i am a 16 year old christian. is it ok for me to date a non christian if i am trying to lead him to christ?

Question

im a girl! i dont want to date him just to make him a christian, i want to dat him because i like him. but it says in the bible that we shouldnt be yoked with non beleivers, thats why i'm asking!

Answer 1

I personally don't believe it is a problem for a Christian to date a non Christian, BUT I don't recommend pushing or forcing your beliefs on them. Don't date them to change who they are.
If they show interest and are not adamant on being atheist (or other) then by all means lead them to Christianity. (ONLY if it is his wish to do so and it is in his heart)
If there is no interest at all and they are strict on their belief and ideals then don't force it. It is hard to try and co mingle though as a Christian and non Christian unless you can both accept each other for who you are and what you believe in.
I tried and he just kept trying to force me into his Atheist beliefs. I didn't feel complete, not having God involved in all aspects of my life. He always scoffed at my beliefs and had no belief in the power of prayer.
I was not about to force what I believed to be right on him. He is after all entitled to what he wants or doesn't want.
I eventually met a man with a strong belief and strong relationship with God and even though we were from different churches and raised differently in out Christianity we both knew God was part of our lives. We are married now 5 years.

Answer 2

First of all, I commend you for asking on this question. It takes wisdom to seek advice rather than just go with whatever you think you should do!
Second, please don't take this as me trying to tell you what to do. I'm just going to share my experience with you, to maybe give you some insight!

I would not recommend dating this guy. He may be a great guy, but in such a close relationship, it is much easier to give in to his morals than to stand up for yours. Part of the reason the Scriptures say that you shouldn't be unequally yoked is that it creates strife when you are not in agreement. And if you are not in agreement with the most important aspect of your life, that creates issues.

I am one of those who never dated until I wanted to marry someone as I wouldn't want to invest myself romantically into someone I would not be spending my life with. Let me tell you, it paid off and was every bit worth the wait. My wife and I walked down the aisle as virgins and our wedding day was the first time we ever even kissed on the lips. Again, it was well worth the wait because we have such a pure and close relationship. The only hinderences that we have come across are the insecurities created from past things that we shouldn't have done.

Dating creates a deep emotional attachment that can cause you to have to make difficult choices that you don't want to make. You have your whole life in front of you. Some people say that you need to live your life to the fullest and that means date everybody you can. I lived a very full teenage life, and I didn't even date til I was 22. Don't get scared by that, it really wasn't as bad as it sounds. It may be nice to have someone to be close to, to hold you and to be in that relationship with, but being single actually has quite a few advantages to it that are easy to ignore when you want a boyfriend (or girlfriend in my case).

The biggest truth in all of this is that the Spirit of God is inside of you. He teaches us to hear His voice by giving you His peace on the decision you should make. If there is any confusion in your heart, it is not from God.
Don't ever stop seeking wisdom and hold to your faith with all that you are!

Answer 3

As a youth pastor's wife, I can tell you from personal experiences that IT NEVER WORKS. We've had Christian students date non-believers in the past - they always claim that they're trying to witness to them or convert them, but like I said, IT NEVER WORKS. you're right on with the verse you mentioned.. Jesus mentions not being yoked with unbelievers for a reason! It's not just for romantic relationships either - it's also applicable for friendships! when you're trying to uphold a standard in your life (like not drinking, being moral, etc. etc.) it's not healthy to surround yourself with people who could care less. I would say 99% of time one of our students has dated a non-believer, it wasn't them who converted their non-Christian friend.. it was always the other way around! He will probably just pull you down or convince you to compromise your own beliefs and standards.. you're walking on dangerous territory.

I say it every time - if you're having doubts, don't do it! It's probably the holy spirit/God telling you not to do it. Just listen to Him.

Answer 4

If you actually like this boy and care for him, you should respect his beliefs, even if they're different from your own. If you get into a religious discussion with him, fine. And if, eventually, he comes to his own decision to become a Christian, also fine. But it's morally and ethically irresponsible for you to date this boy for the purpose of converting him. You're using him and there's nothing Christian about that!

Answer 5

No, it's not okay. It's dishonest to use romance in order to try to manipulate a person into joining your faith. Furthermore, it clouds the issue. If the boy is going to choose Christ, he has to do it because of Christ, not because some pretty girl is making him feel all warm and fuzzy.

Answer 6

Leave the guy alone. If you are that concerned about only dating your own kind, then find someone of your own kind. There are plenty enough Christian guys for you to pick from, you don't need to ruin the rest of the good ones.

Answer 7

No it's not OK .You're not dating this person because you genuinely like them ,you have an entirely different reason for dating them in mind and that is dishonest and shows a total lack of character on your part.

Answer 8

The only reason you date people is to figure out if youre going to marry them. If youre at all wise, you wont marry an unbeliever based on the verse you mentioned. So why would you date him? His idea of dating is different than yours.

Witness to unbelievers, dont date them and especially dont marry them. If you really think hes a great guy and like him then youre looking at earthly things and not spiritual.

Answer 9

There are other ways of trying to bring someone to Christ. Him not serving God would consider him being in a different yoke than you. As much as you want to date him take my advice and don't until he serves God the same way you do. Pray for him to change his ways, not for you to be his girl, but so that he can understand the beauty there is in serving God as you do.

Answer 10

1. Date whomever you want.

2. Do not try to convert him. DO NOT try to convert him. You will ruin the relationship pretty much from the getgo if thats the only reason you're going out with him.

3. Let me emphasise this again... DO NOT TRY TO CONVERT HIM! You are setting yourself up for alot of pain and suffering.

4. You need to learn to accept people as they are, not for who you want them to be. Its part of growing up.

5. You cannot start a relationship with a person with the intent to change them into what you want them to be. It doesn't work.