me and my ex have been broken up for almost 2 months now . we dated for over a year and we lost our virginity to eachother . is it normal to still think about her ? do you think about your first ? she told me that she still cares about me and that she wants to be friends but i told her that i never wanted to see or talk to her ever again . i mean whats the point ? were not together any more so theres nothing to talk about .i just want her out of my life completely. its been a week since we have talked and im hoping she doesnt ever call me again.i rather her be out of my life completly because i know we will end up getting back together if we are just "friends" and i dont want that at all because she is the one that broke up with me and i am not going to let her think that she can just dump me and then go bak to me once she finds out that it was a mistake . shes already dating another guy so its his job to care for her and talk to her right ? do you think she still thinks about me somtimes ? whats your opinion ? and should i be frineds with her ?
2007-07-25 03:05:18 · 26 answers · asked by bassplayer4112003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
be a friend, but let her lead her life
2007-07-25 03:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. It's perfectly normal to think of people you've dated, especially your first. This will happen for the rest of your life, though the frequency will go down as time passes. I also have cordial relationships with a few ex's, as do most of my friends. Just because two people don't make a good couple, doesn't mean that they can't be friends. Often, the relationship improves with a bit of distance. It does take some time to get past the initial hurt, and adjust to the new boundaries. Give yourself the time you need, and take care not to burn any bridges you may regret later. Touch base on occasion, but keep it light. If she pushes, tell her that you are taking the time you need gain perspective, and that you'll contact her more as you feel more comfortable about it.
2007-07-25 10:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by SewConnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's just not possible to get over the hurt of a break up to be friends.
Don't force yourself, friendship should come naturally or not at all.
It sounds like the break up is still a raw spot in your heart, give it some time to heal before you think about this again.
If you see her, be polite but don't get into a conversation, and spend some of your energy on making new friends.
Perhaps in a while you'll be able to think of her without feeling hurt and rejected. Then you may be able to become friendly with her.
It is entirely normal to remember your first (and second, and third, etc etc). The thing is, while it's good to remember your first, it's not good to get emotionally stuck at that point ~ if your romance is over, it's over.
Make some friends, have some fun and if love comes your way again, you might be luckier next time :-)
Best wishes :-)
2007-07-25 10:11:39 · answer #3 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to still think of her since she is your first.. i know that your ego has been hurt since she dumped you and is acting like nothing happened and wants the two of you to be friends again.. it would also be best if you focus your attention on other things.. tell her that there is still a possibility for friendship in the future, but not right now because you are still fresh out of a romantic relationship.. she is already dating another guy, so that means that she has somehow moved on with her life.. why don't you do the same? atleast, it would get your mind of her, if not forever, atleast temporarily.. give yourself a break.. she still thinks of you sometimes, of that i'm sure.. you are her first, and you play an important part in her life, though you're no longer together..
2007-08-02 09:29:39 · answer #4 · answered by sweet sexy thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes u should be friends. What is the problem w/ men..? They believe if their a not # 1 any problems a women may have they cant help any more. A women may wonder and think of u as a friend if she is in a relationship or closer. Obviously ur not ready 4 her to be completely out of ur life so be friends. If it were so ur decision of being friends with would have been decided a long time ago.
2007-08-01 16:50:51 · answer #5 · answered by Aila126 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first love will always be just that.. there is a reason they are called first loves because eventually you do find a 2nd love. I think you are hurt still and cant see the future. I think in time you may be able to be friends. If you see her out somewhere you can find it in you to say hello how are you and mean it.. I know my first love is someone I will always love and cherish even though we broke up he was someone special just as your exgirlfriend is. I think its best if you both move on right now and if you were meant to be you will end up back together in time but for now move on. Stick to what you feel is right. Good luck.
2007-07-25 10:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by neicygreeneyes2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should be friends with her! You sound like you really liked her, and it was mutual. She broke up for whatever reasons, maybe she wasn't yet sure of her feelings, and being away from you may have made her realize her mistake.
But don't let ego get in the middle of a great thing! If you can still see her, who knows? Things might actually work out for you both.
And yes, it's completely normal for both of you to still think about each other.
2007-07-25 10:11:17 · answer #7 · answered by galpal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told her how you feel, and she is still calling you. You still have one option left..... caller ID. You see it's her, don't answer. You accidentally pick up and it's her, tell her you're busy and cut the call very short. Be polite but be firm. You bump into her and she wants to talk, say you have to be somewhere else. If she asks if you are avoiding her, tell her the truth.
She was your first, of course you are going to think about her from time to time. That's normal. Same for her. Trying to be friends would be awkward after you shared something special like that.
2007-08-02 09:18:39 · answer #8 · answered by Eric C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think about my first love from time to time, but I don't dwell on it.. I don't believe in hanging on to th past. You sound confident in yourself about girls. We all get dumped at least once in our lives, and we also do the dumping! That's life. These little relationships help us learn more about ourselves. After each relationship, we move the bar up and expect more from the relationshp and put more into it. It's a learning process, so you just move on with your life until you find the right girl for you. I wouldn't give your ex the time of day. Just be polite, but don't make her think you need her or can't do without her.
2007-08-02 10:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still think about my first and that was many years ago. I'm now in a long term relationship with someone I plan to spend the rest of my life with, yet I still think about my first. Not in a way that I want him back or anything, but I just think about it. You never forget. And if you don't want to talk to her then don't. Leave it as is. It's her new boyfriend's job as you mentioned.
2007-07-25 10:08:59 · answer #10 · answered by Les 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were together for some time, so breaking up was painful. You've only been apart for 2 months--short time. I don't think it's in your best interest to resume any relationship with her. If you do, she'll probably start asking for advice, ask for favors, etc. Maybe the new guy isn't working out? A clean break is best. It's not good to retread a relationship that failed.
2007-08-02 09:49:44 · answer #11 · answered by Cam1051Sec 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋