All we asked is that they do their own laundry, keep their rooms cleaned etc. I almost have to beg them to do this most the time. We love them both-but sometimes they drive me nuts! What do you think might help?
2007-07-25 05:19:58 · 31 answers · asked by Tammy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just let them know in a nice way that by living under your roof (rent free) that they need to take the responsibility of keeping their areas cleaned and cleaning up after themselves in the common areas. If you continue to clean up after them and do their laundry then you are just enabling them to continue their behavior.
Tell them that you will no longer be doing their laundry - or cleaning up after them. If they are engaged (an adult decision) then they need to act like adults. Also remind them that you are helping them by letting them live there without paying rent (do they buy groceries or anything) and if this behavior continues maybe you will have to think about charging them rent....
If you stop doing their laundry they will have to eventually do it themselves - and same goes for the other things as well - maybe let them keep their room a mess - keep their door closed and let them be aware of the mess they have created - hopefully this will kick them into gear!
2007-07-25 05:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by Ilikepinepple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to do their part or they'll have to find their own place. My fiance and I lived with my parents AND his parents when we were younger (high school), and we did our own laundry, kept the house clean, and cooked a few nights a week. Next time-don't beg. Just say "fine, don't do it. You can find a new place to live". This may sound harsh, but you're doing them a favor by letting them live there and it sounds like they're just using you. Put your foot down!
2007-07-25 12:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by Kim B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them know exactly what they are expected to do and give them a definite time frame to get it done. For instance, let them know that leaving dirty laundry lying around for over a week in not acceptable.
Tell them that from now on, should you have to do the laundry because they have not done so within the agreed upon time, you will charge them for it along with any other household chore that is their responsibility.
2007-07-25 12:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by alo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit them down and be very direct. Tell them you love them, and you want the best for them, but that this is your home and that as long as they are in YOUR HOME, they need to follow the rules. Do not clean after them and do not do their laundry. If you enable, they are not learning. Also, this arrangement needs to have a time limit that is set in stone. Once it comes, you need to have them move out. If they intend to get married, they had better learn to be independent and responsible, or you will find yourself with a family of 3 in your house before you know it. If you love them, as you profess, be tough...That is what is best for them.
2007-07-25 12:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by catherine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband should take a little vacation away from home and leave the house and all the responsibilities with them. That would be the telling tale as to whether or not they deserve the luxury of your hospitality. If they do nothing productive, then it'll prove that they really don't care and are just a lazy couple. They'remarried now so they have to learn responsibility even if it means you having to charge them rent or setting a few rules/guidelines for them to follow.
2007-07-25 13:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be honest with them....let them know that you are sick and tired of their living habits and if they are to remain with you, they need to follow your rules. Are you charging them rent? Do they help with the house hold bills? If not, start charging them with something. If they are putting some money in the house, maybe they will start treating it with some respect. You can also stop supporting them. Make sure that they find thier own way of eating. They have to have thier own phones and stuff like that. How old are they?
2007-07-25 12:35:03 · answer #6 · answered by crodriguez1010 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not do this for them.If they are old enough to get married they are old enough to do right by you.Write a list of rules for them sit down with the whole family and read them out loud,give them a copy and let them know follow the rules or get your own place,Don't back down,Our kids will see how far they can get.Be tough.
2007-07-25 12:27:29 · answer #7 · answered by fernwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the door closed. if you find their dirty laundry, trash, belongings or whatever where they are not supposed to be- open the door, throw the stuff in, close the door. its your home- your rules. do not ask again. assuming they are living rent free (always a mistake), they already know they are taking advantage of you, so they just keep it rolling. charge them even nominal room and board. they can still save money- maybe just not quite as qiuckly. people generally take better care of the things they pay for.
2007-07-25 12:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by shar71vette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there old enough to play house than get 1 unless the next adventure is a baby. Your not teaching them respect as your there maid mom mom.Engaged there living with you let them learn on there own an see if there eng=== in a year.The real world is not easy.How old are they??
2007-07-25 12:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either making them pay rent, or putting a timetable to move out.
Your son is falling into old habits since he grew up with you. Most people do it when they move back in with the parents.
Alternatively, just stop doing their stuff for them. Eventually, they'll run out of laundry, or be unable to enter their room, and without you to help out, they'll have to do it themselves.
Bottom line, stick to your guns.
2007-07-25 12:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by jargent100 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋