I am just getting back into the dating scene after a split w/ my ex-fiance two year so ofcourse I am rusty at flirting, dating, etc. I am an outgoing person & am not afraid to chat it up with a stranger. Several years ago, some friends of mine pointed out that I am friendly & talkative with men that I am not interested in and yet clam up & don't show any interest in the men that I am interested in. I recently noticed it & discover that they are right. I suppose it has to do with intimidation or shyness. I am comfortable with the men that I am not attracted to thus can talk to them for hours. The men that I am interested in barely hear two words from me, if that. My problem is that men get the wrong signals from me. Any advice? BWT I am in my late 20's. So please, adults answer only. Thanks for your input.
2007-07-25 06:44:57 · 7 answers · asked by Abby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are worried about rejection. If you flirt or speak with someone you don't care about and you strike out then it's much easier not to care than when the stakes are higher. Remember, it's just as easy to go for what you want and if you don't get it all the time that's OK.
2007-07-25 06:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by Fafeom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
like you flirt with the men you don't want because if they respond positively, you know you're attractive and if they reject you, then it's no big loss. With guys you like, though, the same chance that they'll reject you seems a lot bigger and the pain of rejection sucks any way you look at it.
This is a cycle that can be hard to break out of. The men you don't like aren't getting the wrong signals from you--you're flirting with them and when you cut them off, they'll consider you a tease and start to lose respect. And the guys you do like haven't a clue because you give them no signal at all.
Could be it's too soon to be dating. Dating is supposed to be a fun, relaxing, easy-going time and not stress-filled. You might just want to take a little more time to heal from your last relationship and get your self-confidence back. There's no rush, after all. Tale some time from flirting and concentrate on getting the rest of your life back on track as a single woman.
2007-07-25 14:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by Harmless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my experience i found that the places, people and even the clothes you wear can have a dramatic effect on confidence! try going to places your comfortable being in. another thing is surround yourself with friends that you can genuinely trust so you have that feeling of shelter. the last thing is, look at your wardrobe and pick something out to wear that makes YOU KNOW that you look good, don't even think of what anyone else thinks. basically what im saying is try to elminate all the little things that add to a lack of confidence. also, have a couple drinks or glasses of wine! don't get wasted, but enough to take the edge off and let your guard down.
2007-07-25 14:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch the news lately don't be 2 friendly with the crazes out there. Know who your flirting with. Those day of trusting everyone are gone. Be safe.I don't think being a tease is safe or funny.How about being yourself an talk as a conversion not a promotion.
2007-07-25 13:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sometimes the same way. I think the guys I am attracted to make me nervous. I guess I feel I need to make a good impression and I find it harder to relax. I am trying to be more open with guys I really like as I am to the ones i don't. Just try to be friendly and yourself in any conversation regardless if you like them or not otherwise I think sometimes when you are being quiet men think you don't like them.or a common one for me is they think i am taken!
2007-07-25 13:55:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of many reasons flirting is dumb. As well as giving and looking for hints, signs and signals.
Best advice I can give is stop flirting and communicate like an adult. Yep, it's hard at first which is why it's best to work on it as early as possible.
2007-07-25 13:47:51 · answer #6 · answered by elurle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ya i have an ex fiance of 4 years and so im a lil rusty too and i find myself doing the same i have no prob chatting up with sum guy but if like i met him in person and felt attracted to him i dont say much at all its prob def because im afraid of what he might think of me will he change his mind about me now that he seen me i dunno... see the ones your not attracted to your not worried about what they think of you but the ones you are attracted to you care what they think of you i would think...
2007-07-25 13:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by audrajean05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋