my parents don't respect each other??

Question

don't get me wrong, i mean they are great parents to me and my two other siblings.(a good provider too) but they don't respest each other. they fight openly in front of us. my father use harsh words on my mom and belittled her right in front of us. sometimes i get pissed off and tell him to shut up. my mother, in the other hand are bottling everything inside and explode once in a while.im losing the respect i have for them. how can i get over all of this?? this kinda thing can affect your future relationships rite?? how do i get over it??

i did try to talk to them, but, well, there is no result.

Answer 1

You don't get over it, you just never let it get control over you.

People fight. Parents fight in front of their kids. It happens. If you are aware of the respect and the family dynamics, which you obviously are, then you know where it stems from and have a better insight into having a good relationship than people who never see this type of parental interaction.

You think people learn how to be in relationships by watching prince and princess perfect behavior? By being in nice wonderful loving relationships then leaving for no reason? People learn from mistakes. If they are other people's mistakes then that's better.

Just because two people fight doesn't mean they don't have respect for each other. People who have been together a long time fall into habits and their displays can appear so emotionally charged that it even fools their own children.

Look, there is a whole different level to your mom and dad that you won't know because it is between them. It is a subtext to life and it weaves throughout their family life. Your father could be yelling at your mom with about as much spirit behind it as asking for a cup of coffee. Your mom could be storing up her anger at him on the level of being mad that your favorite player only got one point instead of two. The outward display of hostility between parents in front of their offspring is often dramatically overstated.

Harsh words are not abuse. They may or may not be true. It may not be nice, but life isn't all fun and candy.

The best way to get over it is to not think about it anymore. If you think somebody is being victimized talk to them, but you don't really have any choices besides talking to people or ignoring it.

Your parents are together. Be glad for that and if you can do anything to make their lives easier then do that. You can preach a bit better when you've contributed to the family in some way. Otherwise people won't listen to you.

Answer 2

No offense, but you'll never be able to make them stop. You can ignore it, you can drown them out with music, and you can make sure your siblings know that normal parents don't do this (if they're younger) and that it's not a healthy relationship.

If two people really can't respect each other enough to keep their fights private, it won't matter much what their kid says to them. You just have to keep in mind that not all parents fight, and you have to remember how this felt, when you have children, and not do it in front of them. You may not be able to stop them, but you can still learn from them.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you can't change them. You can tell them how you feel about how they treat each other. Call for a family meeting with them and your siblings. Lay it out on the table for them and let them know how it effects you. It will be up to them to change or not.

The way this will effect your future relationships, is you will make sure it doesn't happen in your marriage. You won't put up with it from the very start, you will make it clear from the get go.

Answer 4

Im a parent myself, is good that you actually realize that is not healthy what they are doing.
As long as you can keep that in your mind you should be fine.
Have you tried talking to them?

Answer 5

I mean....umm...try to ignore it? I'm sorry...I'm going through that right now. I wish I could be of some help.

Answer 6

she gone snapp on his ***.he better stop