Stuck between a rock and a hard place...?

Question

My aunt was diagnosed with cervical cancer a month ago. She starts Chemo a week from tomorrow. She lives on long island and i live in south western New York state. I am about to move to north carolina with my boyfriend. She called and asked me if i would go out there and help her because all of her kids have kids and im one of the few other people that shes trusts. I told my boyfriend about it and he told me that if his grandfather went through chemo alone she can do it too, then he told me that he is movingto north carolina with or with out me and if i went to long island we would just have to break up because long distance relationships dont work. I wouldonly be gone for 7 weeks not a year.

Couldyou please give me some advice because i just dont know what to do.

Answer 1

He is being so completely selfish and wow, what a jerk. You have known and loved your aunt longer than him, and for him to "demand" that you ignore your aunt and move so far away from her in her time of great need is totally uncalled for. He obviously doesn't support you, doesn't care about your family, and has no compassion. He's not even willing to try a LDR for 7 weeks??? What is his malfunction?!!!
Go, take care of your aunt. You will always regret if you don't.
The faster you dump this loser, the happier you'll be.

Answer 2

It's a shame her kids can't take turns helping her. Their having children should not be an impedement to ensuring their mother gets support during what must be a very trying time. Still...

How big an inconvenience would it be to move to Long Island and then to North Carolina? And can you convince your boyfriend that you will join him in seven weeks? You're helping your aunt because in YOUR family, people help each other out. And just because grandfather went through chemo alone doesn't mean your aunt should.

Answer 3

It sounds like you should re-evaluate what you look for in a man. If you have the opportunity to be there for family, and it's not something out of your will power, then I believe you should definately be there for the family. Your Aunt obviously felt you were important enough to make this request to, as well as responsible enough. She is going through a very difficult and scary time. Cancer is no joke...my grammy just past away 2 days after my birthday in October of 2006. She was diagnosed in April of 2006, it took only those 6months for it to take over her body and to place her to rest. Your Aunt needs as much love and support that she can get. You should feel priviliged and honored she is requesting you to be there. Your man sounds like he is still a little immature and selfish. Is this someone you truely are ready to make such a big transition with in life? Since he feels that way, oh well, you were living your life before he came along, and you can do so still if he is gone. You should have someone who is supportive to you and there for you in family hardships, not to make you feel like you have to choose. No offense, you should be ashamed to even have questioned what to do, but maybe you did it cuz sometimes we know what we gotta do, but its hard to decide on our own, and its easier when we see others feel the same. You know what you should do, if it is true love between you and your bf, he'll straighten his act up, apologize and will be in your corner, no matter what you decide. Good Luck with which ever way things flow. Also, your Aunt will be in my prayers. God Bless!!!

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear about your aunt. I hope she does okay. I am sorry you have a selfish boyfriend also. Sounds to me like he needs an attitude adjustment. Follow your heart. If your heart tells you to help out your Aunt then do it. If it tells you the boyfriend is more important right now than family then go. Whatever you decide don't beat yourself up, pray about it, it will work out in the long run.

Answer 5

What you can do is realize that your boyfriend is selfish and will always put himself first, even if you should become sick later down the road. Would you want him to be your support if you were facing a life threatening illness? He has no empathy for other people's suffering. Let him go to NC alone and go help your aunt.

Answer 6

I certainly have an observed daughter with psychological problem so I sympathize with you very much. on occasion i comprehend that it may sense such as you're all by myself and that there is not any one that could help or will make it easier to. nicely enable me inform you that it relatively isn't real. while you're of age then you definately can touch the interior reach DCF and clarify your difficulty to them and tell them which you're working to make your life extra suitable yet you sense that the present difficulty you're in isn't helping. There are crew properties which you would be able to get help identifying to purchase (SSI pays for clinically determined psychological issues) and there they're going to make it easier to discover and save a job whilst offering a place for you to stay. they are there to help people in basic terms such as you in those situations. while you're actually not of age then they're going to are available and set up some form of software that can assist you. you may get help and additionally you do not could desire to flow via your dad. do in basic terms the leg artwork and do what's neccessary. it ought to take time yet your life is in basic terms that your life. stable success.

Answer 7

i know its not wat u want to hear but if ur boyf really cared for u he wudnt ask u to desert ur aunt at this time in her life.. no compassionate person would..

its sounds to me as if this relationship is going to end sooner or later so why not end it now at least that way u'll have someting to take ur mind off it and keep u busy..

just think if anything was to happen to ur aunt because she was left on her own... could u forgive urself? sorry, dont mean to be harsh...

i suppose as well, u cud always bring ur aunt to california with u? wud ur boyf be ok with that?? it mite cheer your aunt up and give her a better chance of survival..