How do most couples pay for a wedding without their parents help?

Question

My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding out selves (approximately $20,000) with little or no help form our parents. Besides the obvious (save, do it small etc.), I am wondering how other couples have paid for their own wedding? Do you put it on the charge card? Tap the 401K? Refinance the house? Also why did you choose to pay for things in that way?

I have looked and nothing gives realistic ideas for fanatically independent people. I am not looking for answers like just don't spend a much, save for it, cut back on the guest list or ask Mommy and Daddy.

Okay, so I guess people are reading past the 1st line of my question. I am by no means suggesting taking out a loan, using a credit card etc. I am merely wondering how others in our situation, on our budget, chose to do it BESIDES cutting back and saving which obviously I have and am doing.

I am not a moron and I am financially responsible. I am 23 years old, college educated, and have a well paying full time job, as does my fiancé. We own our own home, which through good investments and careful planning is nearly paid off. To us $20,000 is NOT a lot for a nice wedding. So if you are answering just to sat $20,000 is a lot don’t bother.

Answer 1

My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves ($25,000). We had an engagement party and many of the guests gave us money as a gift which we put towards the wedding costs. We had a small wedding(125 people) and it was no way UNREALISTIC.

We made a budget and planned accordingly. We used our credit card but paid it off right away. We didn't splurge on anything over the top but we got exactly what we wanted. We allowed ourselves to splurge on one thing and that was our rings, we will have them forever so I didn't care if they put us in debt (which they didn't). I made my church programs and favors. I didn't choose a hall unless it was under the limit I wanted to spend a plate. I didn't get a wedding album with 100 pictures that I couldn't carry. I got one that had 50 pics in it. Stuff like that you can do. Also, most companies (DJ, photography, videography, flowers) have payment plans so you don't have to pay them all at once. We spread out our payments with them so we weren't paying everyone all at once.

It's definitly worth it, paying for the wedding yourselves. If my parents paid for it then it would have been THEIR wedding and not mine. It was the best decision my husband and I could have made.

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I wouldn't tell you to cut the guest list or ask mommy and daddy. My DH and I planned and payed for our wedding and didn't ask anyone for nothing. It's expensive no matter which way you look at it. We did it the easy way and still racked up several grand! But here are some tips you may appreciate

For "party favors" or w/e give the guests a disposable camera and have everyone take pictures (this way you end up with an awesome scrap/memory album and don't have to pay out the nose for a private photographer)
For the food try and keep it between you and friends/family...they don't have to pay for the wedding but who says you can't put them to work and help you cater!
Rent your wedding gown/tux or buy thrift! This can save you several hundred or even a couple grand right there! And all your brides maids etc should have to also supply their own
Make handmade invitiations instead of fancy customized ones
Make mixed CD's and have a friend bring a nice stereo system instead of hiring a DJ

Hope this helps, these are some of the things I was recommended (and I did a few) and it cut some costs nearly in half or almost out! Best wishes

Answer 3

My sister and her fiance just cut a lot of spending habits out and started saving from the moment that her fiance proposed. Don't get a coffee every day, bag your lunch, don't go shopping every weekend for clothes you don't need. Making a budget first is probably the best way to save money.

$1000 per month in a year, each would be about what you're looking to save.

*Part-time jobs are helpful
*Saving up as much as possible and then seeing where you are
*Figuring out how much you're spending at most and see where you can cut costs...it's pretty easy to save at least a couple thousand dollars by doing your own invites, possibly not doing favors, cutting the guest list down, doing an off-season wedding, not going designer on your dresses, etc.

Answer 4

Regardless of who is paying, I suggest putting all deposits - and the remaining balances - on credit cards if possible. Doing this allows you to dispute any issues you may have - which do come up on occasion. Try to pay as little as possible with cash or check because you won't be able to get those monies back if anything were to happen - act of God or otherwise.

A lot of couples are choosing to take out loans to give them the freedom of booking vendors when they find one, etc and not waiting until their next pay check. Others have been saving over years to prepare for their coming nuptials, so the funds are also there when they need them. A lot of couples are getting married later in life, when they are already financially established and have expendable income, so paying for things isn't as much of an issue as if they would have gotten married young.

Answer 5

You already know the answer: set a budget where you can pay everything in cash, and as of the day of the wedding, it is 100% paid off. (Or alternatively, put any charges on your credit card with the firm commitment to pay it off the same month the charge is incurred.)

If you are fanatically independent (good for you!) you already have good habits, and you know that tapping into a retirement plan, running up a credit card balance at 18% interest, or adding to mortgage debt is a hideous way to begin your new lives together. Debt = stress on your relationship. Please don't underestimate the impact that financial disagreements have on married couples.

You also already know that you shouldn't even be depleting all of your cash reserves (i.e., your regular savings account, as opposed to your 401K or IRA) -- what if one of you loses your jobs? What if one of you needs emergency medical care? What if the roof starts leaking? Those unexpected expenditures are what your credit cards (carrying no balance) are for, and what your second mortgage or line of credit are for. But you know that already. :-)

My best advice really goes toward attitude: don't deviate from your budget just to make others (besides you and your fiance) happy. If you decide to forego an open bar because of cost, do it, don't apologize for it, and don't give it another thought. Ditto if you decide to skip giving out trinkets and jordan almonds, or if you decide to rent a gown.

Congrats on your marriage, and good luck and best wishes on your planning!

Answer 6

My fiance and I bought a house and got engaged last year. We set the wedding date 2 1/2 years afterward so we could save as much as possible and it seems to be working. We set our budget at $10,000 and are sticking to it. We put aside an amount we can afford into a savings account every month. If we remained disciplined, we will not end up in too much debt by the end of the wedding.

If saving is not going to be easy for you and you absolutely must have your dream day, I would recommend taking out a Personal Line of Credit; They offer lower interest rates then credit cards and are benefical for people who are not able to pay their debt off quickly. If you and your fiance have decent incomes, good credit ratings, and are not burdened with debt already, applying for a $20,000 PLC shouldn't be a problem.

Good luck.

Answer 7

We are paying for our own wedding but are keeping it small, like 35 guests, but that is our decision and means it is a manageable amount to save up (around $4000 US Dollars), neither of us was interested in having a huge wedding, and neither of us wanted to get into any debt (credit cards, loans etc). We also took in a lodger and saved her rent money towards the wedding. That was what worked for us, I don't know why people are slating you for spending £20000 on a wedding, it is your life and up to you what you do with your money, if you can afford it then great, or if you are putting it on credit and paying it off that's your choice to make, not anyone else's.

Answer 8

We didn't start working out the details until after we had assessed our budget. We're professionals in our early 30's, and each had some stocks that have been doing really well. We also have been saving money. We decided that we could comfortably spend $10,000 with a little extra to spare without having to go into any debt or drain our investments. We're still trying to keep it under $5000, just because (no offense) spending any more than that seems impractical.

Answer 9

Well me and my hubby to be, just put some money back when we got engaged but we didn't set a date yet or nothing and just saved. Then when we set the date we had pretty much e'thing almost paid for minus a few lil things, but we payed for it all w/o taking out a loan, using credit cards or anything like that. You've gotta be smart in planning is all.

We both work really hard for e'thing we got and we are proud to pay for our owen wedding w/o anyone's help.

Answer 10

We paid for our own wedding, but we did it alot smaller than that.
I suggest that you bargain shop, alot of the places that sell or rent wedding items have a price listed but will take less. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK!

You could take out a loan, however I don't recommend this or maxing out credit cards. There is NO reason to start out you life togther in debt.

If you buy things in bulk you can often times get them cheaper.

One way to save big is to do your own flowers. This is time consuming and you have to be able to experiement a little with them to get what you want, but it cuts costs alot!

When you meet with the caterer, be sure that you talk to them about kids dishes, there is no need to pay for the same amount for a child as an adult.

I have also found that if you pay for the services up front, you will often times get a better rate.

When you buy your invitations, order more than what you need. It is cheaper ordering more than having to go back and reorder a smaller amount!

I hope this helps you out!