my friend is getting married and her parents asked her to wait a year (just had a baby with the father) but since she wants to get married ASAP her parents arent paying for anything. my best friends mom runs a catering business and offered to help out the bride so she wont have to shell out tons of her own money for everything (giving her a 50% off discount which is beyond reasonable) and the bride stated last nite (wedding is in october) that she isnt going to tip the dj, the caterer (aka our friends mom) or anyone else who is involved because she wants to "keep things in budget"..that is SO tacky and rude in my opinion. she said she doesnt HAVE to tip anyone. my friend is upset because her mom is going out of her way and doing the bride a favor and she wants to tell her mom whats going on but her mom will cancel if she feels she is being taken advantage of (which she is!!) what do we do? should we try to change bridezillas mind or keep our mouths shut and let her look rude?
2007-07-25 03:38:26 · 19 answers · asked by jennybean7985 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
the bride has more then enough money..she and the father support the child and both make very good salaries...she is cutting corners because she figures that since she knows the caterer, the dj and the florist (all friends of hers or parents of friends of hers) then she shouldnt have to tip them..she feels tipping is for strangers not for friends/family
2007-07-25 03:58:06 · update #1
She sounds both rude and unappreciative. I would tell your best friend's mom to back out for the simple fact that she has no intentions of tipping her. I'm sure that some money will be coming out of her own pocket too and plus it makes you look somewhat bad for referring her. For your best friend's mom to cater her wedding at a very low price is a very thoughtful gesture and who wants to work for prettty much free. However, for this friend of yours to take advantage of her kindness is a slap in the face. The bride's theory of tipping is only intented for just strangers is absurd and the whole background of tipping is to show your appreciation for anyone who provides you service. Your friend sounds very selfish and almost like a spoiled brat. I totally agree with you, she is a rude bride.
2007-07-25 07:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've DJ'd a few weddings, and I've never been tipped. Each wedding has been for a friend on a budget and I would not have expected or wanted more than the agreed upon amount to do it. Being that the caterer understands the budget issue I would think there won't be a problem. I didn't even know it was etiquette to tip all those folks. I am getting hooked up on my wedding next week by my fiance's cousin that is a wedding photographer. He is doing it at cost for us and we plan on getting him a nice thank you gift.
2007-07-25 03:53:29 · answer #2 · answered by Phishr 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that should be her decision if she decides to tip or not. It seems like you are making the decision for her to have to tip. Even if they both make good salaries, maybe they have high bills. I'm sure you don't know their complete financial situation. I didn't realize it is considered to be taken advantage of if you don't get a tip. I thought being taken advantage of would be if the people gave her a discount and then at the end she said she didn't have all of the money can they give her a bigger discount. Maybe what you consider as being rude, other people won't. I would just keep my mouth shut and if the people involved feel she was rude, then that's how they feel.
2007-07-25 04:38:58 · answer #3 · answered by Zahira B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well...if your friends mom is already agreeing to do it for half off she's already aware that the bride is short on funds and probably dosen't expect a tip....the bride...if she's a decent person will instead get this woman a nice Christmas gift or a thank you gift after the fact...As far as dj's go I've never heard of the dj getting tipped by the married couple...often times guests will tip the dj if they enjoyed the music that was played
2007-07-25 03:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by rhifer22 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well number one, if she already had a child witht he groom, what is her hurry, that is kinda a waste. Next It is not your friends moms, or any of your responsibility to take care of her and coddle her just because she feels she needs to get married asap. I would mention to the bride that especially for those people who are giving her a deal that they shoudl tip them... there are probally plenty of areas where they could cut some money... I know a wedding is supposed to be perfect, but that is wrong...
If you feel the need to let her be the rude bride, I would probablly tell the friends mom who is catering the situation, maybe then she can cut back a little on her cost somewhere... Wow, what a bummer
Good Luck
2007-07-25 03:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by kityjane2 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
generally the prices are high enough-you shouldn't have to tip--however, since the caterer is giving 1/2 off she might throw in a tip there. my whole suggestion is just have a VERY small & SIMPLE wedding without catering, etc. It's not how much everything cost that gets you married! Why start your married life out in debt (especially when you already have a family).
2007-07-25 03:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by Tammy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In some countries, giving a tip is not part of their vocabulary. However, in the U.S.A people feel pressured to do so, when a tip is supposed to be given to someone who offer a good service, no good service-no tip.In regards to your friend, she is right she does not HAVE to tip anyone, tips are voluntary contributions. Since the people involved are"close" to her they should understand this situation and perhaps she can give them some kind of gift later when she can afford it.But only if she wants to, no-body should be forced to give a present or a tip.
2007-07-25 04:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by tatys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likey she has no money at all to pay for the tip. Because there paying for most of the wedding them selfs. So that might be the only way they can pay for it. What could be even worse is that there most likey going over budget anyways and you havit even talked to her about why she is not going to tip. Do you know how frusted she must feel right now. She has a baby, she had to pay for a wedding and they have a low budget.
2007-07-25 03:58:47 · answer #8 · answered by whitehawk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This isn't really an issue unless you make it. The bride is right, she's got a new baby and has been offered this discount. If she were to tip she may as well not have gotten the discount at all.
Is it possible you're being insensitive in not realizing maybe she can't afford to do so?
2007-07-25 03:45:01 · answer #9 · answered by lovely 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Let her look rude. Hopefully by then she'll have a change of heart and realize the deals she is getting from these very generous people and do the right thing.
If she doesn't change her mind by then, it will come back to bite her in the butt and she will have a lot of rebuilding to do with those broken bridges.
2007-07-25 03:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by krzychk30 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋