Want to be a vegetarian, complications and need some help?

Question

So this is the problem. I really want to be a vegatarian but I still live with my parents. My mom is open to the idea if I go to a dietician, but my dad isn't. My dad lived on a farm as a child, and they raised and slaughtered animals. Awhile ago I told him about my ex-friend who was a vegatarian. He said stuff like,"Vegatiarians are stupid, And "man was meant to eat meat." Yesterday when we were eating breakfast my younger sister was looking at the fat content in milk and decide she didn't want to drink that kind of milk. My dad said that you needed fat and meat. Then in almost in a yelling voice he said,"There will be no vegatarians in this house. You have to eat meat! Any vegatarians can move out. I was screaming and yelling inside. I now hate eating meat especially if there are still bones or fat or any other gross part. I haven't talked to my dad yet, and my mom briefly. Does any have any suggestions or expirence?

I already asked this question in the pet section, but wanted some other input too.

Wow, you guys all rock. There was so much great advice I totally appreacite it. From all of my answers, including my question in the pet section, I think I now know what I am going to do. I am
A:Do my research
B:Show her my research
C:Have a presentation about vegatarians, with my mom their
D:Hope that this works
Once again, thanks so much to everyone. It was difficult to pick a best answer.

Sorry about the spelling or grammer mistakes.

Answer 1

Your dad sounds like he has very fixed ideas about what his family should be eating. In my oppinion everybody should be allowed to eat what they want for their own health and well being. If he wants to eat meat and drink high fat milk fine but his daughters who may be weight conscious should not have to live by his view because at the end of the day its your body and your health - thats an important point. I dont know how old you are but the fact you have your mumon side (it sounds) amy help. Yes it sounds like a diet/nutrition delemna. When meat eaters think of vegetarians they think of rabbit food - lettuce, spinache etc. They think of anemia but thats not really the case if you eat a ballanced meal.

Cholesterol (which is only found in animal products) and high levels of saturated fats have been linked with heart disease. Removing animal products from your diet, or reducing your consumption of them, can considerably reduce your chances of developing heart-related problems. Reducing your consumption of animal products can also help reduce the probability of developing certain forms of cancer. For instance, studies have shown that vegetarians have up to 40% less chance of developing bowel cancer. With heart disease and cancer being the leading causes of death in western countries, the importance of reducing our consumption of meat and animal products cannot be underestimated.

So your mum has a sugestion about a dietician and that is good. I dont know your dad he may come around if he can be convinced that vegetarian food is ok.

Here's a funny story - my dad loved pies and would buy a store bought meat pi at the shop whenever he could. He was quite old at this time (late 70s) and walked past this shop which had pies in the window so he went to buy one and the lady told him they were vegetarian - so he said he would have one anyway (I think he realised there were no other bakeries about and this was his only chance for a treat) and you what he said "They were bloody beautiful" and went back for his pie and this was a man who ate meat 2 times a day 7 days week. THere are literally 1000s of meatless meals all very tasty and very diverse. Now it may take time and in the mean time you Read read Read about vegetarian meals and diet. Below are some web sites and good luck. Also the vegetarian society web site below is a great place to start with great breakfast ideas etc. ou can start now by having a cooked breakfast without the sausages or bacon - just eggs and mushrooms and tomatoes and whole greain toast. Also read up on vegan recipes and dont confuse the two. remember vegans eat no animal products what so ever but vegetarians only eat products from live animas - honey, yeast, butter, dairy, milk, eggs etc. And pesco vegetarians eat fish and vegetables.
Recipes without meat

Cheezy Bean Bake"
A Quiche to Build a Dream on
Aloo Mutter
Alu Kobi Kassa
Autumn pumpkin barley risotto
Bhutanese Barley in a Bowl
Broccoli with Peanut Sauce, Coriander and Basil
Burritos
Carrot & Leek Parcels with Garlic & Basil Sauce - Vegetarian only
CC's Tofu Stirfry - Vegetarian only
Chick Pea Curry
Chickpea & Sweet Potatoe Curry
Chickpea Curry
Chilli Beans
Chilli con vegout cocoa wine divine
Curry
Chinese Style Eggplant
Corn & Leek Soup
Creamy Sun-dried Pasta, Dahl,
Easy Dahl, Easy,breezy,no fuss,mum's fat-free dinner, eggplant stew, Erbacious Pizza, Fast and Tasty Sausage Curry - Vegetarian only, Fettuccine Pescara, fluffles (with avocado topping: optional), French Onion Quiche, Fresh Lime & Chilli Soy Slices with pickled cucumbers, Friday Night Video and Nachos - Vegetarian only, Gnocci with spinach, pine nuts and fetta - Vegetarian only, Goodmorning Couscous, Gorgeous tomato quorn onion quiche, Healthy Vegie Pizza Turnovers - Vegetarian only, Hiziki & Cucumber with Ginger Dressing, Honey Mustard Noodles - Vegetarian only, Iron Plus Pasta Meal, KR Autumn Couscous, Laksa, Lasagna with Feta, Spinach and Pumpkin - Vegetarian only, Latkes: Potato and Tofu Fritters, Lemon Tahini Rice and Beans, Lentil and Vegetable Casserole, Lentil Barley Loaf - Vegetarian only, Lentil Cottage Pie, Lentil Loaf, Lentil Shepherd's Pie - Vegetarian only, Lentil soup/mush with brown rice and tofu, Ma Po Tofu, Meaty Vegan Lasagne, Meowee's Lentil Burgers, Mexican Bean Dip, Mixed Vegetable Curry, Mushroom & Capsicum Stuffed Potatoes, Mushroom and Cranberry Pilauf, Mushroom, Nut and Herb Patties,

Oven-Fried Breast Of Tofu
Pasta with Coriander and Eggplant
Pasta with Mushroom-Hazelnut Sauce
Pasta With Oil
Pecan Nut Roast
Pineapple Curry
Pizza Bases, Potato Fritters Indian Style, Potato Nut Pie, Pumpkin & Spinach Cannelloni, Pumpkin & Tomato Rissotto, Quick Bean and Zucchini Stew, Rajna & aloo (kidney bean & potato) curry, Red Cooked Tofu, Mock Red Curry Duck and Bamboo Shoots, Red lentil ( dahl) casserole - Vegetarian only, Roasted Vegetable Pasta, savoury lentil spagetti - Vegetarian only, Sesame Soba Noodles, Shanes Bean and Tofu Tarts, Shepherds Pie,Shepherd's Pie 2, Spagetti Lentil Bolognaise, Spicy Potato & Spinach Casserole, Spinach and 'Ricotta' (ie tofu) Canellonni, Spinich & Ricotta Ravioli in a Rich Tomato Sauce, Split Pea and Potato Curry
Stir Fried Vegetable and Cashew Noodles, Stirfry tofu and vegie Noodles. Stuffed White Nut Roast, Sugo Pasta Bake - Vegetarian only. Sunday Roast, Superfast Saucy Bean Curd, Sweet & Sour Tempeh, Sweet Dahl, Tempeh ′Sausage′ Patties, Tempeh Teriyaki
Thai Curry
Thai Pumpkin & Broccoli Curry
Thick Buttermilk Porridge - Vegetarian only
Tofu with Shitake Mushrooms & Ginger
Tomato Rice
TVP Bologanaise
Vegan Fettuccine Alfredo
Vegan Lasagna
Vege Lasagne
Vegetable Curry Masala
Vegetarian Bolognaise
Vegetarian Shepherd′s Pie - Vegetarian only
Veggie burgers with sweet chilli mayo dressing - Vegetarian only
Veggie Curry
Veggie Roast w/- Herb & Garlic Dressing
Vietnamese Spring Rolls wth Soy/Lime Dipping Sauce
Wild Rice and Mushroom Stew
Zucchini pasta

Answer 2

This sounds like a really emotional topic for your dad, so it might be best if you are patient yet persistent when you talk to him & try to stay calm when you explain your side of things. Maybe your dad would be more open to your desire to be vegetarian if he would do a little research on the subject, as it sounds like he's got some common misconceptions. I'm not implying that your dad normally is a confused person, but misconceptions about vegetarians are really common.
One really good book is *Diet for a New America* by John Robbins. It's a relatively old book but it's still valid & would clear up a lot of his confusion. There are a ton of other books as well & it might help if he were to talk with a dietician.
Since your dad was raised on a farm, he might have the idea that "food" animals are still treated fairly well until the day they are killed. This is no longer the case for nearly all "food" animals, especially anyone you buy @ a supermarket or fast-food place.
If your dad thinks vegetarians are stupid, does he put Albert Einstein, Leonardo DaVinci & Sir Paul McCartney in that category? Maybe he doesn't know any vegetarians personally, or the ones that he has met happen to fall into the stereotype of flaky, self-righteous granola heads, which are *not* typical vegetarians. Also, TV characters who are vegetarian are usually shown as not very bright or very sincere & are usually only vegetarian until the end of the episode. If you notice how many commercials there are for fast food places, it's easy to see why the TV tells you to that it's normal, smart & good to eat meat.
Good luck with this. I wish I had been able to be vegetarian while I was living with my parents but they were either incredibly misinformed or simply not being honest with me (mom insisted I couldn't survive w/o meat & dad told me my hair would fall out. Actually, my hair grows faster now than it was before I became vegetarian).

Answer 3

Yeah, he is scary. If you can hold off on being a vegetarian while you are living at home, do so.

My dad used to yell at me a lot for stuff that made no sense. I think he thought everything I did was me rebelling against him when really it was just me wanting to live my own life. I haven't lived at home in 5 years (I am 23), and am so very thankful.

If you feel very strongly that you want to be a vegetarian while still living under his roof, go to a psychological counselor and tell them about your problem. Maybe your mom can help you find one. Their job is to help people like us get through situations like this. That is the only way I learned to deal effectively with my father without getting very mad or offended all the time.

Good luck. You will be old enough to move out soon!

Answer 4

If your mom is at least somewhat supportive, I'd suggest talking to her about it more. See if she has ideas to help make your dad see your choice as an acceptable one. She knows him better than any of us, obviously, so if there is any way to make him accept it, she will be the most useful in figuring it out.

It sounds like your dad is very authoritarian though, so there might just not be any way to do this with his blessings. In that case, it will be up to you and your mother to decide whether or not you're willing to go against his wishes. How old are you? If moving out on your own soon is an option (if you're say 17+), then perhaps trying to do so sooner is your best bet. It is your life to live... but having lived with a "dictator"-type father myself... I know that simply ignoring such a person will not always work. In my case, it seemed his main intention in life was to make everyone else miserable, whether it benefited him or not... some people are just that way.

Good luck!

Answer 5

If you really believe in it, I know that you can do it! I can see how you feel because my parents weren't thrilled about my decision and my family still calls me stupid, and my grandfather owned his own mini-slaughter house, but I got all of this information on it (not really mentioning the main reason why i wanted to become so... it was for the animals) and I told my mom about how much healthier vegetarians are and how they live longer and how low the obesity rate is, and though she still thought it was stupid she realized that it was something important enough for me to research on and I really cared about it and she couldn't change my decision so work on it! They'll both come around eventually. Good luck! I hope I could have helped.

** Oh yea you can print out some YUMMY recipes so that your parents see that being vegetarian isn't a sacrifice, but a healthier, yummier, alternative!

Answer 6

If your dad actually yells at you about it, then I would recommend you never mention it to him again. Don't even continue a discussion that he initiates until he proves to you that he can speak like an adult. Has he threatened that you not live in his house? it is a pretty stupid to turn your own family away because they don't want to eat dead animals.
On top of that, someone can go to jail if they put their own child on the street. Either way, you must never argue or verbally attack them for eating meat. This will just make it harder to live your life the way you feel is right.

Please read as much as you can about vegetarian nutrition before you talk to them about it.
http://www.pcrm.org/health/veginfo/vsk/food_groups.html
That entire site has lots of information regarding veg health.

If your mom is totally misunderstanding of your feelings or acts totally crazy about it, refuse to talk to her about it unless she can talk to you calmly and respect you as a person and not just a child. If she wants to know why you want to be veg, make her watch this
http://meat.org
and read this
http://www.veganoutreach.com/whyvegan

Never give up. Just because you are young does not mean that anyone, including your parents can walk all over your beliefs. If things are difficult, make sure you read about healthy veg diets you may be able to refuse just the meat that your parents want to give you.

If they are respectful of your decision, please by all means, talk to them as long as it takes for them to appreciate your point of view.

Answer 7

I had a similar experience when i decided to become a vegetarian, i was 13. It all comes down to this: no one can FORCE u to eat something u dont want to. but dont rebel. sit down with him and explain ur reasoning and that u at least want him to respect ur decision and allow u to try it out. but remember u still have to eat a balanced diet so make sure u get enough protein and that kind of thing. im cuban, and meat is a daily thing. so my parents were...less than understanding. but i stood my ground and was very respectful about it. i didnt try to enforce my ideals and values upon them and they tried to do the same for me. they tried to ..."sabatoge".. me a couple of times...but u just have to keep communication open. good luck.

Answer 8

I my self am a vegetarian, and at first my mom wasn't very happy about it. She was worried about me not getting enough protein, and nutrients to grow. But when i explained to her that i was serious about it, and would work hard to stay healthy, she warmed up to the idea. Talk to your dad about how I'mportant it is to you, and that it makes you sick to see and eat meat. But im not saying to totally forget meat, warm up to it by eating small amounts, and trying to substitute with veggie meat. Just remember no matter how mad your dad may seem, he still loves you and will support you. Congratulations and good luck!!!

Answer 9

maybe try to talk ur mom first cuz it seems like she would be the easy first.than maybe she could talk to ur dad for u.moms are good at that.also maybe try asking the in parenting and adolescence too.they might be able to help.They have gave good advice about me going veggie and how to talk to my mom

Answer 10

thats rude, your dad should let you eat what you want...
i have been a vegetarian for 3 and a half years now and my mom respects it
i think you should just talk to your dad, tell him its what you want to do