My son is three years old, and since he came back from his Dad's he hasn't been sleeping, or behaving. He is defiant, and refuses to comply with rules, punishments. Anyone else seen this happen in their child?
2007-07-25 03:33:52 · 7 answers · asked by vaughnc5920 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
In response to the idea that this is somehow me blaming my child for anything... not at all. I am worried about something being wrong with him that I am not seeing.
2007-07-25 03:40:25 · update #1
My ex left us when he was 13 months old. He lives in a different state now with a new wife and baby. He only sees my son every six to eight months or so. I can't get a straight answer out of him about behavior when he is at his house, but I do know that each time he goes there, my ex brings him home a few days earlier than scheduled. I want my son to feel safe, and loved, but I can't defy a court order for visitation, and i have to work full time to feed us. I spend two hours each night playing and reading stories, then on the weekend we go somewhere special....
2007-07-25 04:15:16 · update #2
That's a really big problem when a child must live with divorced parents; one parent does one thing and the other does something completely different. I really feel for you.
You really need to talk to your ex and let him know what's going on and that HE needs to change his parental practices because it's causing a negative effect on your son.
If he does not change - then only allow him to visit your son in a neutral place without taking him home with him.
2007-07-25 04:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm going to assume that you share custody with the father. I am also divorced and have a 4 year old son that acts the same way! It's very hard when your child goes to another home with different rules, discipline, etc. You just have to keep on top of how you do things in YOUR home. Can you talk to the father and come up with a way that both of you can discipline, etc, in the same fashion? Also, I just took my son to the doctor on Monday and she watched him for awhile. He was very active, didn't listen to me, and back talked me. The doctor said he was normal, just a little high strung. She told me to get him some responsibilities. A chore chart and behavior chart. When he does something on either chart...put a sticker up. And whenever he didn't mind or didn't do something I asked, to point to the chart and say "the chart says you didn't pick up your room today" or "the chart says you didn't mind very well today". This way the "chart" is telling him and not me. That way he won't always look at me like the "bad guy". Of course if he is out of hand, he will still get time out or something taken away from him (like a favorite toy or activity.) I hope this helps you out some. It so hard co-parenting!
2007-07-25 10:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by Chelle C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's assume you and your ex are good people. I hope you and your son's father are adult enough to discuss discipline maturely. You should have similar rules on what is permitted and what is not. Both of you should respect the other as a parent of your child, and not try to undermine each other's efforts. Both of you should have realistic expectations of normal three year old behavior. They want to explore and will push you to the limit. Fear of punishment is not a great motivator of good behavior. Neither of you wants accusations of abuse. Some of his defiance may be that he wants to be with his dad AND his mom. Does he act the same way when he is with his father?
2007-07-25 11:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by greydoc6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, as you know a broken home can be quite stressful for a child.
ie. 2 sets of rules( or lack of them) etc.
But because children are so resilient, it can be conquered.
Just be patient,consistent and firm when he comes home.
He will fall right back into his more disciplined environment soon. Also, you can be proactive with him before he leaves for his dad's. Without saying anything against his father,tell him you expect him to behave properly at his dad's even if the rules are different (or non existent)
You would be surprised how early your child understands some things.
Above all, patience and firmness.........two very important ingredients for you child in this situation.
2007-07-25 10:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this behavior has just surfaced after he has spent time in another home you may want to check into how he was treated there. He may be acting out after being abused in some way.
2007-07-25 10:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
his dad has not been able to make him do whatever he requests of him so ,instead he rants and curses leaves the room or gets a drink. this man is a whimp when it comes to ordering a child around,he doesn't communicate well enough or convincing enough for a 3 year old. it takes less than a week but you must tell jr there that he's back home and that stuff is not and won't be tolerated at home. daddy's a slacker with a deep impression.
2007-07-25 10:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by soulrbl34 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I can tell right away that the problem is with the both of you, and it's not right to place blame upon a 3 year old.
"Comply with rules and punishments?" Who are you, the SS? And what is the story behind your divorce, where there's not an enviroment of love in the family?
2007-07-25 10:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by Joseph C 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋