Last year my 9 year old son (forth grade) wrote the F word on the restroom wall at school. His punishment was no restroom privileges for a day. Be basically had to stand against the wall while everyone else went at each restroom break. So he had to hold it from 7:30 in the morning until he got home at 3:30 pm. I was told of this punishment, but was told if it could not be used he was getting suspended for two day. I agreed making sure he did not drink allot at breakfast. He made it without wetting himself, but peed for a long time. He said he was fine until after lunch back in class. I feel now I should have let him be suspended. What do you think? Being suspended would have gone on his permanent record.
2007-07-14 17:11:58 · 41 answers · asked by ....... 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
That doesn't even sound legal. I would consult with an attorney on this matter. The school should have punished appropriately and according to guidelines that don't violate a student's rights. The choice you were given was an unhealthy one. To deny a child access to a bathroom? That's cruel and unusual if you ask me. Did you agree to this in writing? The media would eat this up, your local news would be on top of this if you were to call on them.
2007-07-14 17:19:00 · answer #1 · answered by RhapsodyinBlue 2 · 7⤊ 2⤋
That is something that I would take to the school board and then to the state if they refuse to do anything about it. NO college would really care if a child was suspended for 2 days in 4th grade but that was cruel and unusual punishment and I would pull my child from that school if they dared to try a punishment like that. This punishment did not fit the crime and it could have ended up with social and emotional as well as physical scars to your child. Even though it was just a day it still wasnt right that they take away a basic need from your child. I am surprised that they even suggested it. If they can do that to your child what are they doing to others. I would spread the word around to other parents to beware of extreme punishments and then let school board know that they basically told you that they gave little choice of a bad permanant record or a cruel punishment and they manuipulated you in all ways.
2007-07-14 17:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by brookes_mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think making him hold it in is like corporal punishment--and could hurt his health; however, I think something on his permanent record could be harmful to his schooling at some point. I think they could have come up with a different solution. What if he peed his pants and then was teased all throughout his school years? That could be mentally damaging. Who chose the punishment? A teacher or a principal, or someone else? If a teacher, I'd go to a principal; if a principal, perhaps try a counselor at school, or maybe someone on the school board? I would definitely try to find someone higher up to voice your opinion on that punishment. If he wrote that word on the lunchroom wall would they not let him eat all day? If he wrote it on the bus would they make him walk home? If he wrote it on the knee of his pants would they make him come to school with no pants on? I don't think the punishment fits the crime here. That's a terrible choice to inflict on you and I'd ask first of all where that is written in the school's policy or the district's policy. If there is none, then tell them you're going to follow through and find out if they can make up rules as they go along as they damn well please. Put a little pressure on those in charge. Why didn't they give him no pencil privileges?
2007-07-14 17:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by Helen L 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure that is not legal. Your child could have developed a urinary tract infection. That punishment should have never even been thought of. Going to the bathroom is not a privilege. I'm surprised that you would choose such a cruel punishment. What ever happened to cleaning the word off the wall and detention?
2007-07-14 17:50:18 · answer #4 · answered by Snickers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is unacceptable. Granted your son should not have written the F word on the wall, he should not be restricted from relieving his bowels, or restricted from meals. A fitting punishment for a fourth grader would be cleaning the bathroom wall and being required to have an adult male present in the bathroom for two days. The school could have suspended your son, but if this is his first offense, then suspension would be too harsh. Find the school's handbook. There should be a section about code of conduct and punishment. Review it. If something like this were to happen to my child, I would fight it. I would take it up with the president of the school board. Let it go this time, but document what happened. Date it and have it notarized. Then if they try to do it again, fight it. Get a lawyer if you have to.
2007-07-14 17:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by R.B. 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Whoever decided upon this punishment is not very bright. Consider this: If your son had an "accident" on himself because of this punishment, the humiliation would be grounds for a major lawsuit. The person who decided upon this course of action would either lose their job (teacher), or have a serious reprimand placed in their permanent file.
Next time, I would recommend the suspension. At the elementary school level, a suspension in your son's record, would have no serious consequences. That is, of course, if your son does not regularly cause trouble.
I do think, however, that your son may benefit from having a serious discussion with you about respecting other people and property.
At the school at which I teach, vandalism and graffiti is uncommon. We try to teach the children through respect.
We model the behavior we want them to emulate.
2007-07-14 17:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by idplmali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your child should have never had bathroom privileges taken away. that was wrong on so many levels. sure he should not have written the F word but then again where did he learn that word? i would have let him taken the suspension and been done with it. there are other ways to punish a child take away something that is fun not something that is needed. and you should have just let it go on his record (it is erased anyway at high school), all that would have done is say he got in trouble in the 4th grade, that doesn't mean he is a bad kid.
2007-07-14 18:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take that to the board of education! Bathroom is NOT a privilege it IS a RIGHT! take that up with the big man...... that is sooo wrong. He deserves no matter what to go. I am sorry but If i was him I would have gone in my pants.......
HOLDING YOUR PEE FOR MORE THAN SIX HOURS PUTS YOU AT RISK FOR A RUPTURED BLADDER!
Your record gets ERASED when you go to high school..... that wasn't even an issue. He could of gotten seriously hurt.
Reminder: It isn't just the schools fault it is yours..... i would have had a chat with the principal first.
Going to the bathroom is a right... not a privilege
2007-07-14 17:35:27 · answer #8 · answered by Oh la la! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that the school had the balls to do that or that you let it happen. That's just abusive. Going to the bathroom isn't a privilege, its his right, its human nature. Might as well starve him. I can't imagine the school can get away with something like that. Could you imagine holding it for that long? He could've gotten really sick, ex: kidney problems. What if he'd peed his pants? Then he'd have been ridiculed forever. He would have been labeled "that" kid, the one that pissed himself. I don't even let my dogs go that long without a walk. I don't think you should've let it happen & I would contact the school board about it too. Maybe even look into a lawyer, then again if you signed something or gave your permission, then you're just as guilty.
2007-07-14 19:29:28 · answer #9 · answered by Tara C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have rather seen my child suspended than put his body and mind through something like this. Going to the bathroom isn't a privilege for crying out loud...it's a necessity!
Comparing a child's health choice to his record, especially at 9 yrs old is crazy.
What's really sad is you were given the choice of punishment for him and this is what you as this child's parent chose.
The people who are saying you should sue apparently didn't read that YOU agreed to this punishment.
2007-07-14 17:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by whatchagonnado 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That just seems sooo wrong. They should not be allowed to punish a child with something that could affect his health. There are other ways to do it. In sixth grade, I threw a rock at the recess aide. I still got suspended for a day, but the principal and my parents agreed that I should be punished further. I had to spend like an hour or two picking up trash and stones from the playground. On another instance, (I was a pretty horible kid at times....) I carved the f word into the back of a bus seat. For that one, I had to tape up the seat and clean the bus. There are so many ways to punish. It should not interfere with a kids well-being.
2007-07-14 17:18:32 · answer #11 · answered by Jamie 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋