My bf got caught in a lie. He was with another woman. Now he....?

Question

wants to talk at lunch today. He took my car while I was sleep and the other woman called him the next day to say what a good afternoon she had. I talked to her and she said she was told i was just his sister. I am thinking of giving him another chance to be straight with me. But he keeps denying seeing her. She described my car to the tee because i have special tags on the plate. He is very sneaky and I think he just wants me to be his main woman while he runs the street with others. I have stood by his side in the past year through a lot and I hate to throw it all away over him having dinner with another woman. He said he just wanted to get close enough to her to get on the inside of a better paying job & he has been doing things like this for quite sometime to get good jobs even though they are all temporary. He is an electrican. He wants me to pick him up for his 30minute lunch.What should I say? He is the kind that wants to see whats on my mind so he can have a good comback.

Answer 1

run dont walk,as fast as you can from him,if he did that just to try to get a job then he should have told you.and aslo if hes sneaky like you say ,he could always be trying to hold onto you until he finds someone better,id sit him down and tell him he needs to straighten up or he outa there..good luck

Answer 2

You said you were giving him another chance for being straight with you. When was he straight with you?
Your words:
"he keeps denying seeing her"
"he told her I was just his sister"
"he is very sneaky"
How is that being straight with you??

You said:
"I have stood by his side in the past year through a lot and I hate to throw it all away over him having dinner with another woman".
YOU didn't throw it all away, HE threw it all away.
And:
"you don't want to throw it all away over him having dinner with another woman"??
At this point, who cares about him having dinner with her.

What about everything else; the lies, being sneaky, being dis-respectful to you and taking "your" car to do it all with.

Not to mention:
He obviously didn't care about you standing by his side in the past year through a lot, because if he did, he wouldn't be treating you this way.

How many times are you going to walk in front of the same 2x4 before you realize it's hitting you in the face?
You need to wake up and look at what he's doing to you.
Hell with boyfriends like him, who needs enemies?

Come on, you can't be that naive.
I found all these things wrong with him and it's only 1 story.
You said he has been doing things like this for quite some time.
And his excuse is: "he just wanted to get close enough to her to get on the inside of a better paying job". He's getting on the "inside" I'm sure, but it's obviously not a better paying job.
And by doing this, what kind of job is he looking at, being a professional "escort"?

If that's what he has to do in order to get a good job, he must be pretty damn stupid, because he obviously can't get a job by his intelligence so he's trying to use his body.
Well obviously he's not very good at that either because he has to keep doing the same thing over and over trying to get a job that way too ;(

Well at this time the only "good comeback" he will have will be a lie. Because there's nothing "good" that can come from this.

You are nothing but a doormat, you keep letting him walk all over you (which IS what he is doing).
And as long as you put up with it, YES, he's going to want to be with you because he knows no one else will ever put up with this from him.

So what does that make you?
Not the love of his live, not the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, not the intelligent one out of this relationship, not the one he cares about.
Just the one that will put up with it all !!!!!

I know this is hard on you, and I know you didn't want to hear anything that I said.
But I'm just hoping that some of it will sink it and bother you enough that you will step back and take a look at your relationship and see it the way everyone does.
It's pretty plain to see that he doesn't deserve YOU!!!

Answer 3

You shouldnt be thinking this hard about someone who doesnt think this hard about you.

First of all, he is disrespecting you by throwing your emotions around, going behind your back and then thinking you are stupid enough to believe his weak excuses.

Every person on here is telling you to dump him, but perhaps you need to know why.

To be with someone for a year, you BETTER be enjoying yourself, trusting your partner and together giving each other respect. Anything less than that is something you dont deserve. Its hard to see it when you're in it, but this guy is treating you like crap, and is VERY good at turning the tables to get you to stay.

You need to step out of it and take a good look. You deserve much better than this. And remember: he is NOT smarter than you. Dont let him manipulate you anymore.

Dump him.

Answer 4

I would definitely say leave him alone but I'm a woman. I know how it is when u wanna let go but the length of time you have with this person won't allow it to happen. I know that in your mind you wanna work this out to any extent but if he really loved and respected you he would have never done this. Only you know your bf and only you have to decide on what to do. So be smart in your decision making and I hope U come out of this ok. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

I see your boyfriend is a player, he wants his cake and eat it to. So you are his sister, he have some kind of nerve. When he didn't come clean and tell you the trust, he still in denied. You can't touch a sneaky man. He need to get a job on his own, and not used people for what he wants. he was going to play this women, until you busted him. He taking your kindness for weakness. i would pick him up, and tell him off real good about hisself.

Answer 6

When someone lies to you they assume you will believe it. They think they can create a fantasy that you will believe in favor of reality. If they think that, then they must think they are much smarter then you are. This is another way of saying they think you are stupid. When someone tells you a lie it’s because they have little or no respect for you. This means they don’t care for you very much at all. Don't tolerate lies. Accidents may happen in relationships but lies are always intentional. I might give a guy a chance if he cheated and told me but I will always throw a liar to the curb. I have no tolerance for a guy who obviously thinks I am stupid and grinds my face in it by lying to me.

Answer 7

He's sneaky? Lies about what he does, where he's been? You really believe this is the basis for a solid relationship?
You've been given a warning; an insight on what is to come; its your choice, but wouldn't you rather have someone who loved and respected you enough to be open and above board and tell you the truth?

Answer 8

On one hand he is a real jerk. But maybe she is lying. I have had women stalk me, no everthing about my life, then ask to sleep with me. When I say no they say that if I don't they will tell my girlfriend that I did anyway. It is a good thing I had an understanding girlfriend at the time who trusted me.
You know the him the best, make your own decision but keep this in mind, it does happen.

Answer 9

Cut that player loose!
Sounds like you want more than just to play & players will always play, even after marriage.
Look at the year you spent with him like a lesson on how to spot players.
It doesn't sound like the two of you want the same things.
I feel that trust is one of the most important qualities in a relationship & you can't have it with him, can you?

Answer 10

If your gut says he's going to keep lying and cheating--and using your car, presumably without your permission--well, you know what to do. I hope that if you go to lunch with him, it's to tell him that the relationship is over and you would like him to pack his things and go.

And either you sleep in the middle of the day, or he has dinner at strange hours of the night.