I was hanging out with my boyfriend last night. And I told him that I love him (nothing unusual) and he said he loved me. Then he said what are you going to do when I get another job and move (he has been trying to find a different job in some other states). I said I don't know. He said will you move with me. I said yes. Then I told him that I didn't know what to think because a couple weeks ago he was talking to place in Hawaii about a job. I suddenly realized that he was really going to leave. He again said that I could move with him but then said he knew my family would disown me if I did which they probably would since we're not married. I said yeah they'd disown me. He said I don't know, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I agreed. I know he wouldn't say that he wanted me to move with him if he didn't mean it but I wanted some other perspectives. What do you make of this?
2007-07-25 04:49:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is testing the waters for your reaction! He can see that he will be leaving sooner or later, so it sounds like he wants you to come with. It is very tough moving across the country alone, I know!
2007-07-25 04:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by drakekse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would say if you are under the age of 20,21 do not go. Also I would say get married first then move. I do not doubt that you love him and he loves you, what I doubt is the ability to make a conscience decision to leave everything you know on that fact that you will even be together in a year. How much money do you have,? Is he willing to provide for you, be your supporter,? Do you have backup plans,? What happens if things go sour? All I am saying is look at the whole layout. Do not make your choice on love alone or feeling that you are going to miss him or be lonely or not find someone else.
2007-07-25 11:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by bobbo342 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I make of it. Assuming you are 18 or over then its your life to do with as you please. Your family will understand even tho it may take them a while. If this guy is who you believe you want to spend your life with then you must trust your heart.
Adult means making adult decisions. If you are still in doubt then open up and ask the guy just exactly what his intentions are but be prepared with your own answer as he may ask you the same. And by all means be truthful, open and honest with each other about what you two are discussing.
Now, if u are under 18 then stay where you are until u turn 18. Your parents wouldn't "disown" you if you are of an adult age and making adult decisions, as they will always be your parents no matter what they say.
2007-07-25 11:58:46 · answer #3 · answered by junkyarddogfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its always tricky in relationships when all over sudden something comes up and you are supposed to make a decision that will break up your relationship either way. i.e with your boyfriend or with your parents.
The most important thing for you to think about right now is you.
Is your moving on with your boyfriend going to disrupt any part of your life like job, college, or something like that.
If that is the case then you need to seriously assess the situation and ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice all that so that you can be with him.
It would also be good to know if he would move in with you if it was you looking for a job somewhere else.
2007-07-25 11:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Oscar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look first of all listen very careful. if you really wanted to stay with him for the rest of your life yes why not, just save some big cash enough money if he goes there for a month and he's not working he could still live. and when he found a job that could paid for everything now you could move with him, and find yourself a job too.
but if you really in love with him ,and you are not so sure he's love with you don't do it. because there's no turning back. and that's a very dispointing thing to do to your family if they 're told you not to go ,and you decided to desobey them. that's mean if things decided to go bad you can never go back .------ the reason i told you to read that is because he gave you a choice .and when you love someone you make sacrifies for that person you don't give that person choices. now think about it byeeeeeeeeeeeee.
2007-07-25 12:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by marcel m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving to another state is kinda a big comitment considering you two aren't married. Maybe you could try long distance for a while, cuz being disowned by your family is no laughing matter and should never be taken lightly.
2007-07-25 11:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by crazy_young_folk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Do you have your own place? Do you have a job?
Yes to the last two would make things easier.
Moving to place a great distance away is a big step.
If something happens and you breakup you'll be along way from home.
on the other hand, long distance relationships don't work.
2007-07-25 12:01:20 · answer #7 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
going off of experience.. i moved out with my boyfriend against my parents' wishes... i didnt speak to them for 3 years... then after being with my boyfriend for 5 years found out he had been cheating near the end of our relationship. point is.. no matter how strong you feel your bond is with your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other.. whatever.. family is blood, and i regret everyday that i hurt them the way that i did. i would not recommend it. try discussing it with your parents first if this is something that you really want to do. see if there is some agreement or understanding that you can come to with them where they may be able to accept this situation.. OR.. if he is willing to live with you and have you move away from all your friends and family... what is he going to give YOU? a ring? food for thought....
2007-07-25 12:04:15 · answer #8 · answered by krys1319 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i know what you mean. i would want to go too but my parents do not want me to move in with someone until we're married. which i mean i dont disagree with. just take it one day at a time. if you really love him then dont let your relationship fall....
2007-07-25 11:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by c dyan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might say that if he wanted to keep you available while he is still here. I would advise against moving when not married. to lose your family and what if it didnt work out? if you are young you will find someone else dont sell yourself short.
2007-07-25 11:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋