Veggie Girls - How fo you deal with your meat-eating boyfriend?

Question

We try and stay out of eachothers' way and keep our opinions to ourselves, but sometimes when I am in a bad mood I can be preachy or when I cook for him he gets moody about the fact there is no meat involved in my cooking. What do you do to deal with something you are so passionate about that someone you love treats as something menial? Thanks in advance....PLEASE no snarky remarks I am just trying to get a question answered here.

Fran - Why would you suggest I get a grip? I am not a preachy vegetarian, and I would never force a new eating habit apon him, I am making an effort to ask VEGETARIANS how to deal with it, not how to convert him, did you even read my question?

I do appreciate your advice, but I did not ask your advice on the subject of vegetarianism or animal cruelty, that's a different post. I asked for something you obviously can't answer because it isn't in your field. Not trying to be rude, just a little offended I was told to get a grip...

Answer 1

I don't see what else but to start feeling comfortable with it or make a compromise.

He obviously doesn't eat meat just to set you off, and he obviously doesn't feel the same way about animals (and all that stuff), so try getting used to it.

If not, then try to make a compromise. When you cook, if it's no big deal make two seperate dishes. Or if it really bothers you, ask him if he'll not eat meat in front of you.

Answer 2

I've been with my boyfriend for over five years and when I gave up meat and animal products, he would question me and try to challenge me. But, since I'm well read on the subject, I always came up with a good answer. I was never preachy. . .I never told him to change. Since it is a passion, I'd talk about it in passing like I'd talk about art as a passion (I'm an artist). He was an avid meat eater, too. And I heard every question in the book. I never got defensive to these questions. . .just talked about it like any passive conversation. I'm healthier than I ever was, too, and I think he notices this. A year ago, out of nowhere and much to my surprise, he stopped eating meat. He now raves about how he used to be so tired all the time and isn't anymore. . .how much more energy he has. I just giggle cuz I knew it all along. And he even is sure to ask if his food has any meat in it. I still can't believe it sometimes. I never imagined it would happen. So I guess if you love your guy, where there's a will there's a way. Read up well on it, offer answers when it's asked of you, and deal with it. If you love each other enough, there's always a way to work around it.

P.S. I'm a Sagittarius to a T, making me very blunt and overly honest with the people who are closest to me. And I absolutely loathe any expectation that because I'm a woman I should be cooking for a man. So, when he points out something I may be doing wrong in the kitchen (or anywhere else), I simply look at him and say "If you don't like the way I do it, do it your damn self." I've told him time and time again just because I have a vagina does not mean I'm missing anything and certainly does not make me his maid. And I've fashioned quite an awesome guy out of him. :) So we sometimes cook together, and if I want something different then he wants, he prepares his meal himself. And he does dishes most of the time. And to further break down some stereotypes, he's from the Middle East. :)

Answer 3

How do you expect your question to be answered when you can't even keep the issue consistent?

but sometimes when I am in a bad mood I can be preachy or when I cook for him he gets moody about the fact there is no meat involved in my cooking.

Why would you suggest I get a grip? I am not a preachy vegetarian, and I would never force a new eating habit apon him

Answer 4

I had the exact same problem with my guy. My boyfriend felt bad for the animals though, but his excuse was "meat taste good." Here's what I think you should do. He should respect you and not expect you to cook meat for him. Make good vegetarian/vegan dinners, which ever you are, and make nothing with meat. Even use fake meats to help him cope with it better. Tell him that if he doesn't like what you cook, then he can always go make dinner for himself. No one's forcing him to eat what you make.

Your guy should just accept this then. You shouldn't have to make special accomodations to suit him either because going without meat and instead eating a vegetarian dinner won't kill him. If you're a good cook too, then he shouldn't complain. This worked for my boyfriend really well. After a while, he had to just stop using "meat taste good" as an excuse not to become vegan and now he's vegan.

Cooking meat just seems wrong to me since you're a vegetarian/vegan because you're still contributing to the animals being killed. You might as well just eat it yourself since you cooked it in my opinion. Good luck with how things go.

Edit:
Oh, and also, the decision is still yours. You should just do whatever YOU feel is the right thing to do, whether it's to continue cooking meat or stop. Just don't do something though if you'll just constantly feel bad about it.

Answer 5

I try and stay out of my lovie's way where food is concerned. He's a staunch meat eater (he's one of those who is convinced that humans have "sharp" canines for consuming meat...haha!). He's okay w/ the fact that I'm a veg and I'm okay w/ the fact that he's not. It's a matter of personal choice.
I think you both need to show some restraint when it comes to arguments - no name calling and no attacking each other's beliefs.
If he doesn't like what you cook, tell him to fix what he would like...and while he's at it, try fixing you some veggie food as well. I'm fairly certain that as soon as the tables are turned, he'll appreciate what you go through trying to prepare something you both can eat.
Good luck with that! :-)

Answer 6

I would tell him that your beliefs are important to you, and in order to respect you, he must respect the vegetarian part of you as well.

Cook your veg dinners, and allow him to make a little pan of meat (yes, he can get his bum in the kitchen as well). When you are done cooking he can but his animal flesh on his plate of food. He can keep animal flesh in the fridge as long as it is on the bottom shelf.

Also, when you get mad, don't get preachy. Relationships are about compromise.

If he continues to belittle your belief and lifestyle, it may be a sign that something is wrong in your relationship and in how he views your place in the relationship. This may or may not be the case, so watch out. He doesn't have to become veg, but there is nothing wrong with finding someone who respects you as a valid human with valid beliefs.

Good luck.

Answer 7

My husband eats meat but so far it hasn't really been an issue in our relationship, especially since he doesn't need to eat meat at every meal. Thankfully we like the same kinds of food, like Thai and Indian, so when we go out to eat we go places where we can both get plenty of food. I told him that I don't mind if he eats meat at home, I'm just not going to cook it for him. I don't want to handle meat and since I grew up vegetarian, I don't know HOW to cook it, and I'd be afraid of making him sick by cooking it wrong. So, if he wants a burger he's welcome to cook it up himself.

We respect eachother's choices. I don't preach to him about my vegetarianism (when we were dating he asked me about it and I explained my reasons), and he doesn't make fun of me or try to argue that I'll be weak and sick if I don't eat meat. If your boyfriend whines about there not being any meat in his food, why don't you suggest that he cook his own meals? You can best deal with it by respecting the other person's choices and by not using your dietary choices as ammunition in fights.

Answer 8

I too am a Veggie Girl. I don't pass my lifestyle on friends that eat meat. When I cook I cook for myself and a second dish for the many meat eaters I know.

Answer 9

A true relationship is made up of equals. if he is moaning about the lack of meat he is questioning your moral beliefs and saying his beliefs are worth more.

He probably does not see it as a moral issue, just as a lifestyle choice. These are totally different, many meat-eaters cannot see the difference and so have no clue how important it is to you.

If it were 2 religions, you would work it out and respect each others view.

i suggest you tell him clearly its a problem, if he does not accept your views then he does not respect you.

Answer 10

Well, discuss this with him. Maybe you could make a contract that you will not preach and he won't sulk about no meat meals. Discuss how often you each will prepare shared meals. Decide on a neutral code word or phrase to clue each other when you're breaking the contract. Good luck