in and fill out papers or go to an interview. Whatever it is, DO IT!
Please understand that you have been given this strange illness,and that is one fact you know.
You can let it kick your butt, and make you a mess and ruin your life, or you can CHOOSE to take action to control your symptoms. YOU can decide. There is power in accepting that .
Get in any sort of talk group you can, to help you with these feelings of victimhood, and being helpless. They are just feelings. You don't have to let them be ALL you are.
Please take care of yourself and call your mother.
Good luck.

Answer 6

Its easy to blame others, but you will not succeed until you take responsibility for your own life. I know its tough when your upbringing has been bad and when you have made mistakes but you must put that behind you, grab life with both hands and make of it what you want. Make sure that your bi polar is being treated properly, once that is under control you will feel better. There is no concerted effort by people or institutions to spoil your life, but there are plenty of organisations that will want to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Look at the Princes Trust, they help people like yourself who have a desire to improve their own lot in life. Work at it, you can succeed. You are not ruined!

Answer 7

you have my full empathy, I fel so sad reading your posts becos you remind me so much of my own similiar problems or problems I had in the past...life is tough sometimes but we get tougher..

it's the system that labels & puts somewhat innocent people(becos they're the easy ones to catch) & the real criminals, who ruin people's lives & psychologically damage & abuse us, get away with murder..
it doesn't matter what people think, who gives a rat's *** about these people? they don't care about us & they certainly don't want the best for us, so why should we worry what they think? it's none of our business anyways what they tink...
what is important is what you think about yourself & what is the TRUTH...you know in truth you;re a good person & no-one can change that but yourself...the truth always comes out, rmemebr always, so don't worry about a bunch of ignorant people judging you, if we had to judge them, I'm sure we'd find lots of things...
if you can belive what you think about yourself is more imprtant than what others think (& it is much more important), then you'll win...
look at everything that has happened (& everything that does happen to you in life) to teach you sth, always ask, what is the lesson here? I know that is difficult sometimes becos we can't always find the answer, but once you ask the question, the answers will come to you...
in my (humble)opinion, this is life teaching you to become stronger, once you become stronger, these things will stop or go away for good...
be strong...
God bless you...

PS> please feel free to email me anytime if you need to chat.u'll always have a friend in me...

Answer 8

Don't let anyone tell you different. Society ruined your life with a smile on its face and a hand full of good kush

Answer 9

It sounds to me like you've had a lot of bad experiences and have made a lot of bad choices. The only way for you to fix your life is to take responsibility for it. The more you blame everyone else, the less you are doing to make it more positive. You don't have a criminal record you never wanted, you have a criminal record you earned by performing criminal acts. Take responsibility.

Answer 10

Go get some counselling.I had a terrible upbringing,but fortunately never resorted to crime.U need help to deal with the issues that made you who you are.Once you learn from these,u can start to enjoy your life again.U can get meds for BPD,see your doctor.I sincerely hope you get ur life back on track.We can all change hun,but it takes courage too. :)

Answer 11

Society controls us all. I can buy a piece of ground, thirty to forty acres. I want to build houses on it, I can not build a house on a three hundred by four hundred foot lots. I have to build on three to five acre plots. Rules and laws are what we live by, if you don't like them it is up to you to change them. I stand and rail against a wall but that wall will not move or fall, it only angers others and makes me feel bad. I don't like that!!!