Question for Chrsitans, by a Christian...?

Question

How does a woman that was a victim of rape begin to make sense of her existence with Christ in her life?
How is she supposed to live with herself, knowing that if her perpertrator repents for all his horrible crimes, he too can enjoy heaven?
How is she to have any sense of justice and peace, knowing this?

And sorry about the typo in my question! eek.

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you . What a horrorable situation to be in.
It's 12:30 am here and i am to tired to going to scripture but i want to say he will pay one way or another.
He may repent but god can read the heart and it will have to be genuine.

Answer 2

Tinkerbell,
He will answer for his crime to GOD. Whether or not he repents and becomes a Christian. I know how you feel. I have been subjected to some things that I would rather NOT discuss here and my perpetrators also have an opportunity to do so. I believe that GOD has given all of us the opportunity to be in heaven and be freed for the sins that we committed here. HE also wants us to forgive those sins, no matter how difficult that may seem to you now. I have done so and hope that they do find peace in HIM. That will insure that they do not repeat their crimes against others on this earth. Our GOD is awesome! Please try to find forgivness. It is one of the most difficult lessons that I had. You are a beautiful person. You must be or GOD would not have you as a Christian, a CHILD OF GOD! Have a better day today than yesterday. Tomorrow should get better. I am hopeful that you are eventually able to study HIS WORD in peace and find the forgivness that you deserve. Read, study, and obey HIS WORD. If I may assist you in any way, PlEaSe write and I will answer.
Thanks,
Eds (A simple Christian)



.

Answer 3

Living a Christian Life we are to "Love our Neighbor as ourselves" this love is extended to all humans, why the greater you forgive the greater you are forgiven, Christ forgave those who tortured and murdered him and yet he far less deserved it than any of us who have sin in us.

Very few in fact have a heavenly hope 144,000 since the time of Christ's Death it is aanswered in how he handled John the Baptizers death. "TheLeast creature in Heaven will be greater than He" but he died faithful so why not a heavenly reward for him, because that reward for faithful service until death was not open until the Death, and Ressurection of Christ. So what form of reward existed for those faithful before, and since the last of the 144,000 a life in perfection upon a paradise Earth.

If the woman in your example had brought her life within alignment with Jehovah God's will he would have helped lift that burden from her heart. And if the perpetrator was able to do so as well then he would have made quite the change, and no longer be the creature he formerly was, and as they passed through Armageddon as family, spiritual Brother and Sister no rejoycing could be greater than to see two more living souls saved from the pain and hatred of Satan's grasp.

Answer 4

I can not begin to understand the emotions and violation of one who was raped, and I can not pretend to.

What I can do, though, is address this in a general sense from a "bad things happening to good people" standpoint.

First and foremost, as difficult as it sounds every tragedy we experience gives us an opportunity to grow closer to God. Jesus is there with us in the worst of times, because none of us can handle it alone. You talk about how "is she supposed to live with herself?" Why wouldn't she live with herself? She has done nothing wrong, so why would she cast any aspersions whatsoever on herself? She is a victim. But she has also survived and has the opportunity to live her life in a way that set an example for others. She has the opportunity to show others that they too can overcome obstacles. Why wallow in self-pity? Doesn't that simply add to the pain and suffering of the crime? Why add to that? Start fresh and perservere.

People overcome obstacles everyday and perservere through loss of limbs, loss of loved ones, through horrible illness, and in some cases are terminal, but squeeze every last bit from life anyway.

See, our life is a blessing, a gift from God. It is up to us to make the most of it. Bad things happen, but it's in how we deal with those bad things that makes us who we are.

As to the person who committed that crime. YES, it is incredibly difficult to swallow the concept that if he repents he too can enjoy heaven. But the path for repentence, and the pain he must go through to truly be forgiven is much more difficult for him.

Answer 5

I'm not sure if we are talking about you or a hypothetical situation. So I am simply going to address you. I speak from 36 year of experience in ministry and several counseling situations with victims of rape.

The question of the rapist is between him and God. Repentence is not about forgiveness. It is about a change of heart and doing what is right. A penitent rapist would turn himself into the police and confess his guilt. He would accept the punishment for his crime. Part of repentence is paying for our sin. That person would then be right with society (they have done their time) and with God (a genuine change of heart).

But the more important question to me is the victim. I have seen too many women who struggle with this years after the crime committed against them. Sadly they continue to try and find a way to make it "feel" right. They question themselves..."If only I had or hadn't..." They try to blame themselves to make sense of it. And they hate the man that did it to them.

All of this is natural. From my perspective as a Christian counselor, there are two things that need to be said. First, there is nothing the rape victim does to cause this to happen. It has nothing to do with what you wear, where you are, etc. This isn't about sexiness or sexual attraction. Rape is about power. It is about a person gaining power in their mind by victimizing another and through absolute powerlessness making them feel helpless and fearful. Nothing you do causes that to happen. It is the result of sick and evil people.

Secondly, the hate eats at your own soul. The hate doesn't torment the rapist. He has long ago forgotten about you. The hate torments your own soul and embitters the spirit. It becomes a poison within us (this is true of any hate and I have been there). It changes our life and how we relate to others. It is dangerous.

The act of forgiving the rapist isn't about them. It is about freeing us from the power and fear of what they have done to us. It is about freeing our own soul so we can heal.

None of this is easy. It was recommended that you see a rape counselor. I personally would recommend a good Christian pastor. But either would be fine. Do this for yourself not for them.

God bless you.

Pastor John

Answer 6

Christ is still in her life despite the rape, so I don't understand the bit about "making sense of her existence with Christ in her life." Christ will provide victory over the rape, as well as the emotional and spiritual healing she needs in her journey to overcome the effects of the crime.

She should be able to live with herself regardless of the perpetrator's status of repentance, because she did nothing to warrant the crime committed against her. Forgiveness is a journey, and she can't expect to feel automatic forgiveness for the rapist, but that ought to be something she is willing to get to, with the Lord's help, eventually. For any Christian, there must come a time when we are not only willing to see the people who have wronged us be welcomed into heaven as our equals, we must learn to desire that.

It's not an EASY journey for the victim of a crime. I myself suffered at the hands of my own parents. When I first became a Christian, I was told that I must try to evangelize my parents. I gave it a few attempts, because I was excited about Jesus, and my parents rejected me. It was pretty awful the way they did it, actually. For some time after that, I was in "good riddance" mode. I really didn't want to spend eternity with my *parents* and I was totally cool with them not making it into heaven. After years of feeling this way, I realized that this attitude was a very serious sin. I struggled because I couldn't say, as Christ did on the Cross, "They don't know what they are doing." I believed they did know exactly what they were doing, and I imagine that a rape victim would say the same thing about her attacker.

All I could do was throw myself before the Lord and ask Him to change my heart on the matter, if I was really supposed to believe it was good for my parents to go to heaven. It took time, prayer and study....it took developing a heart of compassion that they had never shown me, but I got there. And it's been several more years, but I'm finally getting to a place where I want to actively do something to help them be restored to the Lord, through prayer and fasting.

For the rape victim, this journey would likely be even more difficult, but nonetheless, it is the journey that Christ asks ALL of us to take. She cannot be expected to have the desire to see her attacker in heaven straight away, nor can she be expected to manufacture that desire on her own. She only must offer her heart to the Lord and allow Him to change it as He wills it to change.

And as she continues on that journey toward complete forgiveness, her sense of justice and peace will grow, not diminish.

Answer 7

Bad things happen to good people, it's just a sucky fact of life. Even Christian life. Bad people do bad things to good people and it isn't fair.

Hopefully in the knowledge that if he repents, he will be admitting guilt and responsibility and truly grieve and be remorseful about his actions towards her. Is it 'fair' that he gets to go to the same heaven? no. But that is the way it works, there are no irredeemable sins. (See the parable about the workers in the vineyard)

I would recommend that she talk to her pastor and a rape crisis counselor. They are both trained to help.

Answer 8

We are all subject to time and circumstance.

We are not promised any special protection, etc. so it amazes me that so many believe that, because they believe in God, God will protect them from such things.

God expects us to do our part. We lock our doors. We put on our seat belts and drive carefully.

There are evil people out there in the world, and we should know this moreso than other people.

I am truly sorry this happened to you. I happen to know a number of women who had the same experience and they too had a hard time dealing with it.

Buy yourself a can of police grade pepper spray. If you are in a state that allows it, you might want to consider getting a handgun and learning how to shoot and carry it with you. If you are in Texas, I can teach you and help you get a license to carry.

Understand that, even if the person that did this eventually repents and is in the kingdom of God, he will still suffer for his crimes. One of the greatest truisms of Scripture is that we reap what we sow.

Answer 9

"The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son (the progeny of Adam) shall not bear the iniquity of the father (Adam), neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die." Ezekiel 18:20-21

This verse of the Bible clearly states that the wicked will be punished for his wickedness.

God is Just, and justice requires that nobody should be punished for the sins of others, nor should some people be saved by punishing other people. Doesn’t the claim that God sacrificed Jesus to save us because He was Just, contradict the definition of justice?
Jesus says in Matthew 12:36; "But I say unto you that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the Day of Judgment. For by the words thou shalt be justified, and by the words thou shalt be condemned

Answer 10

I know it's hard to forget if you ever will, you have PTSD, you can forgive and go on your way to a fulfilling life. Jesus knows your heart and Ephesians 4: 31-32 says let all bitterness, wrath, anger,clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you.We sin everyday and need Jesus to forgive us for our sins.Most of us break these things often in the scripture above. Let God be the judge of him, before he repents and ask god to forgive him ,he must first ask you for forgiveness the the bible says ask me and I will forgive, so first you take care of the sin with the person you have sinned against.

Answer 11

That's a difficult thing to deal with. She can get to that place, only through offering up her pain and suffering to Christ...he understands suffering. Ask for the grace of forgiveness and pray for the man who committed this crime.

Think of the story of the Prodigal Son. That God rejoices in all who are saved. But being forgiven by God does not mean he will not suffer for his sins...he will. God is perfect in his justice.

Forgiving is for the victim. Holding on to hurt and a desire for revenge only makes the victim a bitter person. Give it up to God. Remember that in the Lord's Prayer we say..."forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..."