My mothers fiancee...?

Question

My mom is engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years...
my sisters and the rest of our family all hate him.
My mom divorced our dad to be with him..
and cheated on our dad with him.
I'd say 60% of my family's problems come from him and my mothers relationship.
The sad part is my mom isn't in love with him.
She constantly complains about him and she never wants to talk about their wedding.
When she has been drinking she doesnt even want to talk about him.
I'm not completely sure why they are together but I'm pretty sure it's for the extra money...
because there is really no other reason for her to stay with him....

So.. my question...
What can I say to my mom to show her she can do better and doesn't have to marry him and we can be fine together...her a me and my sisters...?
We don't have a good relationship so it's hard to talk to her about this kinda stuff.
Also...my mom has had like 3 boyfriends in her life and she married the first 2 and is engaged to the 3rd one.
HELP!

My mom is not an alcoholic.
And I'm 16.

Answer 1

talk to her about it say that you CAN be better alone with the family than with her fiancee.

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you have to go through your mother's growing up process but there really is not a lot that you can do. If it would make you feel better, you could voice your concerns to her and let her know where you stand. But, most likely, she's going to go ahead and marry him anyway.

When you get older, you start to realize that your parents are only human and they are going to make mistakes like everyone else. Try to be smart and learn from hers so you don't become destined to repeat them.

You can hope that you mother learns in time but it's not your place to change her. Just love her in spite of her choices and focus your energy on making your own like what you want it to be and not just what you've seen.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

First off, how old r u? because if you are an adult, it would be in your own interest to get ur own place. Your mother is a grown woman, who will probably rebel by you stepping into her relationship. You seem very mature, just try and live ur own life and ignore her relationship, get on ur feet and bail, but always keeping your mom's best interest at heart.

Answer 4

You can tell your mom how you feel but she might go ahead and get married regardless. The reality: sometimes grownups need help financially. While you say your mom doesn't love her fiance and is only marrying him for the financial help, truth be told - she probably does care enough about him to marry him (is it love - there are degrees of love) and she probably needs the help financially. It's part of life.

Answer 5

You are not responsible for your mother's alcoholism and her subsequent poor choices of men. She is bound to repeat the same mistakes she has made in the past and sadly, there is not one thing you can do to prevent it.

I wish I could be more optimistic - but you need to look after - and be responsible for yourself now.

You can, however, go to Al-anon or Al-a-teen - both excellent support groups for the loved ones of alcoholics.

Please attend at least one meeting. At least you will know you are not alone.

Answer 6

Sorry to say but your moms relationship is hers. Your opinion should count to some extent but if she wants to marry him shes going to marry him. Its just like when you start dating someone you don't want anyone to be tell you otherwise. Just let your mom deal with her situation and don't get in her business unless she wants you to be. If she wants to talk to you she knows where you are, Shes a big girl.

Answer 7

I hate to say this, but I dont think there is much that you can do...she is an adult, and unfortunately some adults do not make good decisions when it comes to relationships...

The next time she complains about him, say something like, "Then why are you dating him, mom?"....that might get her thinking.

Good luck!