I am the step-mom of the bride-to-be. Where will I be seated for the wedding?

Question

My husband will be walking his daughter up the aisle to "give her away". Her biological mother will be there alone. I am wondering where the step-mom usually sits in this situation and where here mom will sit. Her dad will want to sit beside me, I know, and not his ex. Like, will I sit on the second row? Her dad will want to sit beside me and NOT his ex, I know! What is the proper atire for me to wear. I am looking at a black tea length semi-formal style dress. Is black alright to wear? HELP!

Oops! I didn't mean to put the one statement in this twice! Sorry..... I was just moving it and forgot to delete it!

The bride will be wearing Vera Wang designer dress and the groom will be sporting a designer made tux! Very formal wedding.

I am definately adult enough to respect the bride's wishes! We get along better than she and her mother do. I don't mid sitting on the second row or wherever she wants me to sit. Her dad will not want to sit next to his ex. That would put her on the front row alone. We are not really "friendly" enough to sit together. We will definately be very civilized, though. The bride will probably not expect us to sit together. I am just thinking ahead and wondering what is proper. Thanks for the tips about the dress, too! I will keep looking, I guess.

Really! There will be NO drama going on...maybe just pretty uncomfortable at times. Her mother is rather odd and will most likely wear knit pants and a cotton shirt or smock of some kind, so trying to match her style won't happen. I will ask the bride her thoughts on all of it and do whatever makes her happy. I have no problem with back row if that's what she requests.

Answer 1

You can sit next to your husband, but give her mother respect with this, after all the bride is her mother. Ask her where she wants you to sit...this way there will not be any hard feelings or confusion for either of you.

Answer 2

Most likely her Mother will be seated in the first row. There are 2 ways this can go, either you could all sit in the front row, Dad in the middle between you and her, or you and Dad would sit in the second row. In all honesty if Dad & Mom can stand to sit next to each other for the duration of the ceremony, I think the first option would be best for all concerned, including your step daughter.

As for your dress - you state that you are looking at a semi-formal dress, but you also say it's a very formal wedding. If it's a formal affair you dress accordingly. Especially as a 'parent' you need to help set the tone for the event. I think you should be looking at formal gowns, not tea length dresses. Color-wise I think you need to talk to your step daughter and see if she is ok with black. She should have the final call on the subject.

Answer 3

Of course you will sit next to your husband. At the rehearsal they will work out who will sit and stand where. Usually the mother of the bride will be seated during the song for the seating of the families. I don't think it would be a problem if you both sat in the row behind her mother. Ask the bride how she wants it, she's the boss!

As for your dress I would not reccomend black unless she is having a black and white formal wedding. Black usually signifies that you are not happy with the marriage. Check with what the mother of the groom is wearing and maybe get something that compliments both her dress and the wedding party dresses.

Good luck!

Answer 4

If you really like the black dress, just ask the bride if she minds its black. Shell tell you what she wants.
One possible seating arrangement is (looking up the aisle, right to left): mother, father, mother-in-law. But that means they have to sit next to each other, so alternatively you could do: mother, grandparents (or other relative), father, mother-in-law.
I just dont think it looks good to have only one person in the front row. After all, a wedding is about coming together for a person you all love. I hope you can find a way to all be in the front row.

Answer 5

I wouldn't wear black. It's acceptable to wear black to weddings but since you're the step mother we don't want any wicked comments. Let the MOB pick her gown first and then pick your dress. You should wear a dess that is the same formality as hers. Don't buy the same color, but it should coordinate with everyone else.

I'm sure your husband doesn't want to sit next to his ex but, why can't all of you sit in the first pew? He can sit between the two of you. If that is out of the question you and your husband should sit in the second pew. However, it would be best if all three of you could get along for this special day.

Answer 6

You will sit with your Husband. I do not think Black is appropriate, but I am not Emily Post! When I married my first husband, my Mom sat in between the husbands. I also think that all the parents should sit together for the wedding. Or at least on the first pew together. This is something that the bride should also decide. For the sake of the wedding couple you all need to act like adults and sit together.

Answer 7

Usually, the front pew is empty, and the second row is for family. Her Dad will sit in this row, and you will sit beside him. If you get along with the bride´s mother, her mother should sit next to you, and if not, if the bride´s Mom is remarried or has a date, have that person sit next to you.

As far as dresses you should wear, ask the bride, and she should give you ideas. In fact, the best thing to do would be to shop with her, or go shopping by yourself, take pictures of the dress, and then ask the bride which one she thinks you should wear.

My stepmother is AWESOME, and since my bridesmaids wore black, she chose to wear black as well, but the dress also had beautiful ivory and gold flowers as well. She had the dress for years, and other outfits, and showed all of them to me and I chose this dress for her since it fit the atmosphere of the occasion. Of course, she looked gorgeous!

Answer 8

I'd ask the bride where she wants you to sit and what to wear. I'm sure she would appreciate your asking because you're thinking of how to make things easier for everyone. Most likely you and your husband will sit a row or two behind her.

If you're friendly with the groom's mom, you could coordinate with her on what to wear. I wouldn't recommend black because it looks a little depressing, but if you can't find anything else you like, go for it. My mom wore black at my wedding.

Answer 9

sounds like a lovely wedding. st john makes absolutely fabulous dresses for occasions like this. i agree with some of the others, a long, formal but not flashy dress in a color that .....here it comes.....is subdued and is lovely but does not stand out. black and red and gold and bright anything come to mind as being colors that in my opinion would not work. it sounds like you are a classy lady to care about doing the right thing, neiman marcus has an entire floor with dresses that are appropriate and lovely. you can even look thru bride magazines to get ideas as to what parents wear to weddings, mothers of the bride no longer dress in a dowdy way, not at all! the last few formal weddings i attended featured the mother in a long dress worn with class and style. they looked stylish and great.

Answer 10

If it is a formal wedding, you will be seated by an usher, and he will seat you where the bride has asked him to, so don't worry about what is traditional/proper, as it will be taken care of.

As for your dress, while black is becoming a popular color for wedding guests to wear these days, it is still not generally accepted for parents, as it is a color of mourning and can be construed as your not accepting or being happy about the wedding. I'd definitely ask the bride both about the color and length of your dress.