Which is it...booty call, frienship, or both?

Question

I've been talking to this guy for a few months. We're not in a relationship but have sex every so often.

At first it was just a booty call thing but now we haven't been having sex so much and he wants to talk to me every night. He's made it clear that he has other girls, so I know he doesn't want a relationship.

We have conversations that last for hours and talk every night. What does he want from me? I'm getting mixed signals.

Answer 1

hmmm...ive def. been in the same situation...first the booty call then you start to get to know each other...my situation turned into a relationship...im with my bf now for a year and we were just booty calls at the beginning...maybe he wants to settle down but has commitment issues...obviously he likes you more than a booty call...if hes calling and talking to you for hours...men dont talk on the phone for hours..atleast the ones i know dont...my bf used to but know its like 2 mins and then sumtimes he hangs up with out telling me bye or anything soo id let things keep going as they are and wait and see the result...i personally think sumthing will become of you to but thats just me...good luck

Answer 2

Booty call for sure. And you be careful what type of relationships you get involved in, okay? Do you know that often this is how girls are set up to sell their bodies for money?

You need to get more out of this relationship. The time you spend talking on the phone is time he could use to take you to dinner, movie, club or somewhere. And admitting he has other girls is kind of yucky anyway. How do you know how careful he is?

Listen, if you want a relationship try to get one with someone else. He has already stated that he is not the one. Why do you get mixed signals? It's all pretty clear.

Answer 3

It is just a friendship. I have had guy friends like this. I have a couple now, where at first it was just sex, but now it is just talk. We have such good conversations. We talk about everything. I have one now that we meet every other Tuesday for a drink after work. I still find very sexually attractive but, I can take or leave the sex. Human interaction and conversation are more important. People do need to talk more, it cuts down on having to go to a therapist all the time.

Answer 4

You have to decide what you want, and then let him know. If he wants the same thing, then continue to talk to him...if not, let it go and find someone else who wants the same thing you do.

Don't ever settle for being number 3 or 4 or 5...or even #2. You deserve to be the one and only...and guys will take what they can get...if you accept that you are not one and only, then that is what they will do...they will take what you give them.

Believe that you are one and only material, and dont' take any of the other crap...are you really ok with being just a booty call? Don't you think you deserve more? Don't you think you deserve the best and to be treated that way?

You are a diamond...not a cubic zirconia.

Answer 5

I don't think the signals you are getting are mixed because he has told you straight out that he doesn't want in a relationship.
That doesn't mean he doesn't like you. In fact it sounds like the complete opposite. It sounds like he does like you.
It doesn't sound like a booty call to me because of the conversations you do have with him. If it were just a booty call, he wouldn't want to be bothered with you at any other time.
Maybe he's interested in you but not a relationship. That doesn't mean that tomorrow he won't change his mind.
When relationships start out as friendships, that's a good sign, they usually are the strongest relationships.
So you already have the friendship part of it, just give the rest time and see what happens.
But no I don't think it's "just a booty call". :)

Answer 6

He's wanting to be friends (which isn't a bad thing). He's getting booty elsewhere. Those girls will come and go (no pun intended). But, he obviously feels a connection with you. This is a "friends with benefits" situation. Whether that will turn into a true relationship, who knows. But, you are one step higher than the booty call girls.

Answer 7

Booty call and friendship. Men can do that easily. If he hasn't stopped dating other girls chances are he might not plan to stop and he is just enjoying your company. You MIGHT find that your grow closer and it becomes something else but when your accepting of such an open relationship chances are he wont offer it to you...why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free.
If you want something more you need to state that in order to get that. Men don't read minds he might think you don't want anything else because your ok with things as is.

Answer 8

Perhaps the more important question is WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HIM? Are you looking to be someone's occasional booty call and emotional friend while he is out with several other women? If you are, you have the perfect situation. If this is not what you want then you are being used. You have the choice to be what you choose. Personally, I think you deserve better.

Answer 9

Maybe you are someone that he knows he can settle down with when he is ready to settle down. At first like you said that you were a booty call but you must have touched him in some way. Or he maybe having sex with the other girls and just keeping you around just incase they leave him. But I think its the first one.

Answer 10

Sounds like he mostly wants friendship, dear. Doesn't mean he won't make another booty call in the future, but as you said, he has other girls. He probably has his choice of girls to sleep with, but seems that he enjoys conversations with just you.

PS: I'd call it a friendship, to myself and others, until he said it was something more. Even then, I'd be careful about getting involved in a permanent relationship with him. Make sure he chooses to be with one person instead of letting him make you just another notch on his belt.