My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months. I have known him since kindergarten and we have been friends for two years now. He has always been so sweet to me, and has cared for me so much and has always been there to help me with whatever i needed. We never really touched eachother much before, we were both a little bit shy around each other but recently we've been going further. I let him finger me, we made out and he felt me up. He asked if i was okay with this because he didnt want to push me into things i didn't want to do. I told him it was okay but that I have no further intentions besides what we did and that i was uncomfortable with going further, he understood completely because we're both 14 years old. Was that too far to go in the first place? I don't want to seem slutty and I'm trying to make good desicions for the both of us. We've been talking 3-5 hrs on the phone every night and he has always inspired me to be a better person. Was this wrong of us?
2007-07-25 05:59:25 · 24 answers · asked by Emmie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We both love eachother very much and are very understanding to one another, we are aware of our young age but if we are responsible with our relationship is it still innapropriate?
2007-07-25 06:00:49 · update #1
Thank you for the great advice everyone,
overall this was a wrong desicion on both of our parts, so thanks for all of your help everyone and i'm very sorry if i gave out too much information.
2007-07-25 06:11:42 · update #2
Most people would say that you are too young and shouldn't. Although your boyfriend sounds like a good guy with an awesome head on his shoulders (especially at such a young age) and you seem to know your limits, it may be too soon if you're having second thoughts about how far you went, then you may have gone too far. Don't let anyone judge you and say that what you did was wrong, that is for you and only you to decide. I know kids your age who have done much more and much less than that... it all should be based on the individual. Also take into consideration what will happen when or if your parents were find out though. If you are willing to face all of the responsibilites and consequences that come along with what you are doing then I guess you are okay to be doing what you are comfortable with. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend!
2007-07-25 06:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I be very honest with you? I am a mom, and I just found out that I am having a daughter. I have been doing research so that I know what to say to my kids. My son is 9 and asking A LOT of questions.
But the whole of it all is this, your body is not mature yet.
I mean, I think maybe you should have waited, but I understand hormones and all. It is just that I worry about what would happen to your still maturing body, should you become pregnant.
Below is an article that I have read about the female body as well as the male body. In these articles it states that a male is mature between the age of 15- 18, so his penis is as big as it will ever get by this time. A female however, does not finish developing until she turns 18.
IN other words, he would be placing an almost fully developed penis inside of an undeveloped female vagina.
Maybe if you put the idea of sex away and just kiss and touch through clothing it would be OK, but officially...your body is not ready for a sexual relationship.
I hope I have helped, blessings to you.
P.S. I would honestly not put yourself in that position again. Because things could get carried away and you could get pregnant.
2007-07-25 06:14:00 · answer #2 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I'm concerned about is how long you are going to keep putting limitations on going any further? After you've done certain things, lust can sometimes get in the way of clear thinking and you may end up going farther than you want to sooner than you think. Are you okay with that?
I'm a firm believer in highschool sweethearts lasting, as I started dating my fiance when I was 14 (he was 16) and we have been together for 7 years now. At this point, please make sure your relationship does not become all about being physical. If you can maintain enough will power to not have intercourse, it may cause less stress for you in the future (no one needs a pregnancy scare, especially at 14).
I hope everything works out and you stay together for a long time.
2007-07-25 06:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by Morgan W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people tend to want to move forward in their relationship because they believe that they know everything about that person already.I know the situation you are going through because I have been in the EXACT SAME ONE, really I have.But in my case we had been going out for 11 monthes.Well,
he knows I don't plan on letting him get much further, and is completely alright with it.It depends on your intentions,and if you feel uneasy about it ask him what he thinks.
If he is the boyfriend you described then he will back off a little.Relationships can be changed due to the sexual related activities happening.I suggest you wait a while before doing any of this again.
Instead you should get an "If" book and find out many things you don't know about him and him about you.Try and learn each other through and through before trying anything.
Good Luck and hope you find some good advice in here.
Much Love.
2007-07-25 06:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by E.V. Carson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just as long as you two dont get caught up in the moment and do somethng you'll regret later on (sex -> babies -> too much responsibilities at a young age -> your life over), everything seems fine to me. you two are just two people in love i guess. but who initiated the "stuff" you two did? i know guys at that age, a lot of em think with the wrong "head". he might like you more than you like him, but since you two are really close, if he goes too far, let him know youre not down with that. if youre not ready, then youre not ready. imo, youre still way too young for anything serious like sex and whatever. just have fun with what youre doing and make sure you take control if ever things go outta hand.
theres always a risk when getting into a relationship with a long time friend, cause of the new/different things thats going on that you two arent use to. so hopefully things work out :)
2007-07-25 06:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by JIGGLY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess your gonna do what makes you happy anyway.. An dI am not trying to ag you on or anything. But I am from a small place in Iowa, and 14 is the age that we all start having boyfriends and expierencing things.. Just be careful though so that you don't go any further and end up pregnant.
2007-07-25 06:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it's good that you're being responsible about it, but fingering was probably too far. Making out and feeling up is common at that age, though. As long as you're comfortable with it. And your boyfriend doesn't think you're a slut, so just make sure that no one else finds out because they probably will. I remember in 7th grade when a girl got fingered in the gym one morning, it was really bad. Although she already had a really bad rep. Just make sure that you don't get caught up in the heat of the moment and do something you regret. Try to make sure that you know what you're getting into at all times. Stay responsible.
2007-07-25 06:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh... WAAAAAAY too far... You know that is illegal in some places, and mentioning this can lead to serious consequences?
You are by far under aged, and you do not know if either one of you has any diseases or not. I've had many friends who have been kicked out of house and home due to 'accidentally' having babies due to such actions. You can love each other, but... Think about what your parents both will have to say. You could be pulled away to never see him again. You could also suffer many problems. That was going beyond too far.
2007-07-25 06:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with your relationship. Every young person wants to sooner or later experiment with Sex in some way or another. You are lucky enough to do this with someone that you love and trust. Just be happy for now. You really don't need to go any further until you are both older. I am really happy to see that you have someone who loves you so much just the way you are........
2007-07-25 06:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by Herbert S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 is a little too young. i mean, who knows, it might work out between u 2 to be together forever. but most likely not. u guys haven't developed into who you will be eventually. people change. he sounds like a great guy, but i'd keep it under your clothes until you're a little older. if u guys really love each other, it shouldn't be a problem. if it is for him, then ur not meant to be (and u'll be better off) just take things slow and it'll all work out
2007-07-25 06:07:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋