Do you have an idea for a homecoming suprise for my hubby?

Question

when he comes home from Iraq...other than a clean house and i can have food cooked for him...should i fill the house with balloons?

aww thanks! i am so excited to see him!

okay...i will remember that ..i will give him space and time to sleep...he said his new fav food is spagetti and meatballs...i will cook that for him..i miss him so much

yes one little girl who is 4..every day she asks me when is August cause he comes home the end of August beginning of September..she asked me why does it take so long for daddy to come home

i was thinking about him having a nice quiet place to chill...where no one is asking him questions at all

thanks John..i will take your advice!:) i will not bring up politics at all and no disagreements at all!!!!

that is so funny i was thinking about buying a new mattress lol..i really was

lol lots of sex ! okay no problem..blushes lol

omg i never thought of that...good point...i won't get a new mattress..i did get a new couch though! i hope that won't cause any strange thoughts! lol

i did and he was mad about the couch....nope i sure haven't gone on a shopping spree i am still wearing my beat up cut off shorts all the time and my five dollar walmart shirts lol! thats a good point though to keep the house simple and not look like i was spending like a maniac!

i am only guilty of too much spending at cvs lol i have alot of conditioner and lipgloss lol

Answer 1

Sweatpea, he won't care too much about the balloons. He'll care about you.

He's a man and balloons really don't mean that much to us, even if we sometimes try to pretend they do, for you girls that have put so much work into it.

He's gonna want a good meal, quality time with you and honestly a lot of sleep after that long trip. He'll be a bit irritable but not at you so he'll need some patience.

He's excited to see you as well, though he may not demonstrate the way you expect. He may not even be able to show it in a way you'll recognize. But regardless you should know that he has looked forward to this for many many months.

Also, remember, he'll be a bit overwhelmed with both your excitement (no need to hide the excitement of course) and anyone else that is there, so try to make sure he has a place to retreat from the crowds if they're around.

I know you are excited. I know how you've dreamed of this. We've talked here before.

Hey, just one more thing: Don't bring up politics or war while he's home. Nothing negative. If he wants to talk about it, best advise is just listen. If he doesn't keep everything positive, as much as possible. Regardless of how he feels about it, no arguments about anything, k?

Thank you for supporting our soldier. Yours is one of the most important kinds of support he can have.

Consider of course what underlying message a new mattress may imply. No accusations here, but you have to remember he's seen buddies that came to a realization that their women weren't faithful. Don't throw out the old one by no means, even if the new one is justified.

And your caring touch will be what he cherishes most. It'll speak volumes that can't be told any other way.

As long as you haven't gone on a spending spree, spending his hard earned money, I'm sure he'll appreciate the new couch, but I'd still recommend that you mention it before he gets there.

Answer 2

The question is are there any children? While I am waiting for my husband to return I fill the days by giving the children crafts to make so we can hang them around the house when he gets home. It is personal and I know from his last deployment that he will love it. While it's not the most important thing to do. It is the keepsakes for the homecoming which in the future are wonderful to look back on.

With the child at that age go buy some construction paper make a chain one link for each day left. Let her take one off every day. My husband is coming home close to the same time and we did it last week. My 2 1/2 year old can't wait for him to get here and he loves the crafts. We spend a couple of hours about 2 days a week doing pictures with different things on them. I went so far that I am taking the links off the chain and putting them back together so that he can see the countdown chain still hanging when he gets back. As far as sending the 4 year old away I disagree. Most FSG leaders will tell you do not leave them out. They need to readjust more than anyone and they will be hurt if you rush them away. Give it a few days before you guys try to take your personal time. Also if you make yourself attend the FSG meetings then you can explain to your daughter that all of the other children there have daddy's with hers and they are all waiting for their dads too. That she can relate to and just watch her reaction. I did this last week and when I told my son that he got a big smile and just started watching all of the kids cause he knew they had something in common.

Answer 3

The best thing you can offer him is patience and understanding. Of course he'll be thrilled to see you, but don't assume that he'll just immediately settle back into life at home with no problem. War changes people. It's hard to go from being on your guard all the time and considering everyone you see as a potential threat to being an ordinary citizen again. Let him talk if he wants to, but don't press him. Give him all the love you can. Good luck.

Answer 4

Let a friend or relative take the kids for the night after he visits with them. You need to be together as a couple, not parents. Simple finger foods and a beverage of his choice on the coffee table. Let him sleep...it will take several days to adjust. Take him to the mall/home depot or other seemingly mundane places that will really help him appreciate home. Coming home is like a dream world for a while. Every drive is like restrained ecstasy for a while

Answer 5

How about getting all his favorite things to stock the pantry and fridge...a pack of his fav. beer, or other drinks, candy, snacks, bake his fav cookies etc. Then get his fav magazines to put in the bathroom. Just pamper him and let him put his feet up when he gets back. Another idea...you could make a scrapbook for the two of you (if you dont already have one). Use pics of yourselves, your family and any newspaper clippings from his deployment. If you are crafty and already have a scrapbook or don't want to do that you could make him a quilt and transfer some photos of you two to fabric and use that for the quilt. You can buy iron on transfer paper at craft stores.

Answer 6

It's all about you and any little gesture you make. Forget the big stuff. I hand written letter, that you read to him about the how your thoughts were filled with the thought of him and his safety, the pride you feel for him and the love and respect you have and always will have for him. That gets to a man's heart.
Just knowing he was in every thought and prayer you had while he was gone.
What could be better than that?
God Bless him and the both of you.
He is indeed a lucky man to have you. As you are with him.

Answer 7

Feed him, love him, make him feel glad to be home. But, don't ask him any questions about what he's seen and done. He'll open to that on his own terms or maybe never. One other thing. Make sure you have a comfortable mattress for him to sleep on.

Answer 8

one thing you do NOT want to do is overwhelm him with a bunch of people (friends AND RELATIVES) his first day back.... yes he WILL want to see them but he won't want a bunch of people hanging around clinging to him all day that very first day---it should just be YOU and his child at the airport to greet him and bring him home... MAYBE the second day he is home, you could have his parents, YOUR parents or whatever relatives are close by come and see him but NOT to stay over night at your house---they should get a HOTEL...then just play it by ear--- he will let you know what he wants and/or needs...

Answer 9

John T - I would have emailed this but your profile doesn't allow it.

I'm going to print out your post and give it to my girlfriends whose spouses are going/gone already, and I'll hold on to one for myself. Your perspective gave me a wake up call, thank you.

Answer 10

I am really not trying to be crude, and I know this will sound crazy coming from a girl, but...

Not a lot of talking, lots and lots of sex.