Regardless of your belief system, do you feel defensive when someone challenges your ideas about reality?

Question

If so, what triggers this defense? Could it be that living in the Strength of Undivided Love, we discover that Love does not require belief, but it does require acceptance?

What about the idea that if you do not perceive yourself as 'weak' you have no need of attack? Love is the equalizer......

Ah yes, free from defensiveness, more time for tea! Sweet tea!

Cosmiclover Thanks for the comic relief!

gnostic, you talkin' ta me? You wanna step outside? lol

Answer 1

Not at all. Truth is I have a very strong system based on years of seeking & revelation, but I know I don't know everything. I will listen to all, seek out the truth, use it, & leave the rest. I usually do not try to actively convert others, or really even try to explain my beliefs unless directly asked, mostly because I really think how we live our life is the best explaination of how we believe, & secondly because I have learned it is always most effective to share with those that seek me out in real interest. Some may be called to preach, teach, or convert, I am not. I am called to be at peace & let that be my call to others. To me this takes most of my effort, to just truly live what I know & I am really not very good at that. Do you see me ascending, last time I checked I have not been informed that I am perfect yet.How can I be defensive about anything if I am still a work in progress in continued need to learn myself.

Answer 2

I make it a point to challenge my own ideas about reality as often as possible. If you assume you are correct then it would seem natural to feel defensive about your conclusions. If you assume you are wrong there is nothing to feel defensive about. That's not to say that I never get defensive about my beliefs, only that it is rare and difficult to bring about. Usually it happens when I am stuck.

I think this stems from a natural desire to be right. Think about some of the stupid arguments you have heard in your life where two people just HAVE to be right about something as trivial as which movie to rent. Or how about the classic example of miscommunication when one person says one thing and another person hears something different. I have seen knock-down drag-out fight as a resulf of this.

Add to this natural tendency the importance of a subject like this in a persons life and you have an immovable object (most of the time anyway). I believe there is one last factor that contributes heavily to this phenomena and that is evil spirits (or Demons if you prefer). As I mentioned in a previous answer, I think they feed off of this negative energy and work to encourage it whenever possible.

Have you ever been in a heated argument only to suddenly stop and wonder why you are arguing and how you got dragged into it in the first place? Suddenly everything seems clear and the argument seems stupid. My experience with evil spirits has always been like this. As soon as realization dawns, they vanish instantly, making you wonder if they were really there at all.

So we have a natural instinct, maginified by the seriousness of the subject, which is then built up further by the forces of evil. No wonder we can never agree on anything of a religious nature. And really what better way for Satan to attack us than to divide us by our faith, to use our most powerful beliefs against us. I hope all of you out there who routinely post trite, sarcastic, or downright mean comments here think about this. You are helping the bad guys win.

With love,
Shane K.

Answer 3

I do not honestly feel any need for a defence to be mounted when challenged. Many do not understand the Dhamma and I accept this as a matter of course.

Generally if challenged, I put forth an explanation and if it is not accepted, it is usually a matter of Faith seen as the reason and I therefore keep Noble Silence, accepting the other person's point of view as valid for them with no reason to force an incorrect view from their viewpoint. This would cause harm and from a Buddhist perspective a poor choice.

When asked, I choose honesty. When challenged I choose silence.

A Buddhist....

Answer 4

No. I believe that we each have our own realities, so why should someone share mine? Maybe my beliefs aren't as deeply grounded as others, or maybe I don't see someone having a different viewpoint or perspective to mine as an attack on me. I'm not sure what it is, just I'm not bothered.

But I guess if you're convinced your beliefs are 'right' doesn't that pretty much make everyone else's 'wrong'? And there seem to be plenty around here that are (perhaps a bit too) willing to 'defend' what they think is right. Whether they are or not. IMO
.

Answer 5

Sometimes. My defenses tend to go up more when the person challenging my beliefs is on the attack. I have to then internally calm myself down and try not to respond in the same manner to the challenger. Of course, I am not always successful...there are other factors that play into it (mood, kind of day I'm having, etc).

Answer 6

Having found my way here from "cybergardh" (the Asatru/heathenry corners of the internet) I already have a pretty thick skin, lol. After all, most online heathen debates proceed from two basic propositions:

1. You ain't the boss of me.
2. You're not doing that right.

But here on Y!A, I've discovered that, between the "crazy buggers" and the "soulless bastiges" is a rich middle ground of reasonable, articulate, and occasionally hilarious people worth listening to, whether we agree with each other or not. :-)

Answer 7

I used to... I think we all have at some point in our life.

Now, I just challenge right back! It can be a world of fun to get into a reality challenge! BUT, you do both have to come to terms (aka: Acceptance, as you said) with the fact that all you're really doing is justifying your own reality to yourself.

1st Person says, "This is my reality!"
2nd Person says, "Yeah, well this is my reality!"
1st Person says, "Oh yeah, well, that can't be my reality, because this is my reality!"
2nd Person says, "Ha! I just proved my reality right, to myself, because that isn't my reality, This is!"

And, Oh can those conversations be entertaining! LOL

Is that getting defensive? Nah! To me, you only become defensive when you don't/can't accept the other person's reality as being just as rightly justified -for them- as yours is for you.

When you DO come to be able to accept this -- and love the other person no matter what they say and/or believe -- these fun little "challenges" become nothing more than a divine comedic banter.

Then again, this COULD just be my reality on this subject! Anyone care to debate it? HEHE

{{{{{{{{{ Love Love Love }}}}}}}}}

Answer 8

Sure.

Feeling defensive is instinctual. When someone challenges you about anything, your instinctual response is that you are somehow being attacked.

It takes a lot of practice to hold that reaction back and actually listen to what the person is saying. It takes even more to really consider the other person's point of view and give a rational response to it.

Love has nothing to do, either way, with this instinctual reaction. That last question of yours is a non sequitor.

Answer 9

There's a definite lower brain reaction to being challenged.

Less instinctive bits of my brain realise that a good way to evaluate, test and upgrade my thoughts is to try them out in conversation and discussion with other people.
That means putting them in the marketplace (or even the arena), where of course they will be challenged, even ridiculed.

The latest pope has spoken on this, on the importance of and difference between respecting individuals and respecting beliefs.

I don't discuss love without a specific term of reference.
It means too many different things to too many different people.

Answer 10

Oh no I don't get defensive!
How dare you challenge my reality that I'm not defensive!
Because I'm not!
Really!
The nerve!

This Drama Queen rant was brought to you because of your insensitivity to my sensitivity about my own sensitivities.

Weird things happen when you giggle in the mirror too much.

Just came back from the Dentist.
I’ll be normal (well as close to normal as I get) shortly.


Blessed Be!