Christians-is being a single woman really such a bad thing.?

Question

As a thirty-something single I really have to know:
There seems to be this mindset among certain elements in the Christian community (I won't say all) - that a woman's sole purpose in her life (sometimes as soon as she leaves high school) should be to find a husband, get married, and start popping out babies. Not an education, nor a career, but finding a husband. I think that if this is what some women want, that's fine with them, but what is so bad about being single and being happy being single?

Answer 1

I don't believe it says you have to be married in the Bible. You should be married to have kids though. Everyone is different and you should do what makes you happy. The only question you need to ask is if you are really happy being single. I was like you at one time, single, educated, career oriented. I never wanted to get married or have children, even turned down a few marriage proposals. Then I met the right man and everything changed. Now being a wife and mother is my greatest accomplishment, but that's me. If you are happy, then stay happy. But don't be surprised if someday someone comes along and messes that up for you, lol.

God Bless.

Answer 2

The main thing I notice about Christians is that they want people to marry the right person, for the right reasons, so that they may enjoy a GREAT marraige! I have found that most people leave you alone when you tell them you are waiting for God to bring the right man. It usually shuts them up b/c it takes it out of your hands and puts it in the hands of the Almighty, and how can they argue with Him? For that matter, if it is God's hands that you marry at all, how would you have any control over that, and why should you live under a rock in the mean time? I think you are giving way too much authority to these people in your life.

In the mean time, I don't think it's fair to accuse only Christians of pressuring single people to marry, as middle-aged women are some of the worst. Men aren't much help either when they view women in their 30's as 'less desirable' because of less child-bearing ability and even more shallow reasons than that.

If your church is teaching you that you should be married instead of a career, you are probably in the wrong church...because if you truly believe that God is in control, then the person and the time you marry is in His hands, not yours.

I won't lie though...I am tired of being single so I am biased. I've just never experienced the pressure you speak of, because I have accomplished a great deal in my career and in my personal life. Plus, everyone knows that I won't marry until God sends me the person he wants me to marry.

Answer 3

There's nothing wrong with being single. There are plenty of women who really seem to want to do the stay-at-home wife and mom thing, and it certainly isn't condemned by the Bible or by any major Christian organizations I know of, but I think that it's mostly just stereotype that the holiest Christian women have to be barefoot and pregnant.

I know some women who do stay home, but even of the ones I can think of personally, most have at least gotten a college education or work on the side. I really think it's just a stereotype.

Answer 4

If you are happy to be single, then this is wonderful, as it sounds as though the Lord has given you the right attitude for leading a single life, as may well prove to be His purpose for you. Many women find themselves unfulfilled and frustrated at the thought of not being wives and mothers, but looking at the sadness which even some Christian wives have to contend with in their domestic life and the stress of trying to be superwoman and lead several lives in parallel as wife, mother, housekeeper, career woman and church member, there is a lot to be said for being single. Fifty years ago a brilliant book was written on the subject by Marion Hillard, entitled "A Woman Doctor Looks at Life and Love." (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1956). I don't know if it is still in print, but it is excellent.

Answer 5

There's nothing wrong with you being happy and single

- of course I've always wanted the family life (which I'm living now), but I always wanted it with the right man, and that meant some years of single-adult life because I wasn't about to get married just for the sake of getting married.

But that didn't mean I spent those years moping around, I got my education, I dated a lot, I went on a mission. It was good, happy years too :)

Answer 6

I too am a single Christian woman and there is nothing wrong with that. For some women God has called them to be married and have children and then for others He has a different plan and needs them to be single. We have our own different yet unique testimony as single women serving the Lord and there is nothing wrong with that. God has a plan for our lives whether it's to stay single or just wait on Him to bring us the man that He has predestined us to be with. Unfortunately some denominations have different views of single women that are slightly older (like me and you..lol) but I love my church because they actually encourage you to wait and not rush into marriage. My Pastor has said on many ocassions that as a single adult we have more time to spend with the Lord as opposed to someone who has the responsibility of having a husband and a family. I am not saying that we cannot spend time with God when we get married and have children but the responsibilities are different. Before God women who have such an awesome task of raising children and being a virtuous wife have to give account to God for that. Being single to me is just really God knowing what is best for our lives in the season that we are in. Hold your head up and I will too because regardless we are where the Lord wants us to be. God bless!

Answer 7

I am a Christian. I'm now in close to 60 years old. I didn't meet my wife until I was 32 when we met, fell in love, and were married.

I know there's this "stygma" (is that the right word?) about the need to get married, but that is not necessarily the will of God for everybody. Wait till God leads and directs you. If you're content the way you are, Paul said don't try to change things. Or did he say to be content in whatever condition you find yourself in? Hmmm. Seems to me that Paul knew what he was talking about.

And you won't be the first woman to remain single. Look at Anna the prophetess (Luke 2:36) and many other men and women who found their calling from God outside the realm of marriage.

Just be sure that if God DOES nudge you towards a mate, you don't say "NO" just because you don't NEED to be married.

God bless you in your faithfulness to God's calling on your life.

Answer 8

As a happy 43 year-old single woman, I'd have to say no. My family doesn't have a problem with it and neither do my friends. I'm a teacher, and I spend a lot of time on school work at home, so I don't know that I could both teach effectively and deal with a spouse or family.

Answer 9

First, I'd like to say you've misunderstood 1 Corinthians 7. It's not saying that you should marry to quench your sexual desire, it's saying that in whatever you do, glorifying the LORD should be your first priority, and the only way to have sex without sinning is through marriage. It sounds like you are doing a good job of keeping your actions pure, but keeping your thoughts pure is a little trickier. Stop focusing on improving yourself, and start focusing on Jesus. Once your awareness of Christ takes over, there will be no room for impurity. Hope that helps. (This is easier said than done....)

Answer 10

As a single woman, the only "Bad" thing I'm finding is it's hard to live one one income in California....

The Apostle Paul said being single was a good thing. Jesus was single. There is NOTHING wrong with being a Single, Christian woman of God.