long story short. lets just say a friend of mine a very close friend of mine she is older then i am. and we had some issues so we talked about the issues they were as follows : you should vs i feel, how she never asks interesting questions to show interest in my life i.e.:
Me: i asked for a rasie today
Her: did you get it
Me: no but they are giving more tools to help me advance my career in sales. It's my goal to go into sales now.
"""" she showed some interest""""
Her: i got to taste the potato saled!
Where did that come from! are we not talking about what i'm talking about any more you know once i'm don't talking about me you will have your turn to be all negivita and tell me what to do again!
she over helps and gets sad when i don't take her help
after the talk we had i thought things would be better but there not!
i love her so much BTW she is my mom. but if you read anything she rights it's always about her! then wonder why i'm her only friend.
2007-07-25 05:24:41 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
so the question is how can I learn to deal with this she isn't going to change I understand that now! but I don't want to be around her much either! but as i stated i'm for the most part her only friend!
the one friend she has is married and only comes over for some "Fun"
the other friend she has is her sister with and her kid --- they are not classy but we love them just dont' agree with there life style!
and her other sister who is more upclass not too stuck up but is responsable and clean!
then me!
I just don't know what i can do to not feel so unwanted by my own mother!
i'm not the perfect angel tho i snap at her some tiems (i have bitten my toungue a lot just today! )
i love her and i want her in my life i don't want something so minor to really effect how i feel about her but i am ! and i know she is hurt by that i'm sure she sees it! but what can i do!
2007-07-25 05:28:22 · update #1
so does that mean i should ignore my thoughts and feelings to make her happy?
when will i get my money to start to build a nest egg or go back to school?
2007-07-25 05:53:56 · update #2
This is why I don't believe its healthy for mothers and daughters to be friends. Your mom is your mom, and her role is to be encouraging, supportive, and nurturing. Its not her role to be a friend, some times a mom needs to tell you things, or advise you on things that a friend would or could not. Sounds like most of this is coming from you and you are simply blaming it on your mom. She may not now what to say to you, and she may feel like she needs to fix things for you, her child to be happy. It takes years of practice to learn to change the role from childhood to adulthood, and they don't give you a book with instructions.
What I heard was disappointment, you didn't get the raise you asked for. I, as a mom, would have had a struggle with that because it would make me want to strike out at your boss for not giving my little girl the raise she needs. That's what I would have said on the inside, outside, I might have done what your mom did, change the subject. You might have to tell her that you just want to blow off steam, you don't want her to fix things for you. You just need her to listen, and when she changed the subject, you got the impression she wasn't listening.
I know you love your mom, and she obviously loves you, but you need to seriously redefine your relationship now that your roles in life have changed. You can still be close and have fun together, and go to her for advice (I even ask my daughters for advice once in a while), but the whole "best friend" thing is confusing your dynamics.
2007-07-25 05:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awesome. Another pointless drama problem.
I wish I had your problems.
2007-07-25 12:28:00 · answer #2 · answered by VoirDire 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋