Is there anything more I can do to increase my carbon footprint?

Question

I already:

1. Drive a car with a V8 engine
2. Have my thermostat set on a comfy 78 degrees 24/7.
3. Use all the TP I need to get it done down there.
4. Eat nonorganic foods.
5. Consume paper and/or plastic bags after trips to grocery and other stores.
6. Wear clothes made in far away lands by "exploited" workers who are grateful for the work.

Any other ideas for me? Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

You, sir, are a disgrace to the "Conspicuous Consumers of America". You could be leaving TWICE the carbon footprint, maybe even triple it, with a little forethought and sacrifice.

First, turn down that A/C! I know, I know, your electric bill will go up, but that's just the price you have to pay for having a man sized carbon footprint. Your thermostat should be set no higher than 74 and , the closer you can get to (yep, you guessed it!) ...69...the better.

Second, you didn't mention the burning of household waste. Of course, that may be because this is the summertime, but, when winter comes, be sure you burn as much of your trash as possible. If you don't have time, then please...donate it to a cold, homeless man under a bridge.

Third, and finally, are you preparing future generations to use up our resources? How many kids do you have? Are they leaving the refridgerator door open while they spend hours browsing for food? Do they leave the front door open while the a/c or heat is on?

These are important issues to ensure that the carbon level rises as quickly as possible. Only then will we know for sure if global warming is real or just a myth. Please, everyone, do your part too.

Thanks, and have great day!

Answer 2

I have had a bad case of global warming for the past 2 days. I have personally released several tons of methane and sulfer compounds into the air. This has caused the increase use of air freshner, which I am sure is not good for the environment but made things smell better. Just don't come near me with a match. I am quite explosive right now. I have had to warm the planet by about .00001 of a degree because tomorrow it is supposed to be 80 degrees in April.

Answer 3

Wear bigger shoes. Get it? Footprint!


PS.
#2 is actually fairly good in terms of energy efficiency.
#4 hurts you more than the environment. There isn't a whole lot organic vs. inorganic has to do with CO2 emmissions. Rather it has to do with chemicals and hormones in your meat and vegitables, many of which have unknown effects on people.
#6 this hurts americas economy just as much as it hurts the environment. Two words, trade deficit.

Answer 4

Eat a boat load of beans, eggs, hot mammas and cabbage..... EVERY DAY. HEHEHEH

OH YEAH> and drink lots of DARK BEER. That should definitely increase your carbon footprint for all to enjoy. ;-D

Answer 5

HAHAHAHAHA, that's a riot. I don't know, sounds like you've got it all set. Although you could probably ask Al Gore and he'd give you some good advice.

I don't blame you for wanting to increase it with all thes stupid hub bub about global warming, but maybe you shouldn't care so much and just live your life.

Answer 6

Eat carbon.

Answer 7

Kill yourself. Being that we are largely carbon-based lifeforms, your body will in some way release more carbon into the atmosphere.

Really, staying alive is slacking. Do it now.

Answer 8

Don't worry about it u are helping the plants grow big and strong. They need CO2 as much as we need oxygen.

Answer 9

Put your head in the toilet keep flushing until the water supply runs dry

Answer 10

Most important support the Republican party!