to tell or not to tell???

Question

ok see i have this problem
its a kind of big problem
im a self mutilater (cutting burning overdosing)
and this is a resultant of many things
including my abusive dad
my m.s. mother (multiple sclereosis) who always turns to the drink
and the fact ive always had to be addicted to something or someone
drinks drugs basically everything
so heres the question
ive finally decided i want to change
and its taken my awhile to get to this point
and ive lost a lot of people along the way
the question is
do i take my friends advice and tell my pastor who she thinks can really help me
or
do i keep it a secret?
and yes i have a pyschologist
though hes full of crap....
and yes im a teen

i plan on maybe getting a new pyschologist i dunno though i really dont like them and yeah i feel comfortable around the pastor i told him about my dad in the car first night i met him ....

ive told people i trust in the past & they always end up hurting me with it....the only one who hasnt is my new friend the one that wants me to talk to the pastor and im just tired of gettig hurt yeah id love to tell him but im scared im totally petrified mortified scared like freaking out scared but i want more than anything to tell him because i know that he could be the start of a life without cutting and id really like that well some days anyway

Answer 1

Talk to anyone that may have even the slightest chance of helping.

If you can ,get out of your environment and into a healthy one, you will stand a much better chance of doing what you want.

Just because they gave birth to you does not mean you have to endure any abuse. And it is all abuse, no matter what the reason behind the action.

Just realizing you have a problem is a major step in the right direction of getting straight and having self confidence.

Just remember, those you are leaving behind will do anything to keep you in their misery, don't listen to them and don't believe anything they tell you.

You can do it, it takes strength, courage, and faith.

Hang in there, I'm pulling for you.

Answer 2

Yes, I think you should talk to your Pastor. But, given the circumstances you need to see a psychiatrist. A professional who can get deeper into your mental state. You need serious help, so find a professional who can guide you along the way. DO NOT go though with this alone, find the true beauty within yourself, no matter what life has offered so far. You are your own true best friend. Seek help and find people you can talk to about this problem. Forget your past, it has already forgotten you. See the present, which is the only sure thing you have now. Make it better, make it for you. Nobody deserves pain, but it comes with the package. Now, it is up to you to either make it work for your advantage or not. Read a good self-help book, they are always inspiring and they give you hope. (If life is a game, these are the Rules, Sherryl Scott {I don't think I got the name right}) is a good one. I recomend it to you. You are good the way you were created, make yourself worth; you already are.

Answer 3

Yes, I think you should try talking to your pastor, be honest but stress that your problems are deep, and mostly that you want to change. He is a should be a great source of direction and will probably have a name of a better psychologist or therapist.

I am sorry for your terrible past, but mine is not so different. What ever you do, remember you are lovable and your parents are in their own mess and aren't very good at showing love to anyone - especially themselves. For whatever reason, it appears they can't handle the stresses in their life in a healthy way. But just because they are unhealthy, doesn't mean that you can't be healthy and make healthy and loving decisions for yourself.

I pray that you will get the direction from this pastor that you desparately need. When you want to harm yourself or use drugs or whatever, call your friend or the pastor. Remember, you could call him and talk to him, or you could see him an dask him to respect your need to remain anonymous, and tell him your first name only.

YOu have the power to get though this!! This first step is admiting that there is a problem. Then you seek help, and your on the road to change.

Most of all you must BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN CHANGE with the help of G-D.

Tell yourself, constantly, that you are in control of yourself and starting today you will change you life. Whatever abuse happened was not your fault! If you fall down, get back up and start your day over again - even if it is the fourth time in a 24 hour day. Each time I screw up, my day ends and I start with a fresh, clean, safe, new day. It may sound strange but it works for me.

Peace.

Answer 4

I am a retired pastor, and I have a son who did self-mutilation.

There are some things pastors can do well. They teach Christian beliefs. They plan for and supervise church activities. They visit people in hospitals and homes. They generally are good listeners and can help many people get through crisis periods in their lives. But your situation as you describe it falls outside the training and experience of almost all pastors. If you had come to me, I would have referred you to a mental health professional. I could continue to be your pastor and a friend, but I couldn't give you the important help that only a mental health professional is trained and licensed to provide.

It seems to me you are at an important point in your life. 1) You recognize that you have a problem and 2) you want to do something about it, and 3) you are young enough that with the right kind of help you can overcome your problem. There are a lot of people who never get to this point. Take advantage of this opportunity and get an appointment right away with someone who has the training to help you.

Religion and therapy may together be more help for you than either one alone. If you like this pastor and find her to be a caring person, by all means continue to associate with her. Attend your church activities if you find them to be uplifting and helpful. Many people feel that faith gives them direction and comfort. God knows after what you have been through, comfort is a good thing. But as for the specific issues that you have mentioned, you deserve the specialized care that only a mental health professional can provide.

Answer 5

I have seen pastors that are not so good at counseling so not knowing him I couldnt say. However it is important f you to know that you can get through this and have a full life with out all the punishment. Haveing had a relative that did simular things I have seen the possibility to be full and happy. You can do it girl! Shopping for a good therapist is your right. It is a very personal thing and you need to have a great bond with the one you choose so shop around if you can and keep believeing in yourself.

Answer 6

If you're not getting anywhere with your current therapist then definitely get another. Do you write poetry or stories? Do you draw or paint? Find something you can get creative with, fashion, music, writing, etc. Also, try going out to a field or hiking, find a place where no one is around and scream until you can't scream no more. Or do something physical, sports or dancing, and do it until you're completely wiped out. Cutting is a difficult thing to give up. I know because I've had my own battle with it. Are there any support groups where you're at, like Al-anon or a Boys & Girls club? You need a good support base. If you feel talking to your pastor will help or give you the support you need, than you should do it. Is there any one else you can live with? You need to surround yourself with people who truly care about your well-being and who will support you and the changes you need to make to heal your mind, body, and soul. The friend who wants you to talk to your pastor sounds like a keeper. It sounds like she truly cares about you getting the help you need to get stronger. And that's a good start. Keep your head up and good luck to you.

Answer 7

I agree with those suggesting changing therapists - trying the pastor - and even seeking other alternatives. The secret is to keep looking until you find a support system you trust. Just don't have your expectations so high that if you try the pastor (or whoever) and you're disappointed, you give up. Stay strong, stay focused, and don't justify sabotaging this goal.

Answer 8

First it is good that you decided to seek help, and yes I am sure your pastor would be able to help you and a new psychologist. It takes a while to find someone that you can trust, however I have been to a psychologist and I thought it was pretty much a waste of time, but don't give up, keep trying and find people who will support your decision. Take care.

Answer 9

It is natual to have trust issues, it may take along time to trust someone to tell them something, regardless wot it is, only you will know if you can trust this person, if this person breaks this trust they may make trust issues with others worse. It is really good to talk, I hope people can help you good luck in the future, realise that you can make your dreams come true, drugs and alcohol can tend to make problems or mental health worse believe me I have been there, I did not like my phsycologist either but years later I have realised that it is really good to talk, but you will only be ready when you are ready, things can change this is your life remember that and you have rights you have a right not to be hurt and you have a right to be heard!
You are very brave, take care x

ps I have added you to my contacts I hope you dont mind

I used to work with teens and young people, young people like yourself and others can face many problems it is really great you can become supported or even ask for some help, you can make a big difference in helping others in the future even if at times you donot believe it

Answer 10

I hope that you get to read my answer:

Please don't hurt yourself. You will always have you.
You will eventually outgrow your parents. You will be successful at something, and you will have your own home, your own pets, your own flowergarden and your own mailbox.

bide your time, being a teen is a dealicate time of your life and you will come to realize this when you are older,
as soon as you are old enough to work, get a job, any job.
Stay away from people that drink or do drugs.
That is satan's way of hurting you.
don't be facinated by good looking people. (that was my downfall, cute guys UUHHH!).

And, finally, when you give God some time, he gives time to you. I promise. and I am praying for you.

Valerie