I'm vegan but my parents are forcing me to eat eggs and dairy products!?

Question

( We are chinese family(AKA parents say, kids obey) ) When we were visiting relatives in shanghai they were all like,* How can you let your child do this?* *It'll make her deformed** You'll get pale and weak and ill* And my parents were embrassed so now I have to eat eggs and dairy products just foe their face! I don't miss meat but how can I get back to my vegan ways?

Do they suck?

pup princess: I can't! I must drink cows milk!!! I know it sucks

Vet Dreamer: I'm eleven, can I not listen to my parents?

I was perfectly healthy

Answer 1

“It is the position of the American Dietetic Association and Dietitians of Canada that appropriately planned vegetarian diets are healthful, nutritionally adequate and provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases.”

“Well-planned vegan and other types of vegetarian diets are appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including during pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood and adolescence. Vegetarian diets offer a number of nutritional benefits, including lower levels of saturated fat, cholesterol, and animal protein as well as higher levels of carbohydrates, fiber, magnesium, potassium, folate, and antioxidants such as vitamins C and E and phytochemicals. Vegetarians have been reported to have lower body mass indices than nonvegetarians, as well as lower rates of death from ischemic heart disease; vegetarians also show lower blood cholesterol levels; lower blood pressure; and lower rates of hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and prostate and colon cancer.“

-ADA’s and Dietitians of Canada position on Vegetarian and Vegan diets

Answer 2

Hi,

I am not a vegan, nor a vegetarian, but I understand the desire for many people to avoid eating meat and, in the case of vegans, to avoid using anything that came from an animal.

I also understand your parents reaction to the Shanghai relatives who made all the fairly predictable comments about your health.

However, you don't LIVE in Shanghai, so neither you nor your parents need to pay too much attention to what they say.

I'm sure they didn't say those things for any malicious purpose, but maybe you don't (or didn't?) look too well when you saw them? Their comments were, in their eyes, made to help you be healthy (even though you probably are!)

I also understand the 'Parents say, kids obey' attitude and the possibility that your parents are insisting you eat the foods you find distasteful to 'save face' (a big thing, I know, to the Chinese) but...
...regardless of any 'rules' imposed on your eating by your parents no-one (NO-ONE!) should be forced to eat anything they don't want, especially when it is for a good reason.

You don't say how old you are, so I don't know whether you are of an age that could allow you to move out of the parental home and into your own, where you can eat, or not eat, whatever you like. That is the option I would go for...there's no need to 'fall out' with your parents over it. Just make it plain you wish to live as a vegan and their dietary choice is not acceptable to you.

You've probably already tried, but perhaps you could arrange a 'sit down' discussion? Ask them first if you can have some time...make it a proper meeting and be well prepared.

Tell them how unhappy their 'rules' are making you and tell them you are thinking of leaving. They may (?) consider this and change their mind about insisting you eat and drink the things they presently insist on. I don't hold out TOO much hope, as I am aware that the Chinese midset can be pretty inflexible when it comes to saving face. But the happiness of their daughter is also on their list of priorities, so there is a chance.

Whatever the outcome, I hope you end up with a happy and fulfilled life and still retain the love of a caring family.

Good luck,
BobSpain

Answer 3

Yes, I can understand.

I wanted to be vegetarian when I was a child, but my mother wouldn't let me. She was a nurse and she said "you'll be anemic" "your muscles will atrophy" "we have to eat meat to live, that's God's plan for us, in Heaven we won't have to eat meat." I had to just forget about for many years.

I didn't really become a vegetarian until I was 27. By then, my mom had no legal right to tell me what to do. She still argued with me a lot, but I read books about and so on so I could argue back. I finally won the argument and she backed off. My mother was a very intelligent lady, although she was misinformed about vegetarianism, but she really meant the best for me. Now she's gone and I wish I could have one of the arguments with her again.

Answer 4

My parents are like that also,I'm from Philippines ( close to China ).Just tell your parents what you feel eating meat and dairy products.Maybe they will understand.Being a Vegan is not prejudical.But if your 10 or 12 years old you need to listen to your parents.Im 12 and im forced to eat meat.

Answer 5

I think you should just sit down with your parents and have a chat about why you want to give up. Hopefully, they will understand and let you be Vegan. If they are still desperate to get you to drink milk, say to them you'll drink soya milk. It is packed with nutrients yet is suitable for vegans.

Answer 6

Its a matter of talking and trying to get them to see your way. A vegan diet is great providing you are well read and informed on nutrients and you are getting all your vitamins. Rather than make you eat dairy and eggs perhaps your aprents could help you look into alternative protein sources and help ith menus and planning. in my family we have two tolerances - religious tolerance and diet tolerance. Everybody is encouraged to eat what they like and feal comfortable doing - other parents have different views. Goodluck.

Answer 7

Well, when you visit relatives, eat those items and keep away the other times. I am surprised that being chinese, you want to be vegan. If you want to stick to your principles, you need to educate the parents and other relatives and if needed, defy them.

Answer 8

You're in a tough position. You want to respect your parents, which I admire. But you also want to follow your own dietary preference. I'm vegetarian (not vegan, though). When I visit a friend of mine she always serves lunch and sometimes it will be meat. I always eat it and say nothing to her about it. My diet is my choice, not hers, and it makes more sense to me to respect my friend in her home, rather than impose my personal choice on her. If you are living in your parents home, you will be making the best choice to respect their wishes. A lacto-ovo vegetarian diet is quite healthy as long as it's in moderation. Request that they buy only organic milk and eggs (preferably cage free). I think that would be a reasonable compromise.

Answer 9

In a vegan diet, you might not get all the nutrition you need. Your parents have your best interests at heart, I'm sure. Eggs provide protien and dairy products provide calcium and vitamin D. I'm sure there are alternatives to these for the vegan diet, but your parents may not be so sure. Try talking to them, show them how you can get the necessary nutrition with the vegan diet. If they still aren't convinced, just remember you are still under their roof and until you are grown, they can make the decisions for you.
Good luck!
;)

Answer 10

You don't say how old you are, but until you are of age your parents are responsible - LEGALLY - for the state of your health. If they allow you to cause yourself harm by way of this diet then in some areas they can be prosecuted for child abuse & neglect.

Even an ovo-lacto vegetarian life style takes a good deal of planning to be healthy. A strict vegan diet requires even more planning to provide adequate nutrition for growing children. Most doctors and nutritionists recommend against strict vegan diets for children.

This has nothing to do with your parents "saving face" and it isn't cultural either. It has to do with them acting as parents must, by law.

Be grateful they are allowing you to follow an ovo-lacto vegetarian diet. And remember that you catch far more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. Most parents would see further argument as "temper tantrums." That is not the way to change their mind.